Boys and Their Toys
by TexasRoseFanfiction
Summary: "The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys" unless you're Toyward...and you decide to share your toy box. When Jasper wanders into Edward's toy store...his life will never be the same. TrueEnglishRose/texasbella E/J
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns it all...we just twist it up and laugh our asses off...**

**A/N:** Welcome new and old readers alike. What can we say? We've decided to create a single collab account as we've now got a second collab in the planning stages and we doubt it'll be our last...so from here on out we will be posting on THIS profile instead of individually on our separate profiles...should make it easier for ya'll!

_Chapter One~_

"To the left a bit… No… To the _left_…" she whined in unsatisfied irritation.

_Great, how am I supposed to concentrate on this now that I have _that_ fucking song in my head? _I thought to myself as I propped myself more comfortably on my elbows.

I hated doing this.

Clits, lips and juice.

I hated it, hated it all.

Where the hell those romance authors came up with the notion that pussy juice tasted 'sweet as honey,' was beyond me.

"Jasper, are you paying attention?" she panted frustratingly and I couldn't give a shit. And no, I really wasn't paying attention.

"I'm sorry, Maggie, but I just can't get into it," I groaned out as I detached my swollen lips from her lower lips and came up for some much needed air.

Damn woman always tried to suffocate me while I was down there, I swear she did. I could see my death certificate now: Cause of Death: Drowned in orgasmic flood.

It would have been slightly more appealing, if I could use that word, if I didn't have to use a weed whacker to get to the right spot. I don't think she'd ever shaved or waxed down there and it resembled either the burning bush or the Amazon rain forest. Let's go with the rainforest…because it was definitely sticky, hot and unchartered with who knows what lurking in its depths.

"Well, maybe if you worked a little less instead of doing all of those stupid digs, you wouldn't be so tired and we could actually enjoy ourselves," she huffed as she reached for her rabbit.

_Ourselves?_

Yeah right. I can't remember the last time I actually enjoyed myself.

Don't get me wrong, I got it up, I pumped, I got off, but I didn't enjoy myself.

"Are you listening to me?"

Nag, nag, nag….

_Are we really having this conversation while she's playing with herself right next to me?_

Slurp

Squick

Glop

Jesus Christ…the sounds coming from between her legs as she shoved that piece of plastic between them was making me nauseous!

I really wanted to say that I wasn't listening to her, but she would only go and cry to my mom and then I would have shit for the next week from dad about the moral strength of the family home being on the shoulders of the man. Cue the eye roll.

Christ, we weren't even married yet and I was getting marriage advice!

"I think we need to see a professional," she finally whimpered out as she came, sounding very similar to next door's cat… in heat.

"Maggie, how about we actually get married before we start hitting the therapists?"

Trust me, we'd need to then. Medication might even be needed.

"I'm not talking about a therapist, Jasper, I mean a sexual expert."

And that my dear friend, is how I ended up coming face to face with a tattooed, pierced and fucking hot _male_ sex shop owner.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER:** Steph owns them, we're corrupting them.

**A/N:** Well, it seems ya'll are quite sorry for poor Jasper…and rather disgusted by Maggie! LOL. Sadly, she's going to get worse. But happily, Jasper is about to make a new friend to help deal with her.

If you aren't 18 or over, these aren't the kinds of toys you should be playing with, so be on your way.

**PSA:** Mr. Snuffaluffagus was not harmed in the writing of this story!

**EPOV**

"_Sweat baby, sweat baby. Sex is a Texas drought. Me and you do the kind of stuff. That only Prince would sing about. So put your hands down my pants. And I bet you'll feel nuts. Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert. And you're getting two thumbs up. You've had enough of two-hand touch. You want it rough, you're out of bounds. I want you smothered, want you covered. Like my Waffle House hash browns. Comin' quicker than Fed Ex. Never reach an apex. Just like Coca-Cola stock. You are inclined to make me rise an hour early. Just like daylight savings time…"_

Swaying, popping and grinding my hips, I happily juggled and bounced the toys about in my hands as I stocked the shelves. Since I was alone in the store I decided to have some fun and test out some more of the new merchandise I'd ordered. I slowly peeled back the wrapping from the realistic fleshy strap on dong in my hands and I ran my tongue around it. Then I sucked it down into my throat.

Well fuck me, they weren't lying in their advertising. Damn thing really did taste like bananas!

Cool…I'd be able to sell a lot of these bad boys. I set it aside to add to the special toy box in my office and reached for the next item in the box.

Today was a good day, I could just _feel_ it. Or that might be the new beads I was trying out.

There was no shitty news on the radio when I drove to work, the weather was fine and there wasn't even a line at the coffee house.

It also didn't hurt that I woke up with a glorious hard on thanks to the new alarm clock butt plug I'd slept in. Yeah, that fucker started vibrating at 6:45 on the nose, just as I'd programmed it to. All I had to do was pull my knees up, clench my ass and tweak my nipples and my day started with a hands free O.

Totally having a good day.

"_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals. So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Do it again now. You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals. So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Gettin' horny…"_

I turned around on the spot and threw a double ended vibrator in the air and missed catching it as I watched a couple, watching me, while they stood in the door way of the shop.

Okay, so today would _not_ be totally good day.

I slowly removed the ear buds from my ears and stopped the music. Of course the timer I'd set on the beads went off at that moment sending an electric tingle against my prostate.

"Yeah… Sorry about that, welcome to The Lion's Den, how can I help you?" I stuttered slowly, trying not to groan at the sensations in my backside, as I saw the fire red headed woman smirk at me and the fuck hot young man blush.

I cocked my head to the side as I looked them over. Did she lick a light socket? Maybe I should get her the name of my hair dresser? Seriously…red frizz everywhere. Now, blondie was another story. Yeah, his clothes were a bit preppy for my taste with his sweater vest thing and that button up shirt…but maybe if he added a pair of glasses…

_Oh yeah, he could totally fulfill my naughty schoolboy fantasy._

"Well, we came for some, like, advice on spicing up our sex life, but I'd take that, like, show you just put on _anytime_ time of the day," she cooed and I felt my dick shrivel back up inside me. Quite a feat considering the beads were now enlarging and shrinking in a pulsing motion deep inside me. _Breathe E…it's only for thirty seconds…5, 4, 3, 2…relief._

"Hmm, well that's normally only available for a select few," I replied with a sexy smirk as I cast my eyes over her silent partner. "So anyway, what do you have in mind?" I finished off talking and placed the last of the DP dildos on the rack.

"Well, Jazzy here works long hours, so by the time he gets home he's, like, too tired to do much, so I just thought we could, like, get a few things to speed up the process a bit," she giggled and I wanted to hurl.

_Speed up the process? Since when was sex a 'process'? _My heart went out to the poor schmuck who seemed to be missing his leash.

'Jazzy' looked like his eyes were going to bounce out of his head and hit the floor by her statement and I wasn't too far behind him.

Hmmm, now there's a thought.

What I did pick up on from her statement, once I filtered out the 'like' abuse, was that it seemed very one sided. She was all for HER pleasure and instant gratification.

I wondered what _Jazzy_ had to say about all of this.

_Jazzy_? Really?

Well, I am the expert and this poor guy definitely needs my help. I puffed up my chest, clenched my ass and adjusted myself. What? My package had shifted in reaction to the beads.

I didn't miss how they both followed the movement of my hand. _I wonder…_

"Well, there's a lot you can get for _both_ of you, what have you tried in the past?" I asked, directing the question at _Jazzy_.

God, every time I thought his name I cringed.

_Jazzy_ reminded me of Jazz hands.

Mmm, I knew what _Jazzy_ could do with his hands, on me perhaps….

"I have a, like, standard vibrator and a rabbit, oh and, like, a clit toy that is like pretty useless," she gushed happily and I wanted to growl. Wasn't talking to you Snuffaluffagus.

And what was with the 'like' business going on?

"And what about you, Jazzy?" I think I did well to hide the gagging noise that was erupting when I said his name. Don't get me wrong…I liked to gag…on cock. Not a nickname that belonged on a playground.

"Jasper," he said firmly, his voice suddenly not the only firm thing in the room.

Oh thank the heavens.

Jasper.

It was a cute name.

It reminded me of the cute _Casper_ film.

Let me rephrase, Casper when he turned human, not the ghost Casper.

That would just be too freaky.

Saying that, is admitting that the kid was cute, too freaky? He was what, thirteen?

Sheesh.

"And I don't have or use any toys," he grumbled, pulling my thoughts back into the room. Hot guy says what?

"Nothing?" I choked out.

What man didn't have _any_ toys?

"Nope," he blushed this cute little shade of red that made my dick want to reach out and greet him.

I ran my tongue bar over the roof of my mouth, watching him shiver at the clicking noise.

God, I wonder what it would be like to run it up and down his shaft? I also wondered if his swollen dick would be the same shade of red or if would be a nice deep purple…

_Bad, Edward, that's naughty thinking that._

I internally chastised myself as I walked closer to them.

"No beads, cuffs, lube even?" I stuttered.

How could he not have toys?

"Well, we're going to rectify that, my friend," I smiled widely as I slapped him playfully on the back and led them to the men's area.

"What about me and, like, my needs?" Snuffy whimpered slightly and I wanted to gag again.

"Oh don't worry sweetheart, we'll get to you soon, but I want to make sure your boy here knows how to please you first," I joked and she seemed to relax a little bit. Thank fuck.

"Right, Jasper, let's have a look at what we have for you. Now, what are you looking for? A longer stamina and to hold off on your orgasm-," I was cut off by the ever so slightly wide eyes and the mini shake of his head.

Oh!

He didn't like being with the red head.

"…Or something that makes you orgasm faster, but harder?" I finished talking as if I didn't see his reaction, though I was fist pumping on the inside.

"I wouldn't mind trying the, erm, harder orgasm thing," he almost whispered as he cast his eyes towards his partner.

"Excellent, well I have just the thing for you," I chuckled as I saw him exhale in relief.

"This little thing," I said proudly as I reached for the toy, "is a cock ring. Now, normally they can hold off orgasms, but this is the next best thing to a male vibrator. It has a built in vibrating nodule that over stimulates you and your partner. Fancy giving it a go?" I asked happily.

Internally I was dreaming about him using it with me…maybe along with the beads.

Chance would be a fine thing.

"So I, like, get off on it too?" Red head butted in and I had to chuckle.

Selfish fucking cow, er, elephant. Whatever the hell that Snuffy thing was.

"Yep," I replied with a smile.

"I think I might be up for giving it a go," he replied as his eyes were fixed firmly on my cock. I thrust my hips at him and his baby blues widened again.

Oh yeah, we have a contender.

"Good," I answered with a smile as I looked at his cock, giving him the clear indication that I liked the look of him _and_ his cock.

"What else do you think we should, like, use?" Snuffy cut in and I wanted to growl at her, and not in a sexy way. Cuntpickle kept trying to throw off my groove.

"Why don't you take this for now, my treat, and pop back in a few days? If you use too many toys at a time, you will get over sensitized and nothing will work properly," I smiled sweetly at her and then threw in a wink for good measure.

If I made _her_ sweet, she would bring Jasper back in.

"Really?" she answered like a freaking high school cheerleader and I saw Jasper roll his eyes.

I walked over to the counter to put the toy in a plain black bag.

"So how long have you been married?" I asked as I handed Jasper his bag. I really didn't want to risk touching her hand.

"Oh, we're not married yet. We've been engaged for, like, six weeks now, but we've been together for, like, seven months," she replied happily.

Fucking hell, seven months and relying on toys to get off already?

Wow.

I was up for men and women having toys, hell, it's why I have the shop, but to rely on them as a couple?

"That's cool," I choked out quietly.

Or not.

Poor Jasper.

I wondered if I could get him to come into the shop anytime soon…on his own. Or maybe not on his own, but on me…

She had already grabbed the bag and started towards the exit. "Well, thanks for coming in. See ya in a few days," I said hurriedly as I pushed a business card across the counter towards Jasper, who had stopped at my words. He glanced down at it and I nodded silently and gave him a wink.

He blushed again as he palmed the card and slipped it into his front pocket. My eyes followed his hand and I salivated at the outline in his jeans.

"Jazzzzzzyyyy, let's, like, go," huffed Snuffy as she stomped her foot. He rolled his eyes and whispered 'thanks' to me before he spun on his heel and broke into a jog to catch up to her.

As I watched his fine retreating ass, all I could think was 'Oh wow, all the things I could teach him…'

**A/N: What would YOU like to teach Jasper? Oh yeah...the boys have a blog thanks to JA Mash...songs and pictures and other goodies! www . toyward . blogspot . com**


	3. Chapter 3

**Maybe if Stephenie Meyer had had toys like these, a certain scene would not have faded to black...no worries...we won't fade to black on you...when the time cums *smirks***

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has put us on alert and left reviews. The response this nonsense is getting is, like, fantastic! *shakes head* The majority of you don't seem to like Maggie too much...in fact, some of you have been quite violent towards her! She's not exactly our favorite person either...in a sick kind of way, it makes it fun to write her.**

**On the toys...consider the rest of this story a game...Is it Real or is it Fake? Haha...can you figure out, without Googling, which toys actually exist and which are just creations from our twisted minds? JMolly suggested we go into toy development...**

**Okay, enough jabbering...we've got Jasper in Armani...**

Chapter 3

_Oh Lord, kill me fucking dead, please! _I cried out in my mind as Snuffy – I hadn't even bothered to ask her name yet – and Jasper came into my store three days later.

He was in a fucking suit!

I'm not talking an off the rack kind either, oh no, this was a black, crisp Armani suit with black shirt and tie. Tailored. Form fitting. Ass displaying…

I wanted to fuck him there and then and was more than willing to forgive him for not having used the card to call me.

Good things come to those who wait and all that shit. Isn't that part of the whole orgasm denial thing...the longer you wait for it, the more intense it is? Yeah, at this rate, by the time I get him to suck my cock, the force of my explosion just might shoot out the back of his head.

"How can I help you two today?" I asked, my voice a little garbled as I tried to swallow my lust, and Snuffy started to wander about the shop while Jasper raised a brow to me.

I wanted to lick it. Especially when I pictured it with a silver hoop through it.

I wondered if he would be up for it. Getting a little metal and ink on him would only enhance what he already had and give my tongue something else to have fun with on the playground that was his body.

"Maggie wants something more aimed at her clit, if you don't mind me being so forward?" he mused as he watched her look at some lubes and some pink tingly powered shit. So that's her name. Think I'll stick with Snuffy…it suits her better.

"Be as forward as you like," I muttered with a suggestive smirk, thinking it would be delightful if he'd just bend forward and offer me his ass.

Bloody hell, what was it with this guy? I didn't usually lust after the customers like this!

His eyes widened a little, but he regained his composure just before Snuffy made her way back over to us.

"How did you get on with the cock ring, Maggie?" I asked as I kept my eyes on Jasper. He didn't disappoint me as his eyes slowly blinked and he bit his lower lip for just a moment before his wet tongue darted out, teasing the area he'd just nibbled.

Was it wrong that I wanted to fuck him in front of her to show her how it was supposed to be done?

I couldn't help it. In that black, somehow the lines of his face were stronger, more masculine and fuck me gently with a chainsaw if his eyes weren't the most intense blue!

"It was good, like, I think Jasper enjoyed it more than me, but that's, like, why we're back, I need something a little _more_, if you get what I mean," she winked at me and I wanted to hurl again. I've got something a little more…right over in the BDSM section…a nice muzzle.

Remind me next time to make sure I knew when they were coming in so I could take some anti-sickness meds.

"Hmm, well what do you like?" I mused as I looked between the ladies section and the BDSM section.

"A little bit of, like, everything I suppose," she replied with a smile and a little shrug. I pursed my lips, acting like I was thinking. Somehow I seriously doubted she was into a little of _everything_. In fact, this was my chance to show Jasper just what an unsatisfying lover he had.

"So how about some nipple clamps?" I hedged, wondering if Jasper's nipples were big enough to handle clamps.

"Oh no, that'd be, like, too painful, I think," she admonished as she curled her lip in disgust and I fought a smirk.

"So you're not into clitoral clamps either then?" I asked, trying extremely hard to keep the smile off of my face.

"Oh no, not at all." She had paled slightly.

"Anal toys, plugs, beads, dildos, eggs?" I asked, enjoying the look of mortification that was coming over her face.

"Ew no, that's just, like, _wrong_," she stage whispered as she looked around to see if anybody had overheard the 'villainous' things I was suggesting to her.

So much for her trying a little bit of everything. Prude.

Jasper was stood beside her, a look of almost longing on his face as he sighed quietly. And the point goes to…moi.

"So you want clitoral toys and possibly vibrators and dildos. Bigger than what you're used to or smaller?" I quickly scanned Jasper's crotch again, seeing an opportunity to maybe find out just what he was packing. _It would be good to know if I should switch to a bigger plug,_ I thought as I clenched around the Dr. Kink's Tunnel Funnel I was trying out today. As I squeezed, I could feel some of the lube that I'd filled the hollow chamber with ooze into me, allowing the toy to slip around just a bit.

_Damn, that's nice._

"I don't need any bigger than Jazzy here, he's, like, plenty big enough for me," she giggled again and I wanted to crawl into a hole.

Preferably taking Jasper with me.

While I was definitely interested in his size, I didn't need to know any info about how big he was from _her_. I wanted him to provide the measurements…willingly. In fact, I'd be more than happy to take said measurements personally.

It was just plain rude of her to blurt out that information.

Didn't she get taught about the appropriate time to share? My eyes darted up to my boy and he was looking a little green around the edges. Yeah, he wasn't any more impressed than I was.

Back to business...

"Okay, so how about we concentrate on a clit toy for you. Hmm, how about a stimulator that you can wear under your panties while Jasper has the remote? I have found they can be quite fun," I smirked deviously.

The _fun_ thing was thinking that Jasper could get her off without touching her.

"Thatsoundsgood," he rushed out a little too quickly and I caught the relieved look in his eyes again.

He really didn't want to touch her. That's my boy!

Half an hour later and she had _finally_ chosen a small butterfly toy that she had to wear like a strap on.

The smile on Jasper's face was evident as she showed it off to him.

"And what about you, Jasper, has anything caught your eye?" I asked sweetly. Well, maybe not so sweetly…the question was loaded…like my balls had been for the last three days. It didn't matter how much I emptied them, I kept thinking of him and they kept refilling.

"I-er," he mumbled.

"Jazzy, why are you being so, like, shy? You're never normally this quiet," Snuffy said, full of concern. "He's _always_ loud, if you get my meaning," she continued with an irritating giggle as she overshared once again.

Okay then, not so full of concern.

"Hey, Maggie, call it a hunch, but are you into the whole Twilight madness?" I asked, a plan forming. She started to shake her head and deny it, so I cut her off. "Oh come on, it's alright…I'll even admit some of those cast members are pretty easy to look at," I said without shame.

_Especially that one emo guy…hey, now that I think about it…he kinda looks like Jasper._

"Well yeah," she snorted, "I am. Why do you ask?" she furrowed her brow.

"Did you know they've made some pornos based on the movies?" I threw out and her eyes kind of glazed over. "The movies are just around the corner there…you can't miss them. Why don't you check them out while I talk to Jasper here? You know, sometimes men just don't know how to open up in front of women, no matter how much they love them," I said softly and threw in a wink for good measure.

Bearing in mind that her fiancé was standing right next to her, she didn't do well to cover up her blush and girlie giggle as she skipped off around the corner. Whore.

"You must really love her," I mumbled quietly.

"Pfft, like I have a choice," he grumbled as I walked him over to the men's section again.

What's this? I knew there was trouble in paradise, but never would I have guessed he was in this mess against his will. This was the twenty-first century was it not?

"So how long has it been?" I asked quietly, taking the plunge, clenching and feeling a little more lube slide into my ass.

"What do you mean?"

"How long has it been since you had a dick in you instead of being with that delightful firecracker?" I said sarcastically…hopefully.

I saw a brief flicker of something in his bright blue eyes before he answered.

"Over eighteen months," he groused and I had to bite my cheek not to cheer at his admission.

"Ouch," I chuckled lightly as I grabbed a Doc Jonson Ass In a Can. "These can be quite good if you have a good imagination. You can reuse them as well. Also small enough to put in your bag for work, if you get the hint," I said with a cheeky smile as I handed it over to him.

We just needed to get some more dick in him to man him up. My cock chose that moment to twitch, as if he was volunteering.

"Yeah, and how am I going to get to the counter with this in my hand and her not say anything?" he scoffed as he looked at the can with longing.

"It's not all about her, you know," I said quietly as my eyes scanned the store. When I was sure it was just us, I slipped the can into his pocket, letting my fingers linger on this thigh longer than what would normally be considered appropriate. Judging by the way his pants tightened, I didn't think he minded.

"I know, but if she's happy, I get some peace and quiet," he said resignedly, choking on his words as I let a finger brush over his bulge as I pulled my hand away.

"And what about you, what do _you_ want? Don't you want to be happy, Jasper?" I pushed.

"You really want to know what I want? I want to be thrown up against a wall while someone, a man, attacks my skin, covers it with little nibbles, passionate kisses that leave my face stinging from their stubble, hair pulling and then when I can't take anymore, I want to _beg_ to be fucked… hard. I want to come so hard while that person pounds into me like there's no tomorrow," he said with determination as his eyes never left mine.

Fuck…Oprah had _nothing_ on my investigative skills.

_Annnndddd _holy shit, I think I just died.

No, honestly, check for a pulse!

"I'm here to help with anything you need," I whispered and the air around us thickened dramatically.

**A/N: Well now *clears throat* yeah...um, see ya next week...**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: Sadly, not ours. **

**A/N: Wow, ya'll really like it? Maybe we aren't as crazy as we thought! Hehe. Okay, from last week…the FAKE toy…was the Dr. Kink Tunnel Funnel. And while the alarm from chapter two was a figment of our imagination, we have managed to find a few things online that were awfully close…caffeine injection anyone?**

**A big thank you to shar0525 for this AWESOME review…we had no idea that we might actually be helping out the little guy! "**So yeah after that you want to know where my sleep-deprived dumb ass mind went? I feel sorry for sex toy store owners and workers. They are talented in their own right. They provide a service. A valuable service. And I think the Internet has killed their business. That's sad really.

Maybe we - all those reading this story - should go to our local sex toy stores and buy something. Tell the people there that they're doing a great job.

I mean really. We all have sex in some fashion. We can all use something in the store right?

Wow. Maybe I should be a politician! Save American small business owners! Visit and purchase from the sex toy stores! Are these things made in America?

Ps...what ever happened to 'head shops'? (did I just date myself? How would my 24 year old self know about that?)**"**

**Have we jabbered long enough? Yeah…we'll let you get to it…*whispers* panties optional…j/s.**

**Chapter 4**

**JPOV**

"_He really got me working up an appetite_

_He had tattoos up and down his arm_

_There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm_

_He's a one stop shop, makes my _**boxers**_ drop_

_He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman_

_A sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman, ooh, yeah"_

"You seem to be in, like, a good mood this evening, sweetheart," Maggie laughed as I nearly burnt myself on the oil from the pan. Did she have to creep around her own house like she was Ms. Penelope?

I hoped to fucking God that she didn't hear me say the word _'boxers'_ in that song or I would never hear the fucking end of it.

"Jesus, woman, give a guy some warning," I chastised her as I started to plate up the food.

Did you notice that I didn't agree or disagree with her that I was happy?

I was very happy. Happier than I'd been in months in fact, and it had nothing to do with _her_, that was for sure.

The toy that Edward had given me was sensational. Okay, so it was far from the real thing, but so much better than nothing.

The real thing was hip popping and dick flopping in his shop to God knows what song this time.

I felt the slight swelling in my pants as I remembered seeing him that first day. He'd been in a pair of low ride sweats that hung on his hips, a black tee and a dressy black vest. It should have been a laughable outfit, but on him, it was sex personified.

Oh God, I really wanted him.

Desperately.

_Not the time to get an erection, Jasper! _I scolded myself as Maggie walked further into the kitchen and I angled my groin away from her line of sight.

The last thing I needed her to do was to try and jump me on the kitchen table.

"How come you're cooking, I thought we were, like, going over to your parent's place tonight?" she simpered as she sat at the table.

_Please don't look at the cock, please don't look at the cock._

"Dad has a chest infection and has taken himself to bed," I muttered as I placed the plates on the table.

They weren't really my parents. They were my grandparents and were getting on in years. My real mom walked out on me when I was younger and I never knew my dad. I wasn't bitter about it though. Even if my 'parents' were.

"Oh no! Do you think, like, I should go over there with some, like, soup or something?" she asked with fake concern.

"Nah, mom's got it covered," I replied. I knew for a fact that if she went, I would have to go too and then I would be left with dad as the ladies spoke about the wedding that we hadn't even set a date for.

No thanks.

"So when are we, like, going back to see Edward?" she asked casually as we dug into our food. Does she really have to make smacking noises while she chews?

"Depends, how did you get on with that toy?" I asked, looking down at my plate so I wouldn't have to look at the partially macerated food on her tongue.

I might have accidentally on purpose made sure I got home late from work last night so she ended up calling me. She was begging to use it and wondered if I minded.

Not one iota.

I'd even suggested she use it while watching one of her new movies. I was secretly waiting for my chance to check them out as well. The lead looked an awful lot like Edward and I wouldn't mind the visual to jack off with. _On second thought, I will hold off and get that Vampire flesh light thingy I'd seen when looking around the other day…it would make the experience that much more 'real' for me, _I thought with a naughty smirk.

I still had the toy that Edward had placed in my pocket and had made sure I remembered to take it to work.

I was in my office most of yesterday and today and boy did I use it.

Without her knowing.

Even better, I got off to the vision of Edward, his piercings and the hints of ink that had peeked out from his collar to adorn his neck and trailed down his bicep from under his tight shirt to cover his entire arm in an ink sleeve.

With my office door locked and the lights turned off, I'd untucked my shirt after unzipping my pants. Pushing my shirt up my chest, so that it bunched under my chin, I'd eased my pants down and off. After a moment, I'd decided to lose the shirt as well and quickly removed it and laid it over my pants.

I'd dug the toy out of my briefcase along with the small bottle of lube. Squirting a big dollop of the lube into my hand, my dick was already hard when I gripped it and started stroking it, coating it thoroughly.

The moan that escaped me was louder than what I had expected so I jumped up and grabbed the belt from my pants to bite on and rapidly got comfortable again. Slouched down in my chair so that my ass hung slightly off the edge.

I propped my right foot up on my desk, smirking at my sock clad foot that briefly made me think of Tom Cruise. My thoughts immediately went back to Edward when I grabbed the ass in a can however.

_His wild hair._

I lined the ass up over the dripping head of my dick with left hand and moved my lube coated right hand under my leg, so that my fingers were poised at my entrance.

_His pouty red lips and vibrant green eyes._

In one motion, I pushed two fingers up my ass as I slid the toy down over my dick and pushed the buttons to start the "sucking" motion.

"FUCK!" I growled into the leather clamped tightly between my teeth.

_His metal and ink._

I took a deep breath through my nose and withdrew and pushed down again. It didn't take long. Just a few magical minutes.

I came so hard I saw white lights in front of my eyes.

I couldn't wait to get back to that shop.

And to him.

I squirmed against my seat, enjoying the tenderness of my backside caused by the rough fingering I'd given it.

Her whiny voice quickly rectified the situation that was arising in my pants as I'd remembered this afternoon.

"I liked it, but I think I, like, need something with a bit more oomph, if you know what I mean," she smiled at me sweetly.

Were we really discussing this over dinner?

Oh well. I did bring it up.

"Well, how about I go in there at lunch tomorrow and you go in after work? We can choose something for each other and let it be a surprise," I internally cringed as I thought about what she might get me, but if I got there first, I could see Edward on my own and maybe get him to help her choose something that I might actually enjoy.

"That, like, actually sounds like a good idea. I bet Edward could, like, give you some ideas about what a woman likes, he seems to be quite a knowledgeable man," she replied wistfully.

If I cared, I would have gotten jealous, but I was pretty damn sure that Edward knew more about men's bodies than women's.

A man can dream.

_~~~ain't nothin' but mammals~~~_

I finally managed to get someone to cover for me the next day, so I had two hours for lunch and I dashed all the way over to his store.

As I walked in, I could hear him singing again like the first day and I followed his velvety voice as I scanned the store to see where he was.

_Let's talk about sex, baby_

_Let's talk about you and me_

_Let's talk about all the good things_

_And the bad things that may be_

I found him, juggling lube this time.

Damn, I could have stood there all day watching him.

His tight black tee was showing off his lick worthy tats, leaving me to wonder just how much more ink he had, and the tight black jeans showed off his entire lick worthy thigh muscles and ass.

You see where I'm going with this?

Every fucking part of him was lickable or fuckable.

"See something you like?" he voice flittered over to me and I had to drag my eyes away from his ass as he kept shimmying it.

"Oh yeah, I see something I definitely like. You won't catch me saying no in here," I chuckled.

"I was talking about in the _store_, but if you ditch the girl, I won't say no either," he smiled sexily at me, clicking his tongue bar against teeth.

I think I may have whimpered.

Just a little.

Oh hell…a lot.

**A/N: We're whimpering…are you?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Happy Valentine's Day…we love you!**

Chapter 5~

**EPOV**

"I was talking about in the store, but if you ditch the girl, I won't say no either," I smiled at him and I heard him whimper in reply.

He fucking _whimpered_.

Yeah, he had the same effect with me, so don't worry.

I felt my cock twitch in reply to him. Screw that, damn thing jumped up and was all "heeeyyyyy!"

I think they have discovered a secret form of communication.

I had spent the last few days stocking the store and banging out orgasms like they were going out of fashion.

Every one of them to the image of Jasper.

_On his knees with my cock in his mouth._

_Standing in front of me with his cock in MY mouth._

_Bent over the desk in my office._

_Mounted in a swing as I bounced him off my dick._

_Or my favorite, him fucking me while he had a plug in._

And now he was here…in my Den…without the baggage.

"If I could ditch the girl, I would be on your doorstep in a heartbeat, but it doesn't look like that's going to be anytime soon," he huffed as he walked closer to me.

"And why's that?" I asked. I was good at planning. We could put our _heads_ together to _cum_ up with something, I'm sure.

"Damn parents. Well, my mom more than anyone. She set us up and before I knew it, I was getting married. I don't think I even proposed. It just happened one day. Now they're talking about fucking dresses and flowers while I hide out in the office at work," he huffed as he sat on the floor by my feet.

"How old are you?" I asked with a smile. I felt sorry for him, I really did.

"Twenty-six and I'm being treated like a four year old by everyone."

"Not by me, I can assure you," I laughed as I sat down next to him. I mean, that shit would just be wrong!

"True…not by you. You seem to be the only one that realizes I'm a grown man. So anyway, let's move on to less depressing shit, tell me more about the great Edward and his wonderful toy store," he smiled at me as he looked round the store.

Honestly, I didn't want to talk, I wanted to fuck him, right here on the floor, but I couldn't.

Damn fucking morals. Where the hell had they come from?

"Not much to tell," I answered with a smirk.

"Bullshit," he laughed and he looked beautiful.

So different than when he was here with Red, ya know...that crazy hyper fraggle on Fraggle Rock. Yeah, I might have babysat for my brother last night.

So care free.

_And_ I wanted him.

I wanted to fuck him, right here, right now.

And I fucking _couldn't._

Can someone remind me why?

"So why are you here today?" I mused out loud as internally I was praying for him to tell me he'd come to his senses and was ready to drop the Barbie wannabe…and pick me up instead.

"Maggie wanted something different and I suggested we come in at different times and get something for each other. And this is the point where I start _begging_ you, on my knees," he said as he moved up onto his knees and clasped his fists together in a prayer form, "please prompt her to get something worthwhile," he pouted and gave me the puppy dog look, enhancing the delicious innocence of his face.

"I like you begging," I laughed.

"I bet you do," he quipped in reply and I stood up, holding my hand out to him, knowing my crotch was level with his face and he could see the state I was in.

"Let's go find something that you _really_ want," I said as I pulled him up from the ground.

_Oh, should I point out that I didn't let go of his hand?_

I was a sneaky little fucker when I needed to be. And fuck if his hand didn't fit perfectly in mine.

Once we were over by the men's area again, I stayed mostly quiet, humming along with Salt-n-Pepa as I let him look and ponder over what he would want her to get. Besides, I was enjoying the view of his backside, collecting some mental snapshots for later.

Then I made my move.

"So what were you thinking for, when you are on your own, or –_insert gag here_ – when you are with Maggie?" I asked as I stood slightly behind him, inching my way into his 'bubble'.

I looked down and saw his bitable ass and I had to use all my strength not to kneel behind him and take a delicious chunk out of it.

Would it be wrong to just thrust my hips against his ass like I desperately wanted to do?

Yes, I have a one track mind…get over it!

"If I could get away with it, I would get something to use on my own, but I doubt she'll go for that," he replied huskily.

_Oh yeah, he knew what I was doing._

"And what would you get to use if you were on your own?" I whispered thickly into the shell of his ear.

"That," he moaned as he pointed towards the PicoBong TANO Plug Vibe.

"Mmm, that is a good choice," I replied as I looked at the toy. "Smooth and ergonomic, it will feel amazing once inside. Twelve amazing vibrating functions and multi speeds using the easy to use control interface. Just think how it will feel…you on your knees, squeezing your cheeks together and rocking back and forth as it hits that sweet spot," I crooned in his ear as his head fell back onto my shoulder and I softly gripped his hips, pulling him back and closing that last little bit of distance between us.

I knew he could feel my hardness poking his ass. Neither of us moved or even breathed. I'd made my move, now it was his turn.

He finally turned around to face me and all I could see was fire in his eyes. He wanted this…he wanted me.

_Oh would you look at that, a wall was right next to us._

Before I even finished that thought, I had him up against it.

Morals be damned.

I could plead insanity.

My lips quickly attached themselves of their own accord to his neck as my hands pinned his wrists to the wall.

My cock was screaming at me to let it play seven seconds in heaven with Jasper's as I ground it against his.

"Jesus H Christ," he groaned out as he thrust forward.

I take it his cock wanted a play date too.

"Fuck it to hell, kiss me, Edward, _please_, just fucking do it," he whimpered as I sucked on the sensitive skin behind his ear.

I dropped one of his wrists and moved to face him. He didn't have to ask me twice.

"My pleasure, babe," I whispered as I kissed him…hard.

I could have come on the spot when I let my tongue bar move against his teeth.

But that's not the thing I loved _most_.

Oh hell no.

His free hand _magically_ found itself on my ass cheek, his fingers digging in forcefully as I rocked my hips.

Mmm, dry humping at its best.

I groaned as his fingers dug and was rewarded with his tongue plunging into my mouth.

How can someone taste manly and sweet at the same time? His taste...mocha and caramel and I don't know...it was just delicious and I greedily sucked on his tongue trying to get more.

**JPOV**

I'd laid my cards out for Edward the last time I was here and he was definitely playing with me. The heat radiating off of him against my back was scorching and making it hard to breathe. Then he had to go and thrust against me, teasing me with what I so badly wanted...but couldn't have.

I was engaged to be married for fucks sake.

Why hadn't I just put my foot down and refused them? That's right, I was living under a constant barrage of guilt.

_Why? I'm a grown man...they can't run my life,_ I thought as I suddenly spun around to face what I _really _wanted...Edward.

Everything after that happened so fast, him grinding against me, me begging, him pinning me and then finally we were tasting each other.

And it was the best fucking thing I'd ever had in my life.

And I wanted more.

So much so, that I couldn't resist pulling him to me and grinding back as we got lost in each other.

I relished in the control he was taking over me. My dick swelling and straining to break free. My mind became a clouded haze and I missed the door chiming and Edward pulling away from me.

"Jasper...close your mouth. We'll pick this up later, let's get you checked out so I can see to this other customer," his words were breathy and his eyes were dark.

I knew he was just as disappointed as me that we had to put a stop to this.

For now.


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: She owns them, but we have more fun with them!**

**A/N: So glad everyone enjoyed their little Valentine's surprise...thank you for all the reviews that came in on the last chapter...even though you greedy whores just asked for more! LOL. This one is a little longer than normal, but hopefully will answer some of your questions?**

**Oh...and we had to share this review...cause it made us laugh...hard. You've got to love autocorrect~**

**Thank you for the extra update!**

**I loved this glad the boys got some time without the annoyance that is maggot**

**(I mean maggie but my phone changed it...I think appropriately too!)**

Chapter 6

**MPOV ***gag*

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party_

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world_

_Dress me up, make your time, I'm your dolly_

_You're my doll, rock 'n' roll, feel the glamor and pain_

_Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky_

I applied my shocking pink, with added glitter, lipstick in the compact mirror as I stood outside Edward's store, the song I'd been listening to in the car still bouncing around in my head.

Mmm, Edward.

Swoon or what!

And I knew he liked me too.

I wasn't stupid you know, like, I saw the way he looked at me and winked.

And I think since Jasper wasn't with me today, he would, like, do something, ya know?

I jumped at the chance to get to the store without him around because I was hoping that Edward and I could, like, have some fun.

I knew I should have felt bad for Jasper, but I just didn't.

He made my skin, like, crawl.

I mean, like, he's nice to look at and all, but he just fumbles around with me.

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was, like, gay or like, totally allergic to vaginas or something.

Like, that was a silly thought of course, because he, like, fucked me and stuff.

And he must have liked it because he came.

I didn't, but Edward soon got that sorted out for me.

Edward.

That man was like sex on fucking legs and I just knew that we could get up to, like, stuff.

And I was only with Jasper for one thing, and that was not, like, sex.

I wanted his family, his money. Like, ya know?

Momma always said to use myself to the best of my ability, so I got, like, proper friendly and such with his momma and now me and him are, like, getting married.

As soon as his parents kick the bucket, which shouldn't be too long looking at how old they are, we would be quids in and I could, like, divorce his ass.

So I have Jasper for money and, like, hopefully Edward for the sex and fun times.

Win win I say.

**EPOV**

Maggie came in just after five today and I decided to call it Operation Go-Ho.

Ooo, I liked the sound of that.

Okay, so she wasn't a whore or anything, but I needed a name and that came to mind.

After Jasper left with her new toy, the string of customers had continued, leaving me with a severe case of blue balls because I couldn't take five fucking minutes to myself.

I was not in the mood to play nice.

So, with the Mission Impossible theme tune running through my head, I began thinking of a way to get Maggie out of Jasper's life.

"Maggie, how good to see you!" I said in an overly enthusiastic tone as she walked in. She gave me a little blush as she walked over to me.

What the fuck was she wearing? 80's Barbie went out of fashion years ago.

It also didn't help that her wild red hair clashed with the pink.

Damn, she was so fucking ugly, when she fell out of the ugly tree, she hit _every_ branch on the way down.

"Hi, Edward," she said shyly.

_Oh, maybe this will be easier than I thought._

"I had Jasper in the store today," _in more ways than one_, I thought, "and he told me about the idea he had," I said as I walked her round the store.

I placed my hand on the small of her back to gently guide her round and I was zapped with a static shock.

_Damn woman, did you know that polyester went out in the 80's? Cotton, wear fucking cotton!_

"Yeah, he, like, totally wants us to buy something for each other. What did he get me?" she said in a hopeful tone that I was happy to expel.

Thank fuck she didn't mention the electric shock.

I knew how women could be about that.

Some men too, believe it or not.

It was a connection… it was meant to be…

_Hell no_, it was cheap clothes and carpet tiles.

They don't go well together.

"I'm not going to tell you that," I chuckled lightly as I thought about her power walking around the block in a shell suit.

"That's not fair," she tried to pout sexily but it looked like a bulldog licking piss off stinging nettles.

Hopefully she will be _so_ out of it by her own orgasm, she won't even care about Jasper, or notice him leaving.

"Would you like me to call up Jasper after you get him something and tell him? It would even out the score," _and give me a chance to try out phone sex with him,_ I thought silently.

"No!" she gasped as she continued to look around.

"Did you have anything in mind?" I asked, almost afraid to see what she might have come up with.

"Not really, I didn't think there were, like, many toys for men, but you've proven me wrong on that," she giggled in a way that should have sounded sensual but she sounded like a squeaky bicycle wheel crossed with a sea lion.

"Oh there are _lots _of things that men like. Rings, clamps, beads, probes," I could have listed a shitload more but she paled and looked like she was going to faint.

"Probes?" she squeaked out.

"Oh yeah, you see, men also have a little pleasure button inside that's similar to a woman's g-spot and when that's stimulated, it makes us rock hard and so turned on," I all but groaned out as I thought about playing with Jasper's after slipping a vibrating ring over his cock.

_Mmm, licking his ass... biting down on the soft flesh as I inserted a new toy to make him squirm... gently pulling his ball sack as I sucked hard on him..._

"Oh I don't know if I could, like, do anything like that," she mumbled, blushing brightly. _Of course you couldn't, you cow. That would mean paying attention to someone else's needs for once._

"That's the beauty of it, you don't _have_ to do anything, just lay back and enjoy what he can give you. Just think of him being harder than you've ever imagined him, fucking you hard and knowing that he is getting so much pleasure as well," I whispered dreamily as I thought about his ass thrusting back into me and vice versa.

"Do _you_ like it?" she matched my whispering tone.

Hook.

"Oh yeah, I love having things in my ass," I smirked as I thought more about him.

I also didn't let on that I was gay. Though, how Red hadn't figured it out yet, I couldn't be sure. I mean come on, I wasn't exactly what you would call subtle.

Saying that, I think she must have been the only woman in the city who had a minus IQ score.

"So what would you, like, suggest?" she asked quietly.

Line.

"Definitely this," I said as I reached towards the toy that Jasper had grabbed earlier.

"Can I at least, like, have it in pink to, like, match the décor of the room?"

And sinker.

"Of course you can." I so wanted to roll my eyes.

**JPOV**

I was floating all the way back to work.

If I was being honest with myself, if you'd given me an umbrella, I'd be fuckin' Mary Poppins in the fuckin' clouds.

Edward had seriously screwed with my head.

Oh and before I _do_ get all befuddled and flustered with thoughts of Edward, I got Maggie a Hitachi vibrator wand contraption thing with a fuckton of different attachments.

In pink.

Knowing her she would get her _Bedazzler _on it later so she can make it 'hers'.

I didn't give a shit really, but the further she was from me, the safer I would feel.

The rest of the day went by smoothly and I even had time to knock one out while on a break.

Damn Edward and his cock blocking skills.

And those damn lips.

And his hands.

Also, let's not forget the fucking bar in his tongue.

God, I could not _wait_ for the day when I would feel that _elsewhere_.

And it would come, the day would come when we both shared our deep love for ass.

I had just one little concern… _Maggie_. I felt guilty that I now knew there was no way I could go through with this marriage thing. Not with her anyways. Mom was going to be heartbroken and I knew that was going to eat at me. I just went with it because I didn't really think it would matter to me, didn't think I would ever find what I really wanted.

And I felt like I owed it to them for taking me in...not turning me over to the system.

Yes, I needed to end things with her, but more importantly, Edward said that he had a way of helping me to do that.

He just wouldn't tell me.

I was slightly nervous by the time I got home at just gone seven.

Don't judge me; you'd feel nervous too if you had to face what I had to every day.

Maggie was already home and I wondered what Edward had sold her.

I did beg him not to let her get something too much in the way of 'couple' touching and he readily promised me. He didn't like the idea of my having to touch her any more than I did.

I just dreaded to think what she had gotten me. Let's face it, Edward was a great salesman, but Maggie, well, she was as stubborn as they came.

This is the woman who taped down the toilet seat, got an automatic toothpaste dispenser and banned me from shaving over the sink because she wanted a pristine bathroom in _MY_ home!

I noticed straight away that it was eerily quiet in the house and that she wasn't downstairs, so with the bag in my hand, I made my way up to our room.

She had only moved in a few weeks ago and it was already a sickening shade of Barbie pink with bedding to match.

And when I say bedding, I meant killer sheets, and not in a good way.

Honestly, when has satin ever been sexy? You slide into one side of the bed and right out the other side. And let's not forget how you wake up in the night because the pillows you were resting your head on were now on the floor!

"In here, baby," she called out as I reached the top step.

How the fuck did she _do_ that?

Freaky bloody women.

I found her in the bedroom, in just her black lace thong, sitting on the bed.

_Hurl._

Honestly, I really needed to talk to her and my parents; I couldn't go through with this.

Not after kissing and dry humping Edward today, no way.

I wanted him.

I needed him.

I wanted to fuck him.

I wanted him to fuck me.

I wanted to feel his steel hard cock in me.

His fingers digging into my skin.

His hot breath fanning over me.

Just as I put the bag down on the bed, I got a text.

_Make her cum over and over, then when she's asleep, call me. E_

**A/N: This is where we duck and hide and tell you we'll see you next Monday! Of course, leaving love might get you a sneak peek at next week's chapter…**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: That Stephenie chick technically owns them, but it's nice to share isn't it? We're not asking for any money…just your amusement at the antics we get these two up to!**

**A/N: Howdy! Welcome back…and guess what? This is a Maggie free chapter…with some lemon juice! Along with a little bit of heavy…not too much…just enough to move the story along. Oh…and we've got lesbians **

**Yeah, we know, 'shut up and let us read.' One last thing…there's big news at the bottom…**

Chapter 7

**EPOV**

"_Let me lick you up & down_

_Til you say stop_

_Let me play with your body baby_

_Make you real hot_

_Let me do all the things you want me to do_

_'Cause tonight baby,_

_I wanna get freaky with you_

_Baby don't you understand_

_I wanna be your nasty man_

_I wanna make your body scream_

_Then you will know just what I mean…"_

"I wish you would lick me," a voice from behind me broke through my singing.

"You were supposed to call me," I pouted without turning around in my chair.

I was sat in the office sulking.

And I was very good at it.

I had spent years giving crocodile tears to my parents and sulking after Alice broke my toys.

"Yes, I was, but neither of us banked on the fact that little orgasm-aholic decided to drink three cans of Red Bull and a liter of Mountain Dew in preparation for last night," he huffed loudly as he walked round to the other side of the desk.

"On the plus side though, she _wouldn't_ let me touch her," he laughed as he sat down on the edge of the desk with his legs spread just enough to give me a perfect view at the bulge between his thighs.

Oh dear lord, what I would do to him on the desk if she wasn't in the fucking picture.

Morals had come back to bite me on the ass and not in the way I liked. Why had my parents raised me to give me a shit?

"Why don't you just tell her, Jasper?" I asked, still pouting like a three year old.

"And how should I do that? 'Oh hey babe, I can't marry you because you don't have the right anatomy to go where the sun don't shine, literally, so it's not you, it's me'. I don't think that will go down well to be honest," he chuckled lightly and even I had to give in at the thought of him saying something like that.

"True, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be," I wiggled my brows and bucked my ass up out of the chair at him and he playfully swatted my arm. "Chill out, baby, no kinky shit until we have sex at least once," I laughed.

"Don't tease," he laughed back and then we fell into silence for a minute as the heaviness of the topic sank in.

"You know Jasper, even if I wasn't in the picture…you shouldn't be going through with this. The walk down that aisle is going to be your trek straight into fucking hell, literally. The whole thing will be a farce. You're a gay man for fuck's sake!" I growled, angry at the whole damn situation.

His eyes became distant and slightly watery at the corners. "I know Edward. I…I just need some time. It's…the whole thing is so fucked up and you just don't understand," he whispered.

"You could try me. I'm pretty sure I can keep up."

I could feel his gaze searing into me. "To summarize the situation, my grandparent's took me in when I lost my parents. If they hadn't, I would've ended up in the system. Instead, I grew up not wanting for anything and having the best of everything because of them. I think Ma has an inkling of my true nature and that's why she's pushed Maggie on me. They're really old, Edward. I think, because of that, I just didn't fight it when it happened. Figured I'd go along with it to keep them happy in their final days. But fuck me if this engagement hasn't breathed new life into her..."

The man before me was worth the fight and I would give him all the time he needed. I nodded my understanding and gave him a quick hug, secretly inhaling the intoxicating aroma of his manliness. Feeling my cock hardening, I moved away.

"Coffee?" I offered, and scurried off when he accepted.

We shared a quick coffee together before he had to get back to work and I was a very good boy and kept my distance.

I didn't kiss him.

Grope him.

Or fuck him.

So I was still pouting.

I didn't see him again for three days and when he finally walked in the door at closing time, I wanted to pounce on him.

He was wearing thin sweats and a wife beater and was _dripping _with sweat.

Oh God, I was desperate to run my tongue through all that moisture.

"What on earth are you up to?" I asked as he bent over, resting his hands on his knees.

Oh boy, with that angle, I could do so many things to him.

"I told Maggie I was taking up jogging to keep up with her. That new toy of hers is amazing but deadly. Hours, Edward, I'm talking hours! On the plus side though, she's so spent after playing with it that I don't have to go near her. I think you have caused her an addiction," he laughed as he got his breath back and I walked over to him.

"If the addiction keeps her away from my man, then don't expect me to apologize," I laughed as I came face to face with him.

I wanted him and needed him.

I wanted him in my mouth, his scent, his taste.

"Your man, eh?" he asked huskily and I realized that that was what I'd said. Shit. I can't put that pressure on him...time to distract him...

"Mhmm, there's just something about you and sweat that has me rock hard, baby," I crooned into his ear and I felt him shudder deliciously.

"Edward," he whined out into the store.

I ignored his plea as I moved to stand behind him, my fingers digging into his perfect hips.

"You know what to do, Jasper," I laughed as I backed away from him. So much for not pressuring him, but come on, could you help yourself?

"Bastard," he laughed.

"So tell me," I said, ignoring what he had said, "what toy would you like to use now? Saying that, _where _do you use them, because I bet, well, hope, you don't do it next to her," I mused as I thought about all the places I could take him.

"At home when she isn't there, at work sometimes, and sometimes even down dirt roads on the way home. Depends what mood I'm in and how turned on I am," he admitted freely as he walked up behind me and pushed his erection into my ass. "Normally I do it in my car when I leave here. You leave me so hot and bothered," he whispered into my ear and it was my turn to shiver.

"I want you bent over your chair, you taking me over your desk, up against the walls in here where you have all these toys to hand," he all but growled as I pushed my ass back onto him.

"Don't tease me, I swear to God you won't like my actions if you do," I warned, somewhat jokingly, as I walked away from him and grabbed a new toy that I had ordered in.

Just for him.

"I want you to call me later, I don't care where you are or if Snuffy is next to you, I want you to call me, and I want you to be wearing this when you do, no matter how late it is," I handed over the toy to him and left him standing in the middle of the store as I walked away.

I had some needs to attend to and if I was within a mile of him, there was no telling what my actions would be.

"Edward!" he shouted after my retreating form.

With a cruel smirk, I half turned towards him. "Go home, Jasper. Get cleaned up and call me tonight...no matter what," I instructed as I blew him a kiss and walked into the back of the store.

I watched him on the store-cam that I had set up back there for when I was working with the stock off the floor. He was rather cute as his chest continued to heave. I didn't think it was from his jog anymore.

Nope. If the gun he stuck against my ass was any indication, he was as solid and horny as I was at this moment.

I felt bad...for all of about ten seconds. Turnabout is fair play. He did leave me hanging last night. I had stayed up until three this morning waiting for his call.

Nobody has to know I was choking my bird most of that time.

I fingered my nipples through the tight cotton against my chest. Loving the feel of the steel as I tugged on the rings. Keeping my eyes on the cam, and thereby Jasper, I let a hand drop down to the elastic waist of my cargo shorts.

Fuck fashion...they were comfortable! And clean.

My dick found its way into my hand, the tip already slick from the leakage that always happened when Jasper was around lately. I stroked it a few times, trying to convince myself not to call out, not to encourage him to come running.

Because if he came back here right now, I wouldn't be responsible.

With bittersweet disappointment, I watched him walk out of the store with his hand hanging down. Poor guy.

If he followed through tonight, I'd make sure he was well rewarded.

Right, I had a problem in hand...literally.

Checking the camera one more time to ensure there were no customers I'd missed, I yanked my shorts down to my knees.

My dick bobbed at me as if to say 'Reporting for duty, Sir!' and I couldn't be rude now could I? So I reached out to shake hands...head...whatever. I gripped my crank and shook it firmly.

Keeping my attention partially on the camera, I started stroking quickly. Long and slow had its place.

A quickie in the store room was not it.

A spit-n-shine would have to do.

And do, it did. After spitting in my palm and using a steady but rapid pace, I was soon angling my dick over the cum bucket I'd set up back here once he started coming around, grunting as the thick goo escaped me and pinged against the container.

Kinda looked like silly string.

I heard the bell ding and glanced at the cam...a couple of women had just walked in. I'd give them a few minutes to look around while I cleaned up.

A quick rinse of the bucket in the sink ensured no babies would mysteriously crawl out of it. I was about to leave the room when I glanced at my backup toy box and shivered at the idea of bringing Jasper back here.

My traitorous soldier began to report for duty once again and I knew I couldn't spend the day like this so I rummaged in the chest, finding just what I needed.

It was apt really, if you thought about it.

I locked my dick into the Gates of Hell and headed out front to see what I could do for the lesbians.

**A/N: We're getting there people…just a little bit more to go. In fact, next chapter might just have some of what you've been looking for…lol.**

**So…our big news…we have a blog to go with this story now thanks to the talents of JA Mash! It's oh so pretty…and sexy…and definitely not for anyone under 18. We've got pictures. We've got music. We've got the best of the best reviews. Yeah, why don't you go check it out: www . toyward . blogspot . com (remember to take out the spaces).**

**See ya'll next Monday!**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie had her fun, made her millions. Now we are having our fun, meaning no disrespect of course. But come on, ya'll know you're enjoying our version of Jasper and Edward more than in the book!**

**A/N: Thank you for all the great reviews and feedback to the blog from last week! So glad you guys are enjoying the extra goodies to go with the story. JA Mash has been busy with her brushes and has some extra special goodies ready for us to post as we hit the corresponding chapters...one of those being THIS one. Trust me, you'll want to go take a look after you read.**

**Speaking of...we'll just let you get on with it...*whispers* you might need a towel...**

Chapter 8

**JPOV**

I was exhausted.

And sexually frustrated.

Seriously, I felt as though my legs were about to drop off and my balls were going to explode.

I was stupid enough to actually follow through on what I told had Maggie and had jogged from home to Edward's store and back again.

With an erection.

Why wasn't I clever enough to just _tell _her I jogged, but not _actually _do it?

Now I was paying for it, in more ways than one.

"Jazzzy, I _neeeed _it," she purred like a cat with a fur ball lodged in her throat as I got out of the shower.

I was still rock hard, but trust me when I say that it had absolutely _nothing _to do with her.

Maggie was currently lying on the bed spread eagle, wearing something that resembled a scrap of lace that had been hacked to death with a cheese grater.

In shocking pink and white dots no less. _Like, gag me with a silver spoon,_ I shuddered.

If I was being honest, it looked like someone threw up Pepto-Bismol all over her then took target practice at her with marshmallows.

And hungry I was not.

"Maggie, I really don't think I'm up for anything tonight, I'm in agony," I bemoaned and for once I wasn't lying. The jog had kicked my ass and the situation with Edward was reaching a head. If that boy didn't fuck me soon, I was going to explode...in a bad way.

"What is it with you recently? It doesn't matter what I do, you just don't want to, like, get intimate with me," she pouted and I looked away.

It really was a _'it's not you, it's me'_ moment.

"I'm just tired and stressed with work, that's all. Why don't you just enjoy yourself while I go out for a drive to chill out? Hopefully I will be relaxed and pain free when I get home," I said softly as I walked out of the room, leaving her no room for an argument.

Once I got in my car, I turned on the radio, barely containing the groan as the words filling the car teased and taunted me.

_My mind is telling me no but my body, my body's telling me yes_

_I (baby) don't want to hurt nobody_

_But there is something that I must confess... (chill)_

_I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind_

_I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind_

I drove the car to a well-known place I liked to go as a teenager to hang out and once I was there, I nervously got out my phone and turned down the radio.

In all the years that I had been sexually active, I had never had phone sex. That was why I was nervous, not because of Edward.

Edward was someone I could relate to, he was fucking gorgeous, funny, sexy, cute, sexy, well packed, sexy…you get my drift.

I picked up the C shaped toy and a small pouch of lube then dialed his number. I didn't want to put it in until I was on the phone with him and heard his voice. I know he'd said to have it already in when I called, but honestly, I'd been in such a hurry to get away from her that it was all I could do to get out of the house and now that I was so close to sharing some form of intimacy with him, I couldn't wait any longer, I had to hear his voice.

"_Hello, sexy," _he said as soon as he picked up.

"Hi," I replied huskily as I looked at the toy and imagined how it would feel in me. How it would rub against all the sweet spots I had while he talked dirty and told me what he wanted to do to me.

"_Are we alone?" _he asked.

"Y-yes…" my voice trembled with excitement. "I left her at the house…told her I needed to drive…parked up by the Falls…" I rambled.

"_Don't be nervous, baby, just think of this as the first step in the right direction,"_ he purred as I heard rustling noises in the background.

"I'm not nervous," I said quickly. I didn't want him to think I didn't want this.

Fuck, this was _all _I had been thinking about.

It was a turning point for me.

I needed to get rid of Maggie and move on to better things.

Like Edward.

"_I would ask what you're wearing, but I don't need to know that. What I do need to know is if you really want to do this, Jasper, because I am...I'm ready and waiting for you," _he purred huskily down the phone again and I was just about ready to come, literally.

"I want this so much, Edward, and it's driving me insane that we have to do this over the phone and not together," I whimpered as I palmed my erection.

"_Same for me, baby, and as soon as she's out of your life, we'll be there, together. Now get in the backseat for me,"_ he said with a chuckle and I was doing as I was told before I even realized it.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen," I panted and he growled.

Moments later I planted my ass in the backseat, desperate to just rip the sweats from my body and chase down the pleasure that I knew only Edward could give me.

"I'm there," I moaned lightly as I thought about what it would be like to make out in a car with him. The tight, awkward space, pushing our bodies closer together.

"_You sound like you need something, Jasper. Can I guess what it is?"_ he crooned as I whimpered.

He was driving me fucking insane.

"Please!" I cried out as I snaked my fingers below the waist of my sweats and let them lightly graze the tip of my cock.

"_Hmm, I think you need a firm cock in your ass, Jasper, you want to come so hard for me, don't you, baby?"_

"Edward, please, stop talking, for just a moment," I pleaded as I tried to concentrate on anything but his voice. It was so damn hypnotic, sultry and everything else in between and I was ready to blow my load like a fucking teenager.

"_Sorry, baby, I don't want to stay quiet. It's been long enough and I want you to come for me. I want you to feel that thick toy in your ass and remind yourself that I'm ten times better than that. I want you to feel stretched, needy and desperate for me," _he chuckled as I groaned.

He was doing this on purpose.

He was winding me up and there was nothing I could do about it except go along for the ride.

Images flashed in my mind about how he would take me, where, what position. I couldn't hold back the loud moan that escaped and he laughed darkly in response, making my cock jump into my hand.

"Um," I coughed and started again, "it's not in yet," I admitted.

"_What's not in?"_

"The toy, I needed to get out of the house before she convinced me to stay, so I didn't have a chance..."

He cut me off.

"_Bare that ass, Jasper. Get that toy in there, now."_

I was always good at following instructions and this time was no different. I pulled the phone from my ear and put it on speaker before setting it by the headrest and then yanked my sweats down to my knees.

Turning around so that I was on my knees facing the back of the car, I quickly lubed up the toy and slid it home with a throaty 'goddamn.'

As if the sensation of the toy wasn't enough, it just got better when Edward kicked it up a notch and began really talking. The words tumbled from his mouth as I grunted and mumbled incoherently in response while I worked the toy.

He seemed to be moving around, but I blocked out the background noises and for the next however long, I only focused on his voice. His words.

"_Do you like that Jasper?" _I nodded though he couldn't see me.

"_Imagine how much more my cock will stretch that tight hole of yours." _I whimpered and pushed a finger in with the toy, trying to stretch myself further.

"_Jasper, lube your hand, grip your cock and stroke it...slowly...imagine it's my mouth."_

At his last statement, and as I did what he'd asked, my body erupted in a fiery heat as my orgasm began bearing down on me. I'm sure the car was rocking as I was thrusting and jerking between my hands violently.

When the backdoor of the car opened, illuminating the inside, I only had a moment to react, slightly turning my body towards the door, before Edward was rights there, his lips on my lips, telling me, urging me to come for him.

And boy did I come.

In long thick spurts that coated his t-shirt and dribbled down my hand while I cried out into his mouth and he swallowed down my screams.

When my dick finally stopped pulsing, I dropped back onto my heels, extracting my tongue from his and let out a gust of air as I flashed him a dopey smile.

"Holy shit, Edward! I've never come so hard in my life...and you didn't even touch me. I can only imagine..." I stopped talking as my eyes roved over him and I realized just how much of a mess I had made on him. But more than that was the extremely large outline I could see in his sweats.

My mouth immediately flooded with saliva as the need to fill it with what I was seeing overcame me.

Without my saying a word, his sweats slid down to divulge his commando state. Should I have been surprised that his cock was gorgeous, or that it was inked and full of metal?

The first thing I noticed was the intricate tattoo. Done in bright reds, oranges and yellows, purples and blues...his cock was on fire. I snickered as the thought, _he's flaming_, ran through my mind.

The snicker abruptly died as his hand gripped the flames and stroked it a couple of times in front of me and he groaned loudly.

"Oh fuck..." I whimpered softly, my ass clenching on the toy still buried deep within.

He let go of his cock and extended his hand towards me. No sooner had I taken it, then he was pulling me from the car.

I willingly let him.

It was more of a crawl as I exited the car and dropped to my knees in front of him. The air was cool, but not unbearably so. As he pulled his soiled shirt over his head, I could only let my eyes wander, let them take in the masterpiece that was Edward.

His chest was lean and pale in the moonlight along with the light from the car, but oh so chiseled. Not surprisingly, his nipples were pierced, the shiny barbells enticing me.

Also, unsurprisingly, his chest was inked. What was surprising was that it wasn't the wild and crazy fun type of ink he had elsewhere.

Just above his left pectoral, half of a heart, in a tribal style that was shaded mostly in red with hints of black, rested on his flesh. As if bleeding from the heart, the words "If you love someone, set them free..." trailed away from the heart and up towards his shoulder.

My fingers were running softly over the ink as I murmured, "If they come back, they're yours. If they don't, they never were."

He smiled down at me, taking my hand and gently pulling it away from his chest; he kissed my fingertips, letting his moist tongue flick out to lap at them before sucking on them gently. Once I was breathing heavy and my cock was back at full attention, he stopped and guided my hand to his cock.

As soon as I touched him, I forgot about the ink and my own hard on and focused on the shiny bits adorning his thick, rigid shaft.

Jesus, all of that had to have hurt!

But my own cock was throbbing, forcing my attention back to it, and imagining the way all of that would feel inside of me.

A black barbell pierced the head, one of the balls sitting just above his slit, the other just on the underside behind the ridge. I let my finger brush over it and he shuddered, a breathy hiss escaping him.

My hand continued its journey up his cock in a light grip. His skin was so very taut from his erection that each and every vein created a slight ridge that I knew would only add to the sensation, to the pleasure of taking him in.

By the time my fingertips reached the base of him, I'd played with the three bars he had laddered along the topside right where his thick shaft met the toned V of his abs. Half of each bar was embedded below the skin, leaving just the ends poking free where the tiny colored balls, that would bring so much pleasure, screwed on.

Candy was one word that came to mind, quickly followed by lyrics from the song and had me grinning happily.

_This stuff is starting now, It's the same feeling_

_I always seem to get around you_

_There's no mistaking, I'm clearly taken_

_By the simple mere thought of you, oh_

I risked a glance up at him as I curved my hand under him, preparing to fondle his ball sack. He had a glimmer of amusement in his eyes as he watched me explore him. My eyes went wide when I felt the metal below and he laughed.

"Jesus, Edward! Is there anywhere that you are not pierced?"

"I've considered getting my asshole done, but haven't yet," he answered with a straight face.

Well, it was straight until I pinched one of the hoops in his balls and rolled it between my fingers, tugging gently on it, then his eyes closed and his head dropped back in ecstasy as he croaked out a 'shit.'

Time for exploring was over for now.

I opened my mouth and leaned forward, closing over him and moaning as I felt every ridge, every piece of metal glide over my tongue.

I was home. This was what made me happy.

And I let him know it with every slurp, every swirl of my tongue, every hollowed out pull of my lips.

I was tender. Licking him teasingly in between long slow pulls of my hand and firm suckles on his engorged head. He was so swollen that his barbell had almost disappeared into his flesh, leaving only the bulbous beads exposed. I enjoyed nipping at the beads, letting my teeth sink behind them in turn as I tugged.

When he bucked in reaction to my playing with his piercing, his cock slid half way into my willing mouth and we both groaned. My own hips were bucking against the night air, chilled at the tip where I was leaking. Desperate for more, I worked my ass against the blue invasion, clenching my muscles and releasing them as I dropped a hand from his thigh to begin stroking myself.

"Fuck Jasper! Are you? Goddamn you are...work your cock, baby. Work it for me. You are so fucking sexy on your knees, my cock in your mouth...shit..." he was babbling and thrusting in and out of my mouth. Both of us picked up speed, me fucking my hand as he fucked my mouth.

When his long fingers threaded into my hair and tightened, pulling me all the way down his length until my nose could sniff his skin, glistening with perspiration, I stroked faster and harder. My angle had shifted as he pulled me down and suddenly the toy was pressing against my prostate, applying an unrelenting firm pressure. He held my head in place and began to fuck my mouth in earnest.

_Oh to feel him pummeling my ass like this! _

That thought was my undoing, and for the second time in an hour, I was spurting over my hand and onto the ground.

His control was unfathomable. He was resisting coming and that shit wasn't going down with me. I wanted to drink him. I wanted to catch him when he fell apart and crashed.

Taking my come covered fingers, I snaked my hand between his thighs and stroked over his crack. He understood my silent request and slid his feet further apart as he dropped into a slight squat, granting me access.

My fingers slid in with no resistance. Two, then three, were greedily sucked in by his ass.

I became rough. Following his lead. He was still thrusting into my mouth, his head in the back of my throat as he ground against my hand and I pumped in and out to meet him.

_Come on, sugar...let go, give it to me, _I silently begged with my thoughts as I pushed all the way down his shaft one more time, just as I pushed my fingers in as far as they could go and flicked my tongue against the piercings behind his balls.

"Oh my Goooddddd! Jasper...so good...so...can't hold it anymore...gonna..." one of his hands gripped the hair on the back of my head, pulling me impossibly closer to him as his other hand rests heavily on my shoulder, pushing me further down onto the toy as he supported his weight through his orgasm.

My eyes teared as he emptied into my throat.

Not from pain.

From happiness.

**A/N: *coughs* Soooo...was it as good for you as for them? Don't forget the blog...in case you need an actual visual for the "masterpiece." Hehe...**

**www . toyward . blogspot . com**

**See everyone next Monday...if you want a teaser before then, you know what to do. **


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: Nope, not ours, but we've all been taught to share our toys, right?**

**A/N: ** Just a reminder, if your PM's are disabled, we can't reply and unfortunately there have been some good reviews that so deserved a response, but alas, you were disabled. One in particular from Ch 8 questioned Edward's mention of an asshole piercing and if it was possible. Darlin'...ANYTHING's possible these days! But seriously, when we were googling pics to decide how to adorn our dear Edward, yes, we saw pierced assholes and just HAD to write that in!

Okay, that being said, another quick reminder...if you're under 18...please don't make us responsible for your corruption. We can't stop you from reading, obviously, just don't tell us you are!

Layne Faire got an early peak at this chapter as Thursday was her birthday...hope ya'll enjoy it as much as she did!

So, are we ready for a bit of a shift in the story? Hmmm... Well, this chapter has some lemon juice, some laughs, and *gasps* a pinch of heavy...hope you enjoy!

**MPOV**

Edward had been distracted the last couple of times I'd come in, so, like, I was hoping today he wouldn't be, or if he was, I could help channel a few things, like, with me.

The toys he'd suggested were, like, fine and all. But I was needing some, like, real dick. Especially since Jasper suddenly had been keeping his from me. He hadn't even gotten back from his drive last night before I'd fallen asleep. And he was gone before I got up this morning.

Though I could tell he'd been home. The bathroom had still been, like, steamy when I'd gone in to do my morning business.

Anyways, like, whatever. I'd come prepared. Edward wouldn't be able to tell me no. I just knew once he got a good look at me, he'd be all over me like white on rice.

We were, like, perfect for each other. I liked sex and he owned a sex shop. As I said, it was, like, a match made in heaven.

I got out of the car and straightened my skirt, what there was of it. As an afterthought, I looked around the parking lot real quick and when I was sure I was alone, I shimmied out of my panties and stuffed them in my purse.

Looking in the window of the car, I liked my reflection. My pink skirt, dotted with Hello Kitty heads, went perfectly with my white tube top and white heels. I applied some more of my cotton candy flavored lip gloss, adjusted my boobs, fluffed my hair and headed inside.

The pretty bell chimed as I entered and my eyes scanned the space for Edward. The sound system, which seemed to be up louder than normal, was filling the space with a song, that if, like, I didn't know better, I'd have, like, thought Edward was playing just for me.

_S is for the simple need._

_E is for the ecstasy._

_X is just to mark the spot,_

_Because that's the one you really want._

_(Yes!) Sex is always the answer, it's never a question,_

_'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answers (Yes)_

_Not just a suggestion, if you ask the question,_

_Then it's always yes. Yeah!_

Was he, like, expecting me?

"Hello? Edward?" I called out as I swayed my hips in time to the music. When I got no answer, I assumed he was in the bathroom or something so I started wandering around to wait for him.

Off to the side, I came across what seemed to be a display that he was in the middle of setting up. What caught my eye and brought a grin to my face was the big pink bouncy ball thing. With a large rubber dick sticking straight up from the top of it.

Did I, like, dare?

It looked too good to pass up the opportunity.

Glancing around real quick, I could see the packaging laying off to the edge, so I think it was safe to assume it had just come out of the box and was clean, like, right?

"Edward?" I called out again, a little louder. When I still got no answer, I walked over to the ball, looked around one more time and then lifted my skirt. I bet he's, like, watching me on his surveillance camera!

I straddled over the dick and sank down onto it, letting out a loud groan as it filled me up. I was a little wobbly on the ball because of my heels, but quickly caught on that if I bounced a little it wasn't so bad and actually felt pretty good.

Edward was going to be so, like, surprised to come out from the office and find me ready to take him!

A few more minutes passed as I leisurely ground on the ball, feeling myself, like, really getting worked up. As my heart pulsed and my nipples hardened, I knew if he didn't, like, show up soon, I was going to cum without him.

Then the dick came to life. Literally. Out of nowhere it started vibrating and spinning inside of me.

And then the door chimed, announcing a customer.

I started screaming out my orgasm as a good looking man in pressed khaki's and a stylish pink plaid Ralph Lauren Polo shirt stared at me, his mouth agape.

At the same time, Edward came running out into the store from the back, yelling, "What the fuck?"

When Jasper appeared behind Edward, his shirt partially buttoned and his face flushed, I could only think the exact same thing.

I didn't get a chance to say it though because as I twisted to take in my audience, my heel snagged and the ball suddenly popped and I found myself on my ass, impaled on a still vibrating dildo, while three men, like, gawked at me.

**EPOV**

Even though I'd overslept, thanks to my late night with Jasper, I was in a fantastic mood today. Also thanks to my late night with Jasper.

Last night was certainly on my 'top ten list of best nights ever'. And to think, we hadn't even fucked! But his mouth, oh lord have mercy on my soul, his mouth!

There had been a small line at the coffee shop, but not enough to bother me...I'd had my memories to keep me occupied.

I also had the fact that he'd promised to come see me at the shop today, so of course it was going to be a good day.

Throwing the latest Nickleback album into the CD player, I'd gone about opening the store. A new delivery had come in so I focused on unpacking the few boxes. Most of it was just restocking, but there was a new product as well.

I'd ordered three of the Hot Seat Inflatable Cushion Vibes, two to have on the shelf and one to actually inflate and have on display.

The thing was a hideous bright pink, but it was marketed towards women, so I could live with it. It would certainly catch customer's attention! I set about opening it and had just finished getting it inflated when the door chimed.

Pocketing the remote that came with the toy, I spun around to see my man with a big dopey grin on his face.

"Morning Jasper," I rasped at him, hungrily looking over him. No Armani today. No, today he was my sexy cowboy. Tight jeans that hugged every curve, what looked to be a soft flannel plaid shirt in black and blue, making his eyes sparkle and pop and cowboy boots finished the look.

Yeah, his eyes weren't the only thing popping.

"Good morning, Edward. You seem full of energy today, did you have a good night?" he asked playfully, moving towards me sensually.

"Hmmm...you know I did, baby," I purred back as I closed the distance between us and our lips crashed together briefly before they parted and our tongues were swirling around each other.

Before we got too heated and my head got too fuzzy to give a fuck, I broke away with a gasp. He started to question me, but I just shushed him, grabbed his hand and pulled him back to my office.

I locked the door, turned the volume on the sound system up...just in case whatever sounds we were about to make needed to be concealed...and attacked him.

He offered no resistance as I pressed him to the door and captured his mouth again. My tongue explored every accessible part of his mouth until we both needed air and then I pulled back. Only to move to his neck and to his Adam's apple which I sucked, licked and nipped on as I started unbuttoning his shirt.

He grabbed at my hips roughly and we were briefly interrupted by a clatter on the floor. Glancing down, we laughed at the hot pink remote.

"Edward, I've got enough pink to deal with at home, do I have to have it surround me here too?" he panted against me.

"No pink, got it!" I said as I kicked the remote so that it slid across the floor and hit the leg of the desk. It buzzed and a light blinked but I didn't think anything of it...I had a Jasper to eat.

With the upper part of his shirt open, I nuzzled under the fabric to suck one of his nipples into my mouth as he grabbed my hair and pulled me against him.

I was just starting to work on his zipper when we heard a loud scream from out in the shop.

Dammit, I hadn't heard the bells chime over the music!

I gave him a quick peck on the lips as I mumbled 'sorry' and then ran out into the store.

I wanted to turn around and go lock myself back in my office.

Eric, a fairly regular customer who was pretentious and snobby, stood just inside the door. I couldn't quite make out the look on his face...awe, horror, lust?

When I followed his gaze, I know mine was one of horror.

It was Maggie.

Maggie fucking my display with her head tossed back like that scene in _When Harry Met Sally_. She looked like a crazed wild animal going in for the kill. Her red bushy hair was going all over the place as she cried out in what I assumed had to be an orgasm.

That was a sight I could have gone my whole life without seeing.

"What the fuck?" I yelled.

I was actually embarrassed, which never happened to me, because of Eric witnessing this. I was disgusted by Red helping herself to my display. And while I'd been sporting a huge hard on just moments before, I was now feeling a raging case of blue balls as my dick shriveled up at the sight before me.

A grinding noise actually drew my gaze between her wide spread legs and I realized that the remote had activated when I kicked it. I also realized that the woman had no concept of landscaping.

She wiggled and there was a loud pop followed by an even louder thud as she landed on her ass, the toy deflating rapidly thanks to her cheap Louboutin knock offs.

I can only plead insanity for my next action.

I doubled over in laughter, choking as I tried to breathe. "Oh Jesus fuck, Jasper! THAT's what you have to hike through?"

She was desperately trying to dislodge herself from the dildo, but kept stopping as her eyes rolled back and moans tumbled out of her with each shift of her body.

I looked to Jasper and he seemed to be paralyzed.

"Jasper? Say something..." I shook him gently and his eyes regained life as he looked around the room.

He threw his head back and started laughing uncontrollably. "Yeah, it is...how fucked up is that?" he cried. "How fucked up is this whole situation?" Something in his voice was off.

"What is wrong with you two?" Eric suddenly found his voice as he scolded us and rushed to Maggie's side, offering her a hand to help her up. "You should never leave a damsel in distress, especially one as lovely as this."

Upright now, she cocked her head to the side as she looked at Eric. She said a quiet thank you to him, scowled at Jasper and me and ran out of the store.

Not surprisingly, Eric was right behind her.

**A/N: **So yeah. Everyone getting that visual and NOT spitting out their drink? Next couple of chapters will be a wee bit rougher, but necessary. Just bear with us!

Last week's spotlight reviews and pics from this chapter will be up on the blog shortly.

So, some quick charity announcements that we are both signed up for:

**Fandom4Children **deadline is approaching…April 10 **fandom4children . blogspot . com**

**Fandom4Autism**~ we are going to do an outtake from this story! Deadline to donate is May 25 **fandoms4autism . blogspot . com**

**Fandom 4 Ovarian Cancer (on behalf of Mina Rivera)~** TER is doing on EPOV outtake from This Old House and TB will be doing an Edward/Carlisle story with a big twist called Hidden Desires! Deadline to donate is May 31 **fandomformina . blogspot . com**

We both hope that you can spare a little to give to any or all of these causes. The autism one in particular has a personal meaning to TER as one of her children is an autistic child. Thank you.

**Until next Monday…**

_Sexy can I, hit it from the front,_

_then I hit it from the back._

_know you like it like that._

_then we take it to the bed, then we take it to the floor_

_then we chill for a second, then we back at it some more_

_Sexy can I, just pardon my manners._


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: We know these characters originally bloomed in Stephenie Meyer's head…can we help it if they were so delicious they made other parts of our anatomy bloom?**

**A/N: **Wow, talk about a warm reception...you guys need to be scolded by Eric for taking such delight in Maggie's predicament last week. Oh who are we kidding, we were practically peeing ourselves writing that chapter! Not too much more to say, other than we warned you last week...next few chaps are treading through angsty waters, but we'll try to keep everyone on the humor float as best as possible.

**Important note at the bottom…**

Chapter 10

**JPOV **

"I… Erm, yeah, I have no idea what to do about all of that," I mumbled with humor as the door slammed shut behind them and we were left just standing there.

No word of a lie, I had no idea what I found the funniest.

How she was dressed.

What the hell she was doing on that sex toy.

Finding her flailing around on said sex toy.

The man's abrupt rant at us or the last bit.

Did he understand what the fuck was going on between Edward and myself?

It just all came to a head and I found myself propped up against Edward's body as I belted out continuous peals of laughter like a little girl.

By the end of my laughing fit, I had tears streaming down my face and Edward was trying so hard to compose himself that I laughed even harder.

What a fucked up day!

"Are you quite finished?" he asked with a broad smirk on his face, his green eyes sparkling from the tears that had gathered from laughing so hard. He was more beautiful in that moment than any other time I'd seen him. Then he flicked that damn bar against his teeth, the sound going to straight to my cock and sobering me immediately.

"I think so," I said not at all seriously as I took in a deep breath.

"I can't believe that just happened in the shop. Did she really? Did she just fuck herself on my new display?" his smirk turned to a grimace as we looked at the now ruined corner of the shop. Not only was the deflated toy still squirming about, the cardboard display stand had fallen down and flyers littered the floor.

"I think you need to get in a cleaning service," I murmured as the reality of the whole mess came washing down on me.

"Jasper, what's wrong?"

Dammit! Why do I care? Why do I let _them_ dictate my happiness?

Why was I about to do this?

I lifted my gaze to him, all laughter now gone. "I've got to go, Edward. Until we've officially ended things, I just...I just can't let her run off like that. She's got to be embarrassed right now. And I don't know why I even give a shit..."

His arms enclosing around me from behind stopped my rambling. I felt his nose skim along the back of my neck and I closed my eyes, allowing myself another moment to relish in the feel of him before pulling away.

I turned in his arms, gathering him up in mine in return and we were silent as we clutched desperately at each other.

"I've got to go," I whispered against his ear.

He nodded and whispered back, "I know."

His simple acceptance pierced straight through my chest, stabbing my heart.

Our mouths found each other and we shared a tender kiss filled with silent promises. No tongue was used, yet it was the most powerful kiss I'd had with him to date.

He released me and took a step back. The look on his face just about brought me to my knees as I walked backwards toward the door, keeping my eyes on him until the last possible second before I mouthed 'I'll call you,' and walked out.

**EPOV **

As soon as he vanished through the door, my hand clutched at my chest where I knew the words that painted my skin were. A silent reminder that I had done this before and I could do it again, though the last time I let my bird fly, he never came back.

The bells finished chiming.

I sighed deeply, not knowing what the hell was going on and not wanting to analyze it at this moment. I got to work with cleaning up the mess that Snuffy had left behind.

I made sure I got out the rubber gloves and saw nothing sexual in them as I grabbed the trash can and started loading it.

How the fuck had we gone from nearly catching my office on fire from the heat of our lust to practically pissing our pants with laughter to...this?

For the first time, in a very long time, I had no smile in me. I had no desire to play with my toys, dance or sing.

I stood and went to the door, and got nauseous as I saw them in the parking lot by her car. She was fisting his shirt with one hand, the other flailing around as I assumed she was yelling at him. The whole time he just stood there, his shoulders slumped, his head down as he let her berate him.

I was just about to say 'fuck it' and go running out there to put a stop to all of it when Eric stepped out of the shadows, his hands coming to rest on Maggie's shoulders. He leaned in against her ear and Jasper raised his head, a look of confusion on his face.

I wished I could hear what was being said, but remained where I was until Jasper walked away, leaving them there talking. He folded his long limbs into his car and as he pulled away, my head fell forward against the glass. I dragged my fingers up to the lock, flipped it and turned off the light for the OPEN sign. I tugged down the shade and made my way back to my office.

And to the bottle of tequila that was stored in the bottom left hand drawer of my desk.

**MPOV**

Like, I'd never been so embarrassed in my life! And the nerve of Jazzy to stand there and laugh at me like that! So much for my plans of, like, seducing Edward.

What was Jazzy doing here anyways? I thought he, like, had a ton of, like, meetings and stuff today.

Oh! Maybe he was, like, getting me a present!

But why was he in the back if, like, that's all he was doing? And his clothes were, like, messed up.

Oh, and they both looked like they had just, like, been...oh shit.

Things started falling into place and I felt like I might hurl. Or laugh.

"Maggie?"

"What do you, like, want Jasper? Have you, like, come to laugh at me some more?" I snapped at him.

"I'm sorry, Maggie, it was just so unexpected. If you'd been in my shoes, you'd have been laughing too," he said, about to smile at me. Oh, like, hell no!

I smacked his chest and gathered up the material in my hand.

"What were you, like, doing here anyways Jasper? I thought you had, like, all these important meetings and, like, stuff. Instead you're here, doing, like...what were you doing in the back with Edward?" There, the question was, like, out there.

His head dropped into his chest as mumbled an 'I'm sorry.'

My free arm waved wildly. "You're sorry? You're sorry. That's just, like, fucking great Jazzy! So glad we, like, cleared that up. What the fuck are you, like, sorry for? Are you sorry for not being good enough for me? Are you sorry that this, like, wedding is taking forever to plan? Are you sorry that, like, you'd rather fuck Edward than me?" I screamed at him.

Gentle hands came down on my shoulder and a soft voice whispered against my ear, sending, like, shivers over me. "Now now, Lassy, maybe you need to take a step back and calm down. I'm not sure what all is going on here. Edward is a friend of mine and I know he would never hurt a fly, let alone a pretty thing like you."

I turned my head to look at who was, like, talking to me and it was the hottie with the pink shirt from inside. I gave him a smile and he returned it. "Yes, absolutely beautiful," he amended his words.

"Um, Maggie, I'll see you at home," Jasper said and I waved him off, my attention on the man who was, like, setting my skin on fire.

"I'm Maggie," I said, offering him my hand.

"Eric, Eric Yorkie," he said as he, like, took my hand and kissed it! "Would you do me the extraordinary honor of joining me for dinner? If I may be so bold as to ask?"

"Where?" I whispered. If he was, like, going to suggest Outback or Sizzler or some other steak house, there was, like, no way I was wasting my time.

"For a vision such as yourself, only the finest will do. I'd love for you to accompany me to the Country Club. Tonight is champagne and caviar night, all the most important people will be there. Please say you'll come?"

_Country Club_

_Champagne and caviar_

_Important people_

This guy had, like, been nicer to me in ten minutes than Jazzy had been in, like, months. And he screamed money.

"I'd, like, love to!" I snorted.

**A/N: So, we're just going to go hide behind our computer screens now. Just remember…Maggie's about gone and we WILL have a HEA for our boys (not to mention an awesome outtake of their 'future' is being donated to fandom4autism)**

******PLEASE TAKE NOTE: We have created a new collaboration account that starting next week will be where we post updates. UPDATES WILL NO LONGER BE POSTED SEPARATELY ON OUR INDIVIDUAL PROFILES. We've decided to do this as we now have a second story in the planning stages that will have a little bit of everything. Please take a moment to add TexasRoseFanfiction to your alerts so you can continue to get Boys & Their Toys and all of our future endeavors.**

**See ya'll Monday on the new profile!**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: So tedious to have to do this every freaking time...guess what...we don't own it!**

**A/N: So...first off, welcome to the new profile! We're going to let you get right to it. We're pretty sure in some form or another, this chapter will have you crying. Whether they're happy or sad tears will depend on just how twisted you are :)**

**Be sure to get over to the blog later on...we've got SEVERAL pics to accompany this chapter!**

**EPOV**

"_Do your balls hang low... do they jiggle to and fro... can you tie them in a knot... can you tie them in a bow..."_

Whiskey makes me frisky, rum makes me come and tequila makes me fucked... and not in the usual way.

In fact, I was _beyond_ fucked and when I get my head out of my ass, I'll fill you in...

"_... Can you throw them over your shoulder like a regimental soldier..."_

**JPOV**

_I want to break free_

_I want to break free_

_I want to break free from your lies_

_You're so self-satisfied I don't need you_

_I've got to break free_

_God knows, God knows I want to break free_

"He shoots… he _scores_!" I shouted loudly, a small bottle, well, head, of vodka in one hand as I threw yet another offending pink piece of shit in the trash can.

_I've fallen in love_

_I've fallen in love for the first time_

_And this time I know it's for real_

_I've fallen in love yeah_

_God knows God knows I've fallen in love_

I was in _MY _bedroom, clearing out _HER _shit and I was fucking LOVING it.

No more _pink_. No more _frilly _shit and most of all, no more _Maggie_.

I could do what the fuck I liked from now on, and later, when I was sober enough, I was going to leave the toilet seat up, the lid of my new tube of toothpaste off and then I was going to shave over the sink and not rinse it out.

Because I could.

_It's strange but it's true_

_I can't get over the way you love me like you do_

_But I have to be sure_

_When I walk out that door_

_Oh how I want to be free baby_

_Oh how I want to be free_

_Oh how I want to break free_

She didn't come home last night and I was beyond fucking thankful for that, because I had no idea what to say to her anyway.

I'll be honest, after the Carlton Banks look-a-like had whisked her away, I didn't know how to feel.

One minute I was sitting at the kitchen table, just sulking, drumming my fingers and waiting for her to come home, and the next minute I was in my room clearing out her shit.

Why was I sulking?

Because she had finally seen me for what I was and now that I was ready for a fight...she didn't come home.

It's not like I _wanted_ a fight with her, there was no reason for one really, but at least we could actually hash things out and we could split ways amicably.

But no, she didn't turn up which meant that I couldn't go and see Edward and _finally_ sort things out with him.

So now I was merrily drinking while discarding Maggie, Snuffy as Edward called her, from my life in a way that _I _saw fit because _she _couldn't be assed to come home and clear her shit out on her own.

When the phone started to ring, I couldn't be assed to answer it, but when the voice kicked in on the answering machine, I wished that I'd picked up.

"…_Hey baby boy, just a quick reminder to let you know that dinner is still on for tonight with your future in-laws…"_

_Click_.

"Ah hell," I groaned as I remembered that Maggie and I were supposed to be having dinner with both sets of parents tonight.

How the fuck was I supposed to get out of _that_?

I finished off the vodka as I made my way to the kitchen again.

I needed to get sober.

As much as I would have loved to be drunk while I got through tonight, I would never live it down.

**EPOV**

I was waiting for someone to come and tell me when this situation had turned from a little bit of fun into a situation where my heart was on the line.

Anyone?

No one?

Nope?

Just me then.

"_Lonely I'm so lonely… I have nobody… To call my own… I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely… I have nobody… To call my own… I'm so lonely…_"

**JPOV**

_There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home..._

No matter how much I wished, wanted or thought it, there was no way I could escape sitting at this meal table with these people.

"Jasper, dear, how's the last month gone? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," Mom asked as she passed me a platter of cut meat.

…_Well, I met a man who has turned my world upside down, I have been sexually turned on beyond anything in my life, fucked myself in a car and then gave a blow job to the man I _really _don't know much about, but am head over heels for and to top it all off, we found Maggie collapsed on a sex toy in said man's sex shop and she ran off with a Carlton Banks look-a-like..._

"Busy, but good," I mumbled as I saw Maggie throw me daggers from the corner of my eyes.

I finally made it to my parent's house in enough time to pull Maggie to one side.

We didn't have a heated discussion about anything, but she made it pretty damn clear that she wasn't happy.

_No shit!_

Like I expected anything else from her.

"So, Jasper, Maggie says that you've been too preoccupied to really make any headway on the wedding plans, you know that this is an important thing, don't you?" Her mom, aka Sprocket from Fraggle Rock, asked sweetly, with an undercurrent of bitchy thrown in.

Don't ask me why I call her Sprocket, the name just stuck. Might be because she's got all that facial hair that she refuses to do anything about. Oh, and she certainly acts like a big stupid dog, always pushing her nose into your business and sniffing at your junk.

Can't be as bad as her dad. I call him Beaker, you know, the pink squeaky thing from the Muppets.

The name _really _suits him, trust me, since he looks like a lab rat reject with his beady little eyes that always dart around nervously and he rarely actually says anything.

"Mommy, I asked you to, like, not bring that up," Maggie sniffled and I rolled my eyes.

What Maggie wanted, Maggie got.

Except me.

She wouldn't be getting me from now on.

"But we need to set a date, arrange for a wedding planner, get out notices in the papers. It won't do it all by itself," Sprocket all but hissed as I picked up my wine glass and downed the contents in one huge gulp.

I hated wine, but if it got this afternoon over with quicker and made everything a little fuzzy around the edges, I was up for it.

One glass down and I wasn't even feeling a little bit buzzed, so I necked another one...

And another one...

Three down and it was starting to have an effect, thank God.

"I think you should go for pink roses for the flowers..."

_Oh hell no..._

I sent off a text to Edward's phone with a plea to save me.

Then I remembered that he didn't know where the hell I was.

Fourth glass down.

"Maggie, it is a woman's duty to please her man..."

_God, if you love me, let me die..._

Fifth glass down.

"Jasper, what do you see yourself doing for your stag night? Do you have many male friends?" Beaker squeaked.

Sixth glass gone as I pictured a group of horny deer.

"I wood like... to prop...pose a toast... to my _prostate_, iss always bean dere for meee, given me los of fun times and I woold," I had to smack my lips as they were sticking, "like to invite him onna night out!" I blurted out as I stood up with my seventh glass in my hand.

I wobbled a little, but kept upright, which I suppose was a good thing.

In theory.

"Jasper, sit down," Maggie hissed, but I didn't care.

I had dutch courage.

Kinda.

"Snnuffee," I pointed at her, hiccuped and kept on, "quit tellin' ME wha' to do, I'm a grooown man and if I can wip my own ass," I thumped my open palm against my chest, "I don't need YOU tellin' me what to do. Now, mom, dad, I'm gay, that's right, I... like... dick!" I burped and then giggled at their buggy eyes, "I am not gonna be getting marry-ed to someone who has an Ama...amazz...amazooon. By the way, an ama...ammaz...THAT, mom, is something _COMPLETELY _different to a Brazilian."

Edward's cock, now _that's _what I wanted.

"OOOOOHHH, yer schex isss on _FIRE!_" I belted out loudly as I thought of his flaming inked cock.

"_JASPER!_" I vaguely heard mom cry and I finally felt the full weight of the wine and my body collapsed to the floor.

**EPOV**

A chime from somewhere in my pocket woke me up.

I was currently still drunk, my head was still firmly lodged up my ass and the text puzzled me.

Was I drunk, had I had so much to drink that I'd blinded myself?

I squinted hard, even turned my phone upside, but it still didn't make any sense.

_RbtD eMee_

"What the fuck?" I groaned and then noticed it was from Jasper. My heart started racing knowing he had tried to contact me. Of course, that led to the throbbing in my head becoming even worse.

I stared at the screen trying to make sense of the letters as my hand dropped to my lap to scratch my junk, the itch satisfied, I just left my hand there.

What? It was my security blanket.

Was he sending me code? Or, shit, had he gotten drunk too? If he had, it had to be bad.

I started to get up, ready to rush to his rescue. When the room swirled, I promptly fell back into my seat and realization dawned...I had no fucking clue where he lived.

I shoved my hand into my pants to grip my blanket tighter as I tried to sort out what I could do.

_Damn tequila...devil's juice, I tell ya. _

Still staring at the phone, my thumb started running over the screen absentmindedly, and at some point I must have rubbed harder than I thought because I realized it was dialing.

_Brilliant! Call him! Why didn't I think of that?_

As I listened to the rings, excitement at hearing his soft voice coursed through me and my blankie swelled slightly in my hand. I gave it an understanding squeeze or two, as I waited for him to pick up.

My dick, that had actually managed to almost achieve a full erection, began deflating with each ring that went unanswered.

_Come on, come on, pick up..._

"_You've reached Jasper's phone...sorry I missed your call...leave a message if you want and I'll call you back...if I want. *chuckling* "_ And then there it was, the dreaded beep.

But his voice had sounded so good, so happy. How did I know that wasn't really the case?

My lips moved, "Call me...please," coming out as a croak before I disconnected the call.

I eyed the bottle of tequila sitting on my desk. I glanced around for my glass and didn't find one. Guess I had been taking it from the source then. I grabbed the bottle, noting how it felt somewhat familiar in my hand.

Taking a good look at it, I started barking out laughter. Damn thing looked like a nice thick cock. I brought it to my lips after tugging off the top and tilted it back...it was empty.

_Story of my life,_ I thought, _a sea of cocks everywhere, but not a drop to suck._

**A/N: **Oh dear, it seems the boys are in their cups a little too deep…hopefully we can get them out by next Monday….


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program with this service announcement~ it ain't ours people!**

**A/N: Wow…it's April already? Hope ya'll were safe from pranks yesterday! Let's see how our boys are handling "the morning after."**

**JPOV**

I was cold.

Why the hell was I cold?

"Oh!"

Ow.

I was hugging the toilet, literally.

And I had _the _hangover from hell.

I'm being deadly serious, I felt as if I made one false move, my head would either explode or just roll off my neck and across the floor.

_Slow and steady wins the race _I thought as I very carefully, and extremely slowly, lifted my body up into a crawling position and moved away from the toilet, keeping my head down the whole time.

This is when I should have reminded my body that I wasn't a teenager at college anymore.

Or maybe I should have reminded it last night before all that wine.

Last night.

"Oh shit," I mumbled with a low groan at the end as I thought about dinner.

Looking at the floor tiles in the bathroom, I noted that I was at my parent's house.

"_I wood like... to prop...pose a toast... to my prostate, iss always bean dere for meee, given me los of fun times and I woold like to invite him onna night out!"_

"So not good," I whispered, screwing my eyes shut. "Dammit!" I hissed as my head connected to the bathroom door.

On the plus side, at least my parents didn't hate me enough to throw me out last night.

"Son, what are you doing?" Dad squeaked as I reached the top of the stairs.

"I'm debating if it's safe enough for me to try and stand up or whether I should just risk going down on my front and hope for the best. Either way it's going to be painful," I moaned.

"How about you just stay there and I'll go get you something for the headache?" he asked softly and I really wasn't expecting it. I had made a show of both myself and my family last night, in front of my fiancee and her family.

"Thanks," I whimpered as he patted me hard on the back.

God knows how long later, dad shoved a glass of water under my nose and held his hand out with a couple of pills in his palm.

"Thanks," I said quietly as I took them and gulped them down.

"Son, do you remember much of last night?" he asked in a hushed tone as he sat next to me on the top step.

"Shockingly, everything, I think," I winced.

"Why didn't you tell us? We wouldn't have had a problem with it."

"Well, you know mom, obviously, you married her and all, I just didn't think she of all people would understand," I muttered with a pathetic shrug.

"We just want you to be happy, I have no problem with gay people and I find anal penetration quite enjoyable sometimes," he mused with a wistful smile, suddenly reminding me of Walter from that Dunham guy's act, and I felt the contents of my stomach churn and move towards my throat.

An hour after dad's strange and quite nauseating revelation, I was slumped into a chair at the kitchen table while mom was cooking breakfast for us. Well, you could hardly call it breakfast as it was after one in the afternoon, but hey ho.

"What has annoyed me the most is that you couldn't trust us to know, Jasper Marion Whitlock," she huffed as she placed a large plate in front of me.

I felt shame wash over me.

For two reasons.

I had upset her, obviously.

And two, she called me out on my full name and I hated the fucking name.

Marion?

Really?

Why couldn't they have given me something cool, like Monroe?

A woman with bottle bleached hair sprang to mind and I shuddered.

Maybe not Monroe.

Maxwell? That was a strong name. A man's name.

But Marion?

I felt like I should have worn pigtails as a kid and skipped around the yard hosting fucking tea parties or have long wavy hair and be dressed in pink as I fluttered my eyelashes. Hmmm, on second thought, considering how I turned out, maybe Marion isn't so bad.

That thought took me to another one, and some more recollections came crashing down on me. Somewhere between declaring my sexuality and waking up with the toilet, I'd told Maggie I'd thrown her shit out and she'd informed me that she'd fucked Eric...and we were through.

Halle-fucking-lujah.

Suddenly I felt ten times better and inhaled my food, ready to hug mom and bolt. I had something I couldn't wait any longer to do.

**EPOV**

"Right, Eddie boy, time to haul ass. I don't know what the hell you're up to, but you're not hiding out here anymore." Emmett's voice boomed through the shop as I woke up on the desk. "And get that post-it note off the side of your face," he chuckled as his body filled my office doorway.

"Em-, Emmett, just leave me be," I croaked out.

Damn, my voice sounded like Barry White and my mouth felt like it was the bottom of a bird cage.

"I don't want to know exactly what you've been up to, but if you miss Sunday dinner today, mom is gonna come down on you like a ton of bricks and kick your ass to God knows where," my delinquent brother boomed from the doorway.

"Go away," I moaned lightly. If I said it any louder, my brain would have packed its bags and left my head.

Hangover from hell.

"When was the last time you shaved, or showered for that matter?" he asked as he came over to me and hauled my body out of the chair.

"Easy, easy!" I pleaded, digging my heels in as I gripped at the air for balance.

"Nope, gotta get you out of this funk. Don't make me recruit Alice into this as well," he threatened and I immediately quit fighting him at the mention of our four foot spawn of hell sister. "Damn bro, you stink," he said honestly as he walked my body towards the door.

"Shower, food and some clean clothes can do wonders you know. What is it, sex problems, money?" he asked as he propped me up against the wall outside, set the alarm and locked the door.

"Sex, well, not sex, a man," I mumbled quietly as I thought of Jasper.

_Where the fuck was he?_

_Did he stay with her?_

_Would he forget me?_

_And why the hell was I bothered by all of this?_

I needed a drink….

"Wake up, Edward, can't go to sleep up against a wall!" Em laughed as he tugged on my arm and led me to his car.

How the fuck he ever managed to get inside a Porsche, I'd never know, but he wanted a sexy car, so that meant he shoe-horned himself into one.

"So explain to me the great miracle of a man turning your world upside down," he said as he buckled me in like a fucking child and started to drive off.

I filled him in on all the details about me and Jasper and he stayed silent until we reached the highway, listening. Having hit the open road, he floored the gas pedal as a song came on the radio and before I could register what was going on, he turned it up full blast and started singing at the top of his lungs.

My stomach was actually left on the last intersection and my brain went into hibernation at this point.

… _Except a scene or two_

_Erased by sweet red wine_

_And I see a truck stop sign ahead_

_So I change lanes_

_I need a cup of coffee_

_And a couple dollars change_

_Callin' Baton Rouge_

_Operator won't you put me on through_

_I gotta' send my love down to Baton Rouge_

_Hurry up won't you put her on the line_

_I gotta' talk to the girl just one more time_

_Hello Samantha dear, I hope you're feelin' fine_

_And it won't be long until I'm with you all the time_

_But until then I'll spend my money up right down to my last dime_

_Callin' Baton Rouge_

"Emmett! Will you shut the fuck up! And why the hell are you singing this piece of shit?"

"Ah hell, Edward," he whined as I turned down the radio. "I was trying to take your mind off of him, you know, singing about a woman and shit," he pouted as he took the turn into mom and dad's drive.

"Em, I don't need you distracting me, I don't need to listen to you singing and I sure as hell don't need to listen to Garth Brooks on a Sunday morning," I grouched as he pulled the car to a stop.

"Just go and have a shower and be at the table before mom hits the roof with the pair of us," he replied stiffly.

"Why would she hit the roof with you?" I asked as I managed to expel myself from his death trap without too much pain.

"Because Rosie still isn't pregnant. You know she was actually on about signing me up to classes to learn the art of making love? She thinks I can't perform properly and that's why Rosie isn't up the duff," he huffed loudly as he stomped towards the house and I was left dazed.

"Surely she doesn't think that," I muttered as I caught up with him.

"Oh come on, Edward, with one son gay and the other one not producing grandkids, our momma is not in the best place right now." He slapped me on the back as we crept through the back yard and stood outside the back door.

"You first," I whispered.

"Nah-ah," he replied childishly and I rolled my eyes.

A second later found me climbing, with a hangover still in place, up the trellis and into our old bedroom window.

I made it in through the window peacefully, but all my hopes of getting unnoticed by mom went back out the window as Emmett came crashing to the floor on top of me.

"Boys! Get your backsides down here this instant!" mom hollered from somewhere in the house.

"We weren't even that loud!" I hissed as I pushed him off of me.

"Whatever, go shower, I'll go deal with her," he moaned.

I carried on moaning as I shuffled my feet all the way to the bathroom.

Why hadn't he called me back?

**A/n: More of a transitional chapter this time around…but hey, they are nursing hangovers and moving kind of slow…**

**Pics on the blog as always.**

**See ya next Monday!**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: While we are both very creative, sadly we did not originally create Edward, Jasper or any of the other characters featured in this story…we're just making them act a little differently than Stephenie Meyer did.**

**A/N: You guys got a few too many laughs at the expense of the boys aching heads *smirks* and we know you're chomping at the bit now that Maggie has been, like, excused from the story for the time being to see these two get down and dirty. It's coming, we promise…they just need to take care of a few things first…**

**JPOV **

"Are you being safe?" Mom quizzed me as I tried to leave the kitchen table.

Now, she was going start talking now? About this? Of all things? God, woman, I love you dearly, but please let my food have a chance to settle first!

I slumped back down in my seat. _"You ain't going nowhere, Jasper,"_ playing in my head as if I were Gilbert Grape.

"Yes, mom, and to be honest, we've not really done anything that needs us to be safe, if you know what I mean," I moaned.

Was I really having this conversation with my mother at the table?

"Yes, I understand that, but you can never be too sure, men have a wicked way of becoming overwhelmed in situations," she pushed.

_No shit! _

Overwhelmed guy sitting right here, mom!

"What your mom is trying to say, son, is that have you really gotten to know this man, do you know what he wants from you? And being safe doesn't mean condoms and lube, it means being safe with your heart, too," dad cut in and it was quite nice, coming from him, apart from the condoms and lube remark.

My mind wandered back to the stairs and what he told me.

I did not need to have _that _in my head.

"Trust me, dad, I'm fine, we're fine. We both made a point of not doing much while I was still with Maggie and I know it sounds wrong of me to even think about doing anything while I was with her, but I couldn't stop myself, he's really taken over a huge chunk of my life," I said quietly, desperate for them to understand.

"I get it, son, I do, you have urges, just like everyone else and we're proud that you didn't betray Maggie's trust like that, even though she did, in fact, betray yours," mom said softly.

My eyes whipped up to hers. I thought that had been a private conversation between the two of us. Huh. Apparently not.

"Yes, Maggie drank nearly as much as you last night and got quite vocal, even though you were completely out of it on the floor. Her parents tried to drag her out of the house, but she just wouldn't budge. She kept going on and on about how she had you for the money, Edward for the sex and some poor man named Eric for the reputation. Quite frankly, I'm glad you didn't marry the little trollop," mom said icily.

Well, this was a turn of events.

"Okay, on that note, I'm heading home," I said with a smirk as I saw mom's eyes alight with fire.

I knew if I stayed, she would have me helping her clean out all the cupboards in the house while she ranted and fumed about Maggie.

"You're not driving, are you?" mom screeched one decibel short of breaking glass.

"No, mom, I'm not. It'll only take me awhile to walk home and the fresh air will do me some good," I chuckled painfully as my brain decided to let me know that I was still suffering the after effects of the wine.

"Okay son, just call or send us a text when you get home, just to shut your mom up," dad chuckled as he gave me a hug goodbye. Mom had disappeared to somewhere in the house and we both cringed as we started to hear things clattering about.

I gave dad a pity look.

"Tell her I said goodbye," I said as I walked out of the house. As I headed down the street, I pulled my phone out of pocket, to see if I'd missed any calls from Edward, or worse, to see if I'd tried calling or texting him in my less than gentlemanly state last night.

I saw that I had a missed call from Edward, and my heart soared...but first, I checked my outgoing actions.

TO Sexy: _RbtD eMee_

I stared at the nonsense on my screen, my hand wiping down my face slowly and sliding around to cup the back of my neck as I muttered 'what the fuck?' _If he didn't think I was a head case before, he most certainly does now,_ I thought, cringing as I quickly confirmed that at least this was the only thing I'd sent out.

I was now afraid to listen to Edward's message, but I knew I couldn't ignore it. I pulled it up and hit play, bringing the phone to my ear. His three words froze me mid step, not because of the words themselves, but because of the anguish I could hear in his voice.

Why did he sound so upset? I know our make out session got cut short, but we'd kissed and I'd left, telling him I'd call him...I hadn't told him goodbye. I replayed our last few minutes together and got a sinking feeling in my gut. Although I'd known I had every intention of coming back, I could see how he might be questioning my intentions.

I needed to get home, get showered and get over to him. He was going to be ecstatic to hear that she was officially gone, that I was completely free to be his...if he'd have me.

I dialed up his number, wanting to tell him that I'd be in his arms in about an hour...and listened to his phone ring...

"Edward's phone, this is Emmett..."

_Emmett? Who the fuck is Emmett?_

**EPOV**

Freshly showered and the llama scraped off my teeth and tongue, I felt much better. I came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around my hips to find Emmett sitting on my bed with a smile that said he was up to no good.

Trust me...I'd seen that smile enough times in my life, and felt the resulting whipping, to recognize it.

"What?" I hedged.

"What?" he shrugged.

"I know that look..."

"I'm certain I don't know what you're talking about brother dear," he said with a big cheesy grin.

_Yeah, fucker was up to something._

"Sure you don't asshole," I snapped at him. I wasn't in a good mood as I hadn't heard from Jasper yet. I went to grab my phone and it was lying on the bed instead of the nightstand, where I was sure I'd left it.

"Did you move my phone?"

He batted his eyelashes at me. "Nope."

"Goddamn it, Emmett. I am so not in the mood for your shit. Get out of here so I can get dressed," I snarled as he continued to sit there giving me that shit eating grin. Suddenly I was five years old again and having a staring contest with my idiot brother.

I wasn't expecting it when he suddenly grabbed the sides of my head in his big paws and pulled me forward and planted a big kiss on me, complete with an exaggerated smooching sound, making me think of Bugs Bunny. I started grinning evilly at him.

"Tell me, Bugs, did you sort out mom?" His brow furrowed as he realized I was changing the tide on him, but he hadn't figured out how yet. It was rather amusing.

"Um, yeah, I did...told her I'd found you lost in your thoughts at the gym so you were just cleaning up real quick. Dinner's being put on the table now, so hurry up," he said, standing to leave.

"Thanks, Bugs!" He spun around to look at me and I just grinned at him.

"Yeah, sure. By the way...you...me...we're going out tomorrow night," he announced and strolled out of my room, closing my door before I could question him.

What I was able to do, and probably shouldn't have, was chuck my phone at the door as it closed and proceeded to watch as it landed on the floor in pieces.

Lots of them.

"Goddamn it! Fucking hell!" I roared out as the brilliance of my move came to light. I'd just lost Jasper's number.

Dinner was cordial...as it usually was. I tried to participate in the conversation, but pretty much left it up to everyone else, just supplying one word answers where I had to. The highlight was that our sister made the announcement that her baker man had finally done the job...and she had a bun in the oven. Mom was over the moon, and I was no longer the focus, nor was Emmett.

I kept reaching for my pocket to pull my phone out every few minutes, and then would remember it was shattered upstairs, until Emmett kicked me under the table, pointing out that my behavior was not normal.

I'd like to see him in this situation where his head was fucked through alcohol and sex troubles.

Oh, hang on, that was his normal behavior.

Well, at least if he understood, he could have been more supportive.

I finally settled on gripping my security blankie, under the table of course. Poor guy was feeling neglected and unloved.

_I needed Jasper._

**A/N: Until next week…just a couple of pics with this chapter and yeah, no song, but we'll be making up for that in the upcoming chaps. Don't forget to visit the blog if you haven't…the visuals really are half the fun of this story! www . toyward . blogspot . com**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: It's not our people.**

**A/N: Hope everyone had a good week… and weekend. Hopefully this helps kick start this week for ya!**

**JPOV**

I needed Edward and I needed him like yesterday.

After the quick garbled conversation with who I assumed was his brother, we made plans to go out tomorrow night and as much as I wanted to, was desperate to in fact, I was fucking nervous as hell.

All this time there had been a maggot, I mean Maggie, standing in the way of pretty much everything we did, but tomorrow night there would be nothing.

Just us two.

And that scared me because maybe he liked me _because_ of the chase. What if, once he got me, he would tire of me?

_No, it's more than that, Jasper_. I scolded myself as I walked down the empty street.

I knew that it was more than that for me, I didn't know how Edward had felt because all of the times we had been together, we had other things on our mind than pouring our hearts out.

Hearts.

Maybe I could convince him of how I felt and that would make him talk to me, open up, tell me how he felt.

With a slight plan hatching in my brain, I walked with a purpose to the store that I needed. I just prayed to God that they were open.

I wanted to do this before I saw him next.

I needed him to see how he made me feel, and I just hoped to hell he felt the same way. Otherwise, I was about to do something _really_ stupid.

"Holy mother of all that's holy!" I cried out painfully as it touched my skin.

"I haven't even started yet, handsome," the lady giggled lightly as her gloved hands caressed my skin.

"A little warning would have been nice," I gritted out as she started again.

"Well, how about you do something to take your mind off of things, find a song you like, or think about game stats," she smiled, "or think about sex, that's always a good one, have a fantasy while I get busy." She winked at me.

"I'm gay," I blurted out so that she would get the hint, just in case she was trying her luck.

"Damn, it's always the pretty ones," she giggled as I let out a deep breath before taking another deep one in.

A perfect song came to mind as I began singing it lowly through gritted teeth.

_You Wanna Feel_

_I'll Let You Feel_

_Come Here_

_Can't Help What Love_

_Could Do To You_

"New Kids on the Block, that's a new one for in here, normally it's some type of grunge mix," she mused with a smirk as she carried on her work.

"Mhmm," I gritted out again.

_You With Cuts, Scars, Bruises Hurt_

_So What You Like, You Like All The_

_Screws, Tattooes, Cool_

_That I Can Do, You're Telling_

_You're Telling Me Your_

"Why do people get this done?" I asked painfully. I was happy that it was starting to go numb by this point through the tiny vibrations, but it still fucking hurt like a bitch.

_A Little Bit (little Bit)_

_Twisted (oohhh)_

_Can't Feel Your Heart_

_You Want Me To Twist It (for Ya)_

_A Little Bit (little Bit)_

_Twisted (tell Me Where It Hurts)_

_Where Does It Hurt_

_Tell Me Where To Kiss It (kiss It)_

_Kiss It (kiss It)_

_Kiss It (kiss It)_

_Where Does It Hurt_

_Tell Me Where To Kiss It_

"Art, addiction, you name it and that's your answer. You have cute abs by the way," she smiled again.

_How Do You Feel_

_I Got You Ill_

_From All The Love_

_I'll Try Not To Kill Ya_

_Ya Close Enough But,_

_You With Cuts, Scars, Bruises Hurt_

_So What You Like, You Like All The_

_Screws, Tattooes, Cool_

_That I Can Do, You're Telling_

_You're Telling Me Your_

_A Little Bit (little Bit)_

_Twisted (oohhh)_

_Can't Feel Your Heart_

_You Want Me To Twist It (for Ya)_

_A Little Bit (little Bit)_

_Twisted (tell Me Where It Hurts)_

_Where Does It Hurt_

_Tell Me Where To Kiss It (kiss It)_

_Kiss It (kiss It)_

_Kiss It (kiss It)_

_Where Does It Hurt_

_Tell Me Where To Kiss It_

"How ya feelin'? You've gone almost silent," her voice broke through my hums to the song as I thought about all of Edward's ink.

I've decided that he must have some sort of twisted addiction to having this done.

_You Need A Little More_

_I'll Get You Where You Want_

_I'll Push You How You Want It_

_Just Tell Me Where To Pull_

_You Want It (Harder)_

_Need It (Harder)_

_Girl It's (Turnin)_

_How You (Like It)_

_Girl (Whatever)_

_You Been (Missin)_

_You (Need Me To)_

_Come And_

_Twist It For Ya_

_I'll Come And (Twist It For Ya)_

_I'll Even (clean It For Ya)_

_I'll Hurt Ya (if You Like It)_

_And Then I'll (kiss It For Ya...)_

"Fuck getting pierced," I muttered as she finally finished after what felt like hours. I was sure there was going to be nothing but raw hamburger in the space she'd been working on rather than what I'd asked for.

"That's not too bad at all, piece of piss compared to ink," she laughed as she pulled off her gloves, "just stay there for a bit while I tidy up." She patted my shoulder as she stood up from her stool on wheels.

"I'm a wimp, I really am, I am so surprised that I didn't pass out," I tried to joke.

"I used to be too, until I got my clit pierced, after that, its plain sailing," she giggled.

"Damn, that must have hurt," I mused as I thought about it. That was one hell of an area to get it done, but saying that, it couldn't have been too bad if Edward could have countless ones done around his cock.

_His cock._

God I wanted that piece of him in me. Hell, I'd settle for anything of him in me at the moment.

"I thought you said you were gay?" she giggled again as she looked blatantly at my ever growing cock.

"Boyfriend, I was thinking about my boyfriend," I rushed out, completely embarrassed that she had caught me.

"Oh, tell me about him," she pushed as she played around with the stuff on a tray by my side.

Before I knew it, I felt like I had poured out my whole life story from Maggie to Edward and our last couple of days without each other.

"I think I know him," she said as she tapped her finger on her chin. "Now _that _man has some ink and bars," she mused.

"That cock is mine if you're thinking about it," I joked as I clocked the dreamy look in her eyes.

"I can always dream, baby," she smiled.

"True," I replied as I sat up and felt a little lightheaded. "Nothing wrong with dreaming. Sometimes those dreams come true." At least, I hoped they did, after what I just went through.

"So… do you want anything else doing? Fancy being a rebel for a change?" she hedged and I looked around.

"I want to be brave and say yes, but I want sex with him and if I have anything done in my mouth or south of the border, I'll be in too much pain," I smiled, happy that I could get out of anything else that included a needle.

"Oh don't be silly, you could have your ear done, or your eyebrow, it will look as sexy as hell for Edward, trust me," she winked and I was torn. "Or even better," she eyed me plaintively; "you could let me do your nipples?"

I really was a wimp. I shied away from anything that had anything to do with pain, but then I wanted to see Edward's reaction to something. Would he like it? Would he be turned on?

"Can I have my eyebrow done?" I blurted out before I could back out of having it done.

"Cool, let me get it sorted out."

Half an hour later and I was walking down the street like an idiot. My chest hurt, my eye hurt and I still wasn't exactly over my hangover.

I just wanted to go home and go to sleep.

Bella, the ink girl, said that I needed to keep ice on my eye for as long as possible and to clean it with boiled water and salt, not something I was looking forward to, but I didn't have a choice. I didn't want much, if any, swelling to develop overnight and for it to look like hell when I finally met up with Edward tomorrow night.

Edward.

I really wanted that man to fuck my brains out, I really did.

I wanted his tongue on me, his hands, his cock, I wanted everything with him.

Forever.

It was time to get ready.

Time to take control of my life...in my own way...do what I wanted and not what anybody else wanted me to do.

I docked my iPod and cranked my "Party" playlist and began dancing in place as I stripped down.

_I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night_

_That tonight's gonna be a good night_

_That tonight's gonna be a good good night _

_Tonight's the night night_

I spun and shimmied around my EMPTY pink-free bedroom, laying out my True Religion jeans, my 'sexy' speedo-like skivvies, my bottle of cherry flavored AnalEaze and the plug Edward had given me as a joke early on.

Sleek steel.

Topped with a pink jewel.

_Tonight's the night_

_Let's live it up_

_I got my money_

_Lets spend it up_

_Go out and smash it_

_Like Oh My God_

_Jump off that sofa_

_Lets get get OFF_

I hurried through my shower, ignoring my diamond hard erection. I toweled off, carefully patting the new ink and then applying a thin layer of Vaseline over the top. With my dick bouncing off my thigh, I walked to my bed and grabbed the supplies.

Laying back and pulling my knees up and wide, I popped the lube top and applied an ample amount to my fingers and the plug.

My memories flooded my mind of my night with Edward outside of my car, making my body willingly open to the plug as I slid it home.

I had to take a few minutes to breathe through not spraying my room in my salted cream.

As soon as I could move, I stood and tucked myself into the small skivvies, appreciating the way they hugged my nuts and shaped my dick. I gave a practice walk across the room to make sure the plug wasn't going to make me blow then pulled on the jeans, noticing that they hung a little looser than the last time I'd worn them.

I ducked into the bathroom, spritzed some Cool Water sparingly over me, including pulling out the waistband of my jeans to hit that sweet spot right at the base of my dick.

A quick dab of gel through my hair and I was set. I grabbed my phone and my keys and headed out the door, a swagger in my step and a song on my lips. It was going to be a good night.

_Here we come_

_Here we go_

_We gotta rock_

_Easy come_

_Easy go_

_Now we on top_

_Feel the shot_

_Body rock_

_Rock it don't stop_

_Round and round_

_Up and down_

_Around the clock_

***Fun times are coming!**


	15. Chapter 15

**What do we have here? Why, it's a bonus chapter! Because you lovely readers wowed us with all the love and adorable pet names you bestowed on us after the last chapter… **

**With reviews like:**

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, there? You ended it there? *faints*

ooooooh, your UST is freaking killing me! How hot is J? Edward's going to love the tat & piercing. I can't wait for him to see them! As much as I want them to finally get down to it, would love to hear an EPOV beforehand :) Anxious to find out what the tat is. Mmmm would be a nice little manip for the blog, JA, WHERE ARE YOU? hahaha Need some lovin' soon, almost to maximum cock-block levels here. Great chapter! Jeez, 7 more days...:( love u ladies

cock blocking SOB! can a woman get blue balls? you give us a lil relief in chapter 8, which was really hot, and you got rid of Fraggle Rock but come on! Can we beg for early update? My first born is potty trained with a small trust fund LOL :)

OMG you are seriously going to leave us here, with the mental image of Jasper tatted and pierced...and plugged!

You teasing hussies! OMG! I may have sex again before Jasper and Edward finally do, and since I spend all my time holed up in my house writing, that's a big stretch.

*at the word stretch, mind flits to J's pre date prep and eyes become glossy*

Soooo Tattoo picture on the blog?

**How could we make you wait till Monday? No, that tattoo picture is not on the blog yet, once it's revealed in the story, it will go on the blog. Okay, you vociferous loyal readers… REMEMBER: we gave you a bonus chapter, when you play with that button at the end.**

**EPOV**

"But I don't want to go out," I pouted as Em threw a shirt and a pair of dark jeans at me.

I was currently sitting on my bed after a slow day at work and Em had used his spare key for the first time.

He just barged into my apartment, chucked me in the shower and started shouting orders at me for what he had planned for tonight.

Despite the fact that it was a Monday night and the city would be fairly quiet, he was determined to get me out for the night.

He was up to something.

Em never went to this much trouble about going out. And considering that the morons at the phone store had been unable to save my contact information from the shards I'd taken in, on top of the fact that Jasper had NOT come by the store today...I was not even the least bit interested in going out.

"… And you want to try and comb that bird's nest of yours because it looks a right state, he mumbled as he started raiding my cupboards for fuck knows what.

"Em, slow down, we don't have to leave just yet, what's got up your ass?" I joked as he came across yet another box of toys.

I was not an addict.

I just liked toys.

Lots of them, in fact.

"Edward, get dressed so I don't have to see your junk floppin' all over the place," he chastised me as he turned away from me and stomped out of my room towards the kitchen.

"My house, my junk, Bugs!" I shouted towards his retreating back, shaking my willy at him for good measure.

He flipped me off as he slammed the kitchen door and I started to wonder why he was in such a shit mood for someone who was desperate to get me out.

I finally managed to pull myself together, pulling on my old jeans that were wearing through in several places, namely the pockets on the ass and just to the right of my zipper and, just to spite Emmett, my 'Get off my dick' shirt. At least I was getting dressed and saving my ass from him shouting at me.

Once I was done, I pulled on shoes, ran my fingers through my hair and then left my room, still pouting that he was dragging my sorry ass out of my comfort hole.

When I walked into the living room, Emmett's mouth dropped open before he could catch it and he just shook his head with a quiet laugh.

"Something wrong with my outfit?" I groused at him and he laughed again.

"Nope, actually, I'd say it's probably just right. Just let go for tonight, enjoy yourself and see where the night takes you," he mumbled as he grabbed my keys and ushered me towards the front door.

Why the fuck was he being so cryptic?

"Bugs, what have you got up your sleeve?" I asked as I moved out of his way so he could lock the door.

"Hello? I'm wearing a wife beater, no sleeves here, bro," he chuckled at his own private joke while I threw him evil looks.

"Chill, Edward, tonight equals fun," he smiled as he threw his arm over my shoulder and led us out of the building and towards my car.

Thank fuck for that because there was no way I could squeeze myself into his heap of shit for the second time in two days.

"Where are we heading?" I asked carefully as he grabbed my car keys and jumped into the driver's seat.

"_Grind_," he replied and I swear I saw him blush under the street lights.

_Grind _was _the _hottest gay club in the city and when I say hottest, it was _barely _legal with the amount going on behind its doors.

"Em, I really don't want to go there, please? Anywhere but there," I moaned.

What the hell was he smoking? Since when did my straight, married brother think it was a good idea to take me to a gay club where the inevitable goal of the patrons was to get their dick serviced in some form?

"Have you decided that pussy isn't your thing anymore, bro? Rose not doing it for ya? You need to have a man show you how good it can really be?" I pelted him with questions as he ignored me and kept driving.

Well, fuck. It was worth a try.

"Why are we doing this?" I whined.

He pulled up to the light and grinned at me. "Meeting someone," was all he said as the light changed to green and we moved along with the traffic.

"Who the fuck do you have to meet at _Grind?" _I asked in disbelief. Was I right with my earlier questions?

"Nobody."

I was seriously going to reach over and smack the fucker.

Since he wasn't talking, I amused myself with surfing the radio stations, trying to find something to get me in the mood for the club atmosphere.

_Everything you say to me_

_Takes me one step closer to the edge_

_And I'm about to break_

_I need a little room to breathe_

_Cause I'm one step closer to the edge_

_I'm about to break_

The closer we got, the more I started to think maybe this was just what I needed. A few drinks while surrounded by man flesh.

Sweaty. Grinding. Thrashing. Men.

I'd closed my eyes to try to picture what I might see, what I might feel when walking through those doors.

Every last person took on Jasper's features.

Their bodies lengthened and reshaped into his lean form.

Fuck.

It was going to be a long lonely night.

**JPOV**

It had been almost two years since I'd been here. In fact, it was on these very premises that I last felt my puckered hole getting drilled by a real cock.

_I want your ugly_

_I want your disease_

_I want your everything_

_As long as it's free_

_I want your love_

By some nameless man with a hot body.

If tonight went well, the hot body drilling me would not be nameless.

_I want your drama_

_The touch of your hand_

_I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand_

_I want your love_

_Love-love-love_

_I want your love_

I pushed through the swarms of slick bodies, feeling fingertips graze over my exposed flesh. I could hear the low murmurs, asking me to dance, complimenting me on my physique and my ink.

I ignored them all.

The plug sitting snugly in my ass wasn't in preparation for them.

_I want your horror_

_I want your design_

'_Cause you're a criminal_

_As long as you're mine_

_I want your love_

I finally reached the bar and got the attention of the bartender. He headed towards me with a sexy smile.

"What can I get you gorgeous?" he asked, leaning over the bar towards me as he raised his voice so I could hear over the loud music.

"What do you suggest in a shot with whiskey?"

He pulled back and looked me up and down, probably a little longer than necessary, but I relished the attention. I was soaking it all in, letting it build my confidence that as soon as he got here, he wouldn't be able to resist me.

_I want your love and_

_I want your revenge_

_I want your love_

_I don't wanna be friends_

He finally gave a nod of his head. "Three legged monkey should suit you fine," he declared as he slapped the bar top and turned to fix my shot. He was back a moment later with the concoction.

I slid him a ten-spot, telling him to keep the change before lifting the glass to my lips and tilting it back.

Damn...that shit tasted good. I had to know.

"What's in that?"

"Crown Royal, amaretto and what every man should include in their diet on a daily basis," he winked, "pineapple juice."

I liked the way this guy thought. "Fix me another!"

What? I was imbibing the juice to make _my_ juice sweet for my man!

I had to yell as a new song had come on and the room was going apeshit.

_**Hey T?**_

**Yeah TB?**

_**Think we need to run?**_

**Why? We gave them some pretty images in this EXTRA chapter… they should be loving us right now.**

_**True… and Monday's not that far off… you remember what happens in the next chapter right, T?**_

_**T? *shakes TrueEnglishRose and wipes drool from her face***_

Think it's safe to say, next week gets rather warm…


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Wow... the two chaps from last week certainly elicited some passionate responses! Sorry for not getting to replies, we hope the bonus chapter made up for it. Just to point out, had we not posted that bonus chapter, you would have been getting 15 today and having to wait for THIS chapter till NEXT Monday... that being said, we do love you and hope you are all still breathing at the end...**

**EPOV**

We pulled up to the curb, instead of into the parking lot, and I was confused. Emmett slapped a card into my hand and I looked down, my brow rising.

"I came by earlier and picked up a VIP pass. You head on in, the pass will get you past the line. I'm going to, uh, go park and I'll catch up with ya later..." he explained, pushing against me to get out of the car.

I closed the door and watched in disbelief as he took off completely.

Fucker had just dropped me off here and taken off with my car!

"Goddamn asshole!" I screamed after my retreating taillights. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I looked down at the piece of expensive heavy grade card stock in my hand.

_Well shit, might as well go in and collect the free drink that's mentioned on the card, _I thought with a heavy sigh as I trudged towards the front of the line.

I flashed the card and entered, immediately feeling the change in temperature. The mild air of outside was whisked away as the door closed behind me and it was a good ten degrees warmer.

I barked out a laugh hearing Lady Gaga over the speakers, begging for love. There was only one man I wanted to beg to let me love him...I mean fuck him.

I mean...fuck...

Love him.

Yeah, the bastard had reeled me in and left me flopping like a fish out of water.

My eyes adjusted to the dimness, broken only by the flashing pink lights around the dance floor. There was some beefcake up on the stage that didn't hold my attention. I sought out the bar on the far side of the room and made my way over.

Hands grabbed at me and I smacked them away.

There was only one set of hands I wanted to touch me.

The bar came into sight and I pulled up about five feet away. Standing at the bar, his back to the room was a man that could have been Jasper's twin.

Except this man was in a pair of nicely fitting jeans and was shirtless, his muscle bound back on display for everyone in the building.

Jasper wouldn't do something like that. He wouldn't be here in this meat market...but the hair had me wondering.

The doppelganger at the bar tossed his head back, downing a shot before laughing at something the bartender said.

_I know you want me_

_I made it obvious that I want you too_

_So put it on me_

_Let's remove the space between me and you_

_Now rock your body_

_Damn I like the way that you move_

_So give it to me_

_Cause I already know what you wanna do_

The atmosphere in the club soared into maximum lust as the song shifted to Enrique. Even I felt it as I prowled forward.

I was standing right behind him when he asked for another.

I was breathing in his scent and just knew it had to be him. I didn't want to think why he was here when I hadn't heard from him in days. Then it clicked...fucking Emmett.

_I know you want me_

_I made it obvious that I want you too_

_So put it on me_

_Let's remove the space between me and you_

_Now rock your body_

_Damn I like the way that you move_

_So give it to me_

_Cause I already know what you wanna do_

I moved in, pushing my front against his bare back as I captured him by placing my arms either side of him on the bar. I felt him stiffen, and then relax as I started saying the words along with the song, just behind his ear.

_Here's the situation_

_Been to every nation_

_Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do_

_You know my motivation_

_Give in my reputation_

_Please excuse I don't mean to be rude_

I punctuated 'rude' by thrusting my bulging cock against his tight little ass at the same time that he let his head fall back against my shoulder, turning slightly to the side so that I could see his profile. His eyes told me all I needed.

I hadn't lost him. I didn't know the story yet, but he was mine.

_But tonight I'm loving you_

_Oh you know_

_That tonight I'm loving you_

_Oh you know_

_That tonight I'm loving you_

I grabbed his hips and walked him backwards onto the dance floor. Doing my best to keep him tight against me, not allowing any space to form between us.

We melted into the crowd, his hips wiggling in my hands from side to side as we moved. The song continued to pulse its hypnotic beat, taking us ever deeper into horny hell.

_You're so damn pretty_

_If I had a type than baby it'd be you_

_I know you're ready_

_If I never lied, than baby you'd be the truth_

We secured a spot on the floor and then really got into it. My hands moved from his hips, down the sides of his thighs before I curled them inward and brought them back up until I was firmly cupping him.

_Goddamn, he's hard as steel, _I thought with a low growl.

**JPOV**

Emmett held up his end and got Edward here. I was so going to owe that man.

Enrique was singing the words around us, but all I heard was Edward's voice as he breathed in my ear. He was so fucking hard behind me, unknowingly pressing the plug deeper in my ass causing a guttural groan to come out of me.

I hadn't planned for him to find me at the bar and to just grab me like this, but I could go with it...in fact, I think that I liked that we were reconnecting this way... without him realizing what was now inked into my chest.

Because I knew his reaction when he did see it would be nothing but honest.

I wanted to cry when his hands moved forward and started dragging up my thighs. When he practically grabbed my dick, it was all I could do not to jizz in my pants.

_Must refocus. Must not think about how good his hands feel right... fucking... there!_

He was now actually gripping me, running his palm over me while his other hand had gone back to my hip to hold me against him as he ground into my ass.

I didn't even know what song was on now. All I knew was that my man was working me into a frenzy as if he wanted me to cum in my pants. Well, I could play that game too.

I snaked my right hand around till I was grabbing the side of his thigh. My fingers met rough denim and..._skin?_

As he pumped me and suckled on my neck just under my earlobe where it feels so good, I let my fingers slide over him. At times there was jean, but then I'd find a frayed edge and my fingers would find flesh.

Writhing, trembling flesh.

My arm was almost completely behind my back so I could zero in on his zipper area. To my delight, I found another tear almost parallel to his zipper and ducked my fingers into the opening.

_Fuck me, my boy was commando._

I tried to grip him. I really did. There just wasn't enough room to move around short of tearing the hole further open.

And as much as I would be more than happy to do just that, I wasn't going to put his dick on display for the circling hyenas that a cursory glance showed all around us...staring, licking their lips, making tongue in cheek gestures right along with grabbing their crotches.

I managed to wiggle my fingers and make them brush the piercing in the head of his dick, which was perilously close to the tear. He hissed and I felt wetness seep onto them.

I withdrew them quickly and sucked them into my mouth, savoring the flavor.

I was just about to spin around to share his taste with him when his hand, which was on my thigh, steadily came up my chest, stopping to pinch my nipple sharply before he continued up to my jaw. He spread his fingers across my chin and guided my head to slowly turn towards him.

His form fell away from my hand as his lips came to mine. We both kept our eyes open, locked on each other, as he slinked around to my front, my head coming back around to face forward as we continued to flick our tongues out against the other's lips.

He pulled back and I smiled at him, wondering what he was thinking. His eyes flicked up to my eyebrow and went wide. "Jesus fuck, Jasper...that is...there are no words..."

"As long as you think it's sexy, since that was the reason for me doing it...for you," I purred.

I locked my fingers into his belt loops and pulled his crotch in tight against mine, knocking our cocks together roughly.

His eyes rolled back and then he was on me, shoving his tongue deep into the recesses of my mouth as I opened wide to receive him.

Catcalls erupted around us as we practically fucked right there on the floor.

By the time we stopped, I realized we had stopped moving all together. We were no longer dancing, just standing as close as we could short of penetration taking us closer. His hands were threaded through my hair, holding my face to his and my arms were wrapped around him, spanning his back.

He withdrew after a final tender brush of his lips against mine.

"I missed you."

I gave a half laugh. "Really? Never would have guessed." He bucked against my groin, making my eyes roll back this time.

"Maggie?" His eyes clouded momentarily, as if he was afraid of the answer.

I grinned widely. "Gone."

"Really?" Now he was grinning. I nodded.

"Really really."

He laughed and then surprised the ever loving hell out of both of us by dropping to a knee, my hand clasped between his.

_Oh shit, is he gonna propose?_

"What is that?" came out of his mouth instead of whatever he'd been about to say. I followed his eyes to the red and black ink over my pectoral muscle, opposite of the ink on his chest.

"You set me free, Edward. I've come back. I'm yours."

**How sexy sweet are these two? hehe...**

**Remember, we love you! **

**Oh, have you made your donations to fandom4autism yet? A future take of this, _Toysper Goes to Greece,_ is being donated. Here's a sample of what we've got so far:**

His eyes rolled back as he groaned softly, his hand coming to land on top of mine as he pressed me more firmly against him. I could feel his dick swelling underneath my palm and my own dick started growing in reaction.

"How long is this flight again?" I choked out.

"Too long," he whimpered as he started working our hands up and down his length. To be honest, I was a little pissed at the material that separated my hand from feeling his silky flesh in my grip.

The flight attendant chose that moment to stroll by, making sure our seat belts and tray tables were secured for take off. I'd started to pull my hand back, but Edward had squeezed my wrist, making it stay right there so she got a good eyeful of me grabbing his junk.

Instead of the look of disgust I'd expected, she actually stuttered in her well rehearsed speech, letting a breathy 'oh my' escape in a quiet tone that only we could hear. She shifted her stance, and in her tight uniform it wasn't hard to miss how her nipples were suddenly pressing against her blouse.

She got off on a man-on-man action, this was good to know. We could use this. If the blasted plane would get off the ground! Instead of having to endure hard ons and blue balls for the 13 hour flight to Greece, we could get her to look the other way (or maybe offer to let her watch if need be) while we both got the much needed relief we craved... all the time.

What? You'd be insatiable too if you got to fuck Edward.

**http:/ fandoms4autism . blogspot . com / p / how-to-donate . html (take out the spaces!) We'll see ya'll next Monday!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks to every last one of you for your continued support and amazingly funny reviews... they really make our day! Witchy... this song's for you...**

**EPOV**

I had never been one for easy tears.

But I was about to lose my shit and bawl like a baby.

He'd gotten inked.

For me.

With the missing, and thereby matching, half of my tattoo...my heart , outlined with the words, _If they come back they're yours. If they don't, they never were._

_He had come back... he was mine._

The ink was fresh, still oozing slightly along his puffy pink skin, but I'd never seen anything more beautiful. And I wasn't talking just about the way his skin was now painted.

The thought, the sentiment and meaning, behind his gesture was crippling and mind blowing.

I rose so I could look closer, ghosting my fingers just above the surface of the swirls and lettering, itching to kiss and run my tongue over the intricate pattern.

Instead, I moved just towards the center of his chest, by his heart, and planted a soft kiss on his skin before looking up at the man that had captured all of me, heart, mind and body.

"You met Bella, I see," I said as I smiled gently at it, my eyes playful.

"Um, yeah...she's..."

I laughed. "Harmless...but quite the flirt. And very forward, I'm sure if we ever wanted to 'expand our horizons', she would be more than happy to be our third leg."

_Was I really thinking of us long term? Damn straight!_

He smirked sexily at me, raising his brow. "Should I be jealous? She did seem to remember you quite fondly."

"You have nothing to worry about, it was all harmless flirting," I chuckled as I pulled his body closer to mine, careful not to push against his new ink.

There was no way I wanted to hurt him, give him pleasure, hell yes, but no pain.

"Let's get out of here," I said as I stood back up and pulled him towards the exit.

Once we were in the lobby of the club, the music was quieter, just the bass pumping loudly, but it was quiet enough for us to talk without shouting.

"Jasper, I want you, in every way, please say yes," I pleaded into his eyes as the person behind the desk grabbed our coats.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Edward, I promise you that," he replied softly, and he almost looked innocent, but I knew different.

"Put it on, or you'll catch a cold," I joked as I looked at what he was wearing, or not wearing to be precise.

When we were outside of the club, I pulled him impossibly closer to my own body, showing all the stragglers of the club that he was mine.

He gave me a sweet smile before reality dawned on me and I cursed.

"Emmett has my fucking car!" I growled as I searched for any sign of a cab.

"Mine's parked round the corner, baby, don't worry," he chuckled as he kissed me, tugging on his coat which remained partially open, teasing me with hints of his sculpted torso and that hot as fuck ink.

I had to pull away though. If there was any moment where I would take him, it would have been right now. I was so fucking hard for this man and I swear he didn't even have a clue.

"To your car, back to somewhere with a roof and a bed and then I can kiss you the way I want to," I growled as he chuckled.

"Yes, sir!" he laughed harder as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along the street.

A few minutes later and we were standing outside of dark blue Chevrolet 2010 Silverado 1500 Crew Cab. So I knew a lot about cars, sue me.

"That's a pretty piece of machinery," I mused as I walked Jasper back until his body was flush with the pick-up.

"It's for work," he mumbled as his hand snaked up my chest, along the length of my neck and into the hair on the back of my head.

Before I could even think about it, he pulled my head forward and crashed our lips together almost painfully.

I fought to take over his mouth with my tongue and I felt, rather than heard, his growl in reply as I won. I ran my bar over the roof of his mouth, seeking out places it hadn't met yet.

"Truck, now," I panted as I wanted to try out something else.

He fumbled for his keys as we pulled away from each other and he smirked when he dangled them in front of me.

"Get in the truck, Jasper, before I turn you around and fuck you on the hood of it," I growled.

A moment later we were both situated comfortably against the leather seats and he started it up as my mouth dropped open at the choice of music in his CD player. "Color Me Badd, Jasper?" I asked with amusement. He shrugged and gave me his signature grin.

"Sometimes it's good to go back to the glory days, and let's face it, replace all their 'girls' and 'shes' with 'boy' and 'he' and this album makes me think of you," he admitted.

_When I was lo__st_

_I could not see_

_All the beauty and wonder_

_There'd been around me_

_I was alone_

_Dreaming of you_

_Oh I could not imagine_

_This dream coming true_

"How long does it take to get back to your place?" I choked on my words as the lyrics sank in, but he shook his head.

"I'm not taking you there until I get a new bed ordered, we're going someplace else," he said as he smiled wickedly.

"Okay, I can see your logic, because quite frankly, I don't want to use anything associated with Snuffy, but please tell me where we're going," I almost pleaded as my dick started to weep for his touch while the song continued to float around us in the small space.

_Tears from my eyes,_

_Baby where have you been,_

_When I was hoping,_

_Was waiting for you,_

_To pull back the door,_

_To take me by the hand,_

_And lead me through._

"It's a surprise, but it'll take us about half hour to get there." He smiled and I swear it had me seeing fairies dancing on flowertops or some shit like that. The man was killing me and didn't even realize it. Then the song changed and I decided to hell with it, I wasn't waiting anymore, half an hour was plenty of time.

_Come inside, take off your coat_

_I'll make you feel at home_

_Now let's pour a glass of wine_

_'Cause now we're all alone_

I did wait until we were on the main highway and then I couldn't keep it in any longer.

"Jasper, how good is your driving?" I whispered as I turned my body enough to face him and I ran a finger down his arms slowly.

"Good enough, no accidents and not one ticket," he grinned in reply and that was it.

I wanted him, right this minute and in any way I could have him.

"Raise the wheel, Jasper," I asked firmly as I undid my seat belt and twisted my body full on to him.

_Let me take off all your clothes_

_Disconnect the phone so nobody knows, yeah_

_Let me light a candle so we can make it better_

_Makin' love until we drown, dig_

A few clicks later and the wheel was higher up, giving me plenty of room to move.

"Pay attention to the road," I growled as I pulled on the top button of his jeans, yanked harshly, causing all the other buttons to pop open. I spared a few seconds to take in the sight of him, finally. He was more beautiful than I'd imagined each time I'd felt him through his pants. He wasn't bare like me, but he kept his pubes neatly trimmed and close cropped and I was looking forward to feeling those hairs tickle my nose. Before either of us knew what was happening, I engulfed my mouth over his long shaft, taking every bit of him into me.

"Jesus Christ, Edward," he gasped as I made a point to have him hit the back of my throat. I gagged slightly, but the noise turned me on as I wrapped my tongue around him, running my bar over the veins that were sticking out.

_Make sweet lovin' all night long_

_(I wanna sex you up)_

_Feels so right it can't be wrong_

_Don't be shy _boy_, rescue me_

_(I wanna sex you up)_

_Open up your heart, and I'll set you free_

Christ, I would never get enough of this man?

I sucked down on him harder as his hips started to flex and soon, his hand was in my hair, his fingers wrapped tightly at the roots, guiding my head as he drove.

All I could hear in the truck was our moans and growls as I worked over him, leaving no inch of him undetected by my tongue or lips.

I wanted to desperately tug on his balls, but in this position, I couldn't do a thing and it pissed me the hell off.

"Oh shit, shit, Edward, fuck, _fuck!_" he cried out as the he came violently in my mouth as he slowed down and pulled over.

"Not good, not good," he panted out loudly and I was puzzled. The salty residue in my mouth told me that it _had _been good.

It was only when I sat up that I noticed the blue and red lights flashing behind us.

I chuckled deeply as he rushed to do up his jeans and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You, you are a bad influence," he grumbled, but I didn't miss the smile on his face.

"You love me," I chuckled in reply as a tap came on the window.

"That I do," he mused as he wound down the window.

I was momentarily stunned by his quick reply as he took out his license.

"Evening, officer," he mumbled as he handed it over and smiled sheepishly.

"May I ask why you swerved back there, young man?" The husky voice made me smile as I flicked on the interior light and laughed.

"Good evening, Officer Swan!"

**Remember... you love us... and road head! Blog will be updated in a bit :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**SURPRISE! We thought a little celebration was in order… for SEVERAL reasons! But we'll let you read first and then bombard you at the end : )**

**JPOV **

_I shot the Sheriff, but I didn't shoot the deputy_

_All around in my hometown, they're trying to track me down_

_They say they want to bring me in guilty_

_for the killing of a deputy_

_for the life of a deputy, but I say:_

_I shot the Sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defense_

I was so pissed that I had been pulled over, but at the same time, I was in seventh heaven.

It was, without a doubt, the best blow job I had ever had, and it was all down to Edward and his glorious mouth.

"Good evening, Officer Swan!" Edward said happily, just after he turned on the harsh lights, causing me to squint against them.

"Edward, my boy, long time no see!" the officer called back as he walked around to Edward's side of the truck and Edward got out.

They hugged tightly and there was no way I was missing this.

I wanted to know who the hell this was and how Edward knew this porn 'tash wielding man.

Once I was out of the truck and round to Edward's side, he pulled me into his arms as they talked a mile a minute about fuck knows what. Sports, business, the crime rate, you name it and they got going on it as I stood by. Officer Swan even sat on the hood of my truck!

"Jasper, this is Charlie, Bella's dad. He was like a second father to me when we were growing up." Edward smiled fondly as the news sunk in that this man was her father.

"You know Bella?" he asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah, look at what she did the other day," Edward said proudly as he sexily smirked at me and tugged back the side of my jacket to reveal my ink.

"Damn, you two are serious," Charlie said with a smile at the pair of us.

"As a heart attack, Charlie," Edward laughed in reply as he pulled me back into his embrace and kissed the side of my head.

"So, where are the two of you headed?" he asked as he handed back my license with a smile.

"A romantic getaway for the weekend, Sir," I said quietly.

"Charlie, call me Charlie. Sir makes me feel that you're in trouble," he chuckled as he looked at Edward, "Hmm, maybe if you're hanging about with Edward, you _are _in trouble," he smirked at Edward and he blushed.

"Really?" I asked with my own small smile.

"Oh yeah, this lanky kid here gave me no end of grief when he was growing up, but he was good for Bella, so I let him off, most of the time anyway," he laughed.

I wanted to know more about him and Bella. I wasn't jealous in any way. She might have been his past, but I was his present and future.

"You'll have to fill me in on that in the future." I smiled again and Edward kissed the top of my head.

"Talking of the future, Charlie, there's a game on next week, why don't you come around with a few beers, we can make a proper night of it," Edward invited him and you could see the light in Charlie's eyes.

"I'll see what I can do," he chuckled as he slid off the hood and started to walk away.

"Oh and boys, no more blow jobs on the highway, I don't want to be picking up your body parts," he said as he threw us a laugh and got into his cruiser.

"Did that all just happen?" I asked with a laugh as we got back into the truck.

"Yeah, Charlie is a good man and a great father," he said with a smile as I pulled away from the side of the road and carried on our journey.

It didn't take us long to get to the cabin that I had rented out for the rest of the weekend and as we got closer, my breathing changed.

I was almost panting by the time we pulled up.

Edward's eyes were bugging a little and then he cocked that boxer dropping grin at me. "I suppose it's not a problem that I don't have clothes because if we have this place to ourselves... I'm not letting you get dressed until we leave."

I laughed and explained that I'd met his brother earlier today, after he'd raided Edward's place to pack him a bag.

"You really thought all this out?" he said in quiet awe and I nodded.

We sat there quietly for a few minutes before we got out.

"This is it, where we're staying?" he asked softly as I took his hand, grabbed our bags from the back and walked us to the front door.

"Yeah, it's not much, but the old woman that owns it made sure that there was enough food and it has a bed," I chuckled nervously as I grabbed the key from under the mat.

"Don't be nervous, baby, I think it's wonderful. No one has ever done anything like this for me before," Edward said gently as he leant forward and kissed me just as gently as his words.

"Thank-you," he said as he pulled away.

"You're welcome," I said as I unlocked the door and pulled us through.

The smell of fresh wood filled the room and when I switched on the lights, I smiled at the homely feel to it.

None of the furniture matched and there were multi-colored, crocheted throws over the backs of the chairs, but it was perfect.

All of a sudden I felt like a teenager on prom night.

**EPOV **

I could literally feel the nervousness roll off of him as he put the bag down on the small rocking chair in the corner.

I had meant what I said when I told him that no one had ever done anything like this for me before.

It made me fall harder for him, it really did.

"Come here, baby," I said as I held out my hands for him to take.

The seriousness crashed around me when I realized that this was it.

There was no other barrier standing in our way now, nothing.

"Is it okay to say that I'm nervous? I mean, I want this, more than anything, but nothing is causing a road block with us now." He chuckled nervously as I picked up his bag and led him through the small space to what I hoped was the bedroom.

"Nope, bathroom," I chuckled as I shut the door on the small space and sought out the right door.

I found it a second later and put the bag beside the bed and turned to face him as he leaned against the wall just to the side of the door.

"Jasper, I know we've had our laughs, we've had pink crazy girlfriends and sex toys, but this is us, just us two, standing here. You're still the same man I fell in love with, even more once I saw your ink. That was such a permanent thing that you did for me, so let me do this for you," I said huskily as I started to push his jacket off his shoulders.

When that was done, I gently kissed the ink before starting on his jeans. I unbuttoned and opened them before I knelt down to undo the laces on his shoes and pulled them off, along with his socks. Then I helped him slide his jeans off, leaving him standing there, looking up at me bashfully from under his lashes as I stood back and took in the sight of him in his sexy drawers. He even got playful and perched a hand on his ass as he hooked his thumb in the edge of his underwear.

_Fuck, the things I was going to do to him._

"I love you too, Edward. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I suppose if I'm going to fall, I want to do it properly," he chuckled nervously as he leant forward and captured my lips with his again.

I was still dressed, but I didn't care. I rose up off of my knees, keeping my lips touched to his as I took his hand and led him to the bed, pushing him back, covering his body with mine.

I'd wanted this for so long and I didn't want to rush it. I wanted to savor this, worship him and his body, and feel every inch of him as we claimed each other.

I pulled away for a brief moment to pull my own shirt off and yank open my jeans. As I worked on my clothes, he watched me while lifting his hips to pull those tightie whities, that were sexy as hell on him... off. With a flick of his wrist, they landed somewhere across the room.

I finally freed my jeans from my body as I moved in to cover him again.

Skin to skin.

It felt fucking amazing.

"What do you want from me, Jasper, what can we give each other?" I asked huskily as I ground my cock against his.

"Everything."

I would give him anything he wanted, gladly.

He whimpered as I pulled away and latched my mouth onto the skin of his neck, nibbling and sucking as I went lower and lower.

"Jesus, more, please, Edward," he cried gently into the dark as his hips bucked and twisted in an attempt to find my cock.

I could have teased him, tortured him with pleasure, but I just couldn't.

We had both waited so long for this.

I let my fingers snake down his glorious body to find his cock. I wanted to play with it, suck it again, and lather it in saliva. It was my new sex toy.

"Edward, if you value my sanity, you'll do something because I'm just about to explode with frustration," he groaned out with a chuckle as I pushed down on his perineum. That piece of skin might have been small, but it was so sensitive. I watched intently as he tensed and relaxed as I probed.

"You want more, baby?" I laughed lightly against his skin as I licked up the length of his cock.

"Please," he panted, parting his legs further for me as he reached for me at the same time.

I pulled my mouth back to figure out what he wanted. "Tell me, Jasper."

"Turn around, Edward; I need to suck your cock. I need to taste you again... it's been too long," he begged.

_Have I mentioned that I love this man?_

As he scooted down, making room for me, I twisted around and swung my leg over his head, letting my cock bob just above his mouth.

He wasted no time opening his mouth and wrapping his lips over my head, his tongue immediately starting to lap at my piercing, making me shudder as I fell forward to return the favor.

No sooner did I have his tasty cock back in my mouth, than I moved my hands under his balls, seeking out his pleasure hole for the first time.

Only, the path was blocked.

By a fucking pink jewel.

**Well now! Before you start throwing the lappies or booking tickets to Texas or England, hear us out…**

**We typed those dreaded words yesterday… THE END. 23 Chapters total… with 23 ending exactly where the Toysper Goes to Greece sequel picks up. (you've made your donation to fandoms4autism . blogspot . com right?) We've only submitted chapter 1 (which is about 3k words long) to the compilation, but plan to have the rest of it ready to go once we are released to post to this profile. Anyways… here's where ya'll get to make a choice:**

**We can continue with Monday postings for the next 5 weeks or**

**We can do one a day next week, starting Monday with the final chapter posting on Friday.**

**Let us know what you want… majority will call it!**

**The other reason we have for celebration? Because ya'll ROCK! Boys has been nominated in three different categories in the Wordsmith Awards!**

**Best Overall Story**

**Best Non Canon Story **

**Best Edward!**

**Voting will be open May 17****th****-26****th**** at **wordsmithawards . blogspot . co . uk / p / voting . html

We'll see all you lovelies on Monday!


	19. Chapter 19

**Ya'll have been waiting VERY patiently (okay, some of you not so patiently) for this chapter... so we'll yap at the end...**

**EPOV**

"Jasper, love?" I asked as I pulled off his dick.

"Hmmm?" he mumbled around my cock.

"What is this?" I tapped on the pink stone and he groaned loudly, the vibrations traveling up my cock and straight to my gut.

"Iss a pug," he mumbled again and I laughed, which forced my cock down his throat a little further, which caused him to choke, which made his throat constrict around me, which made me buck again.

I pulled out of his mouth and rolled to the side before I killed him, by making him strangle on my meat.

Lifting my head, I found him doing the same with a cheesy grin plastered to his face as he licked his lips that were already swollen from our kissing and from stretching around me.

I cocked my brow at him as I reached over and twisted the plug. "Were you planning on getting lucky tonight?" I teased.

"You bet my sweet ass I was!" he quipped back without any hesitation, his grin fading into a lip biting moan as I pulled the plug out, twisted it again and pushed it back in.

"Pink? I thought we were done with all things pink?"

He gave me a half shrug as he dropped back onto the bed, moaning louder as I toyed with the plug some more. "You gave me the damn thing," he panted, "it was all I had,"_gasp _"the best I could do," _moan _" to stretch myself for you," he admitted breathily and my flames steamed under the heat.

Jasper noticed the dewdrop bubble out and dribble down in a string as it caught on the ball of metal, rolling to his side so he could dart his tongue out and catch it before it hit the bedspread. I thrust my hips forward, burying my cock in his mouth as I yanked the plug completely out and tossed it to the side.

I pried his legs apart as he swallowed me down and I licked my lips at the gaping hole staring back at me when I turned my attention to his ass. I moved in, plunging my tongue deep into that gape and moaned as my tongue was flooded with the flavor of cherries and Jasper.

With my tongue dipped into him, pushed in as far as I could stretch it, I closed my lips over him, forming a suction against him as I pulsed my tongue in and out, slurping at the tangy sweetness. He was continuing to suck forcefully on my cock and it seemed that with every sucking pull he took on me, it cycled around, forcing my tongue deeper into him.

We alternated between trying to thrust deeper against the other and trying to squirm away when it became too much sensation. Our writhing and thrashing resulted in my foot hitting the clock radio on the night stand, sending us into fits of laughter of when the radio blared loudly:

_K-i-s-s-i-n-g_

_Chicka chicka dee_

_Do me like a banshee_

_Low brow is how_

_Swimming in the sound _

_Of bow wow wow_

_Aw baby do me now_

_Do me here I do allow_

**JPOV**

Getting lost in laughter with Edward, amidst a fuckhot make out session, had to be the single most happy experience I'd had. His eyes glistened with his tears, making them sparkle in the dim light of the room.

He crawled up my body, prowling over me like a wild feline until his lips lingered just above mine. With a playful gleam in his eye, he lowered his hips, pressing his dick firmly against mine, slowly and steadly as he dusted his lips back and forth across mine.

"Your mouth was made to suck my kiss, Jasper," he whispered before he pushed his tongue into my mouth at the same time that the tip of his cock applied pressure against my hole, stretching me, threatening to split me wide open.

"Fuck," Edward croaked as he pulled back, sitting on his heels. "You drive me to distraction, I almost forgot a condom."

"Screw it, Edward. I'm clean, and so are you, right?" I knew I'd brought the damn things but I really didn't want to stop right now to go dig them out. We'd both waited too long for this moment.

He nodded slowly whispering that he was clean.

"Then make love to me, Edward. Please... no more stopping, no more holding back. I need this," I practically begged, desperate to feel us joined at last.

"You're sure?" he asked and I nodded my head rapidly.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life, Edward."

He crawled forward, coming to place a soft kiss over my eyebrow where the area was still slightly swollen and sore from the piercing. "That's hot, you know that right?" I could feel his lips turned up in a smile against my temple. "So hot, in fact, that I think we need to go see Bella again and get you some more steel," he said as his lips moved to my ear, biting and tugging on the lobe.

"Yeah?" He nodded. "Where else?" I encouraged him as his lips left a trail of kisses and bites down my neck, over my collarbone and across my chest.

"Here," he decided as he flicked his tongue over my right nipple, making my back arch up into him just as he caught my hardened nub between his teeth and pulled.

"Shit," I whimpered and he chuckled as he released me and moved across my chest, his lips just barely grazing my skin, leaving a heated moist trail behind. He paused to tenderly kiss the center of my tattoo and then moved to my left nipple. "And here," he said as he didn't even give me the warm up of a tongue flicking this time, he just bit, then rolled my nipple across the bar in his tongue... and it felt amazing.

"Mmmm, I think I could handle that," I gasped as I brought my hand up to grip the back of his head and press him against my chest.

He lingered there, teasing my nipple until it almost hurt, but still felt good. So good.

"Anywhere else you want me pierced?" I asked as I clasped his head in my both of my hands and pulled him towards me for another kiss. As his tongue swirled and danced with mine, he nodded, letting his fingers slide down my torso and slip between my legs. He toyed with my ball sac before moving back to my rigid hole and slipped two fingers into me, scissoring and stretching me.

"I'd love for you to get a series of bars around this hole," he punctuated his words by adding a third finger as he pushed all of them into me as deeply as he could. "It would feel absolutely amazing every time I pushed my cock into you, to have not only your tight muscle gripping me, but to feel that steel digging into me as I slid in...

I cut him off by shoving my tongue back into his mouth as I rolled him over onto his back. I straddled his waist, feeling the head of his dick poking at my ass. I kept kissing him as I got myself positioned just right, reaching around behind me to grab his length and line him up. I felt the metal slipping just under the tight skin of his dick and trembled to think how that was going to feel inside me in mere moments.

I broke the kiss as I sat up, feeling that first amazing stretch and sting as his engorged head slipped inside of me. He clenched his eyes shut and I ceased my movement. "Open your eyes and look at me, Edward."

**EPOV**

At his command, my eyes shot open and I almost came just from the intensity of his eyes as they raked over me. Keeping my eyes locked on his, I raised my hands in front of me, wiggling my fingers towards him. He caught on and threaded his hands through mine, till our palms were pressed tightly against each other. I gave him a small nod and he resumed.

Ever so fucking slowly he slid down onto me, stopping every inch or so for us both to catch our breaths. His cock was jutting out hard and proud from between his thighs. It was purple and swollen and I swear that with every inch of me he took in, his cock grew before my eyes. I almost feared he would burst.

At least it would burst all over me if he did.

I tugged on his hands, pulling myself up as I pulled him closer. Our hands fell apart as I latched mine on his waist just above his hips and his moved around my neck, one threading into the back of my hair as the other cradled the back of my neck.

We were as close as we could get, but it still wasn't enough, so I brought my lips to his as our eyes never wavered.

Would it always be like this, this connection?

I fucking hoped so.

"Jesus, Edward," Jasper moaned against my lips as I helped him rock his hips back and forth, slowly, but deeply. "I want it all, but I want to save it too," he gasped as I pushed him downwards as I tried to push up a little more, to get in as deep as I could.

I knew how he felt, I really did. I wanted to hit that high with him, but I didn't want to come too soon. I wanted to savor everything with him, but experience it, all at the same time.

"Edward… Please," he cried out against my lips as his hips started a rhythm of their own.

"Not yet, baby, not yet," I moaned back, desperate to keep this going to give him all the pleasure that I could.

"I can't, I can't hold off, please!" he whimpered as my own orgasm started to hit.

"Show me, baby, show me," I murmured, pulling his face back to mine, kissing him fiercely as I pulled him down harder onto my straining cock.

And he did, we both showed each other how much we meant to each other in that final moment.

_Birds flying high_

_You know how I feel_

_Sun in the sky_

_You know how I feel_

_Breeze driftin' on by_

_You know how I feel_

_It's a new dawn_

_It's a new day_

_It's a new life_

_For me.._

_And I'm feeling good_

**A/N: So, was it good for you too? Hehe. The resounding majority for the remaining posting was one a day for the duration of the week...so we will hold off replying to reviews until the end. Don't forget, all the chapters have images and you tube links on the blog at www . toyward . blogspot . com (take out the spaces).**

**After we post on Friday, we won't see ya'll again until June 30th, when we'll be cleared by the admins at the fandoms4autism to post chapter one of the sequel, Toysper Goes to Greece.**

**Thank you to everyone who has made this crazy journey so much more fun for us!**

**xoxo**

**TrueEnglishRose and texasbella**


	20. Chapter 20

**OMG, you lot are amazing, did you know that? **

**You have us both on the verge of wetting ourselves with laughter!**

**Anyway, enough of my chat, let's get on with it :)**

**JPOV **

I woke up the following morning hot, sticky and with a dead weight pinning me to the mattress.

Edward.

I smiled with pure bliss as I thought about our evening last night.

Four times we had made love.

Okay, three times we made sweet love, the fourth time was pure carnal fucking, but you would have done the same thing if you had seen Edward come out of the bathroom, all wet and naked.

I just couldn't stop myself.

I pounced on him there and then and gave him the best damn blow job I could as his body pushed itself up against the door frame... again.

I then proceeded to fuck him over the footboard of the bed. He'd had me the last two times, hence the shower, and after swallowing his man milk down, I'd found myself with yet another hard on. I was convinced his jizz was laced with some naturally occurring Viagra that only Edward produced.

He hadn't resisted, in fact, as soon as he'd noticed my bobbing hard on, he'd bent himself over that bed and wiggled his luscious ass at me, opening himself for my pleasure as he actually begged, "Take me, fuck me, pound me to the ground!" Hey, what my man wanted, my man got.

After I'd cum deep inside him, I'd collapsed onto the bed, on my back, as I tried to slow my breathing. I'd broken out in a sweat from drilling him so hard and my legs were shaky.

Imagine my surprise when Edward was ready to go again... NOT.

He'd licked me up and down, dragging his tongue towards my mouth as he caught my legs over his arms, spreading me for him so he could glide into my now well stretched orifice.

Where minutes before had been fueled by a frantic and lust driven passion, this final time before we succumbed to sleep had been a slow, sensual and love driven passion.

We hadn't even worked out who was going to top or bottom in our relationship, we just did what came naturally at the time.

And talking of naturally, I needed a piss.

Slowly extracting myself from Edward's hold, I made my way to the bathroom.

I smiled as I walked past the offending door frame.

Oh the things we could do to each other.

We had only just started this between us and it was mind-blowing and I knew it would only get better.

Finishing up in the bathroom, I thought about fixing my tired man a good hearty breakfast before we went out on a nature walk.

No, not the kind where you're naked, as good as it sounded, but just a good old fashioned walk into the natural world. No cars, shops or people. Just the good outdoors with the wildlife.

_I wonder if he wouldn't mind fucking me over a boulder or up against a tree?_ I thought as I looked around the kitchen to see what I could cook.

I decided on toast, eggs and bacon and made a start.

I loved to cook, I really did.

"How domesticated," Edward's croaky voice made me jump and as I turned around, it was like he was my magnetic north to my dick. It instantly hardened and pointed right to him under my boxer shorts.

I looked up to his eyes and saw that they were still half closed, but I didn't think that it was down to feeling sleepy. This was Edward's _come to bed eyes _look, literally.

"Not yet, baby, I need to feed you first!" I joked as I hunted down the plates and cutlery before he could grab hold of me and drag me back to the bed.

"You don't play fair," he pouted sexily and I tried so hard to just keep my feet in one place, but them, like my cock, just wanted him so damn much.

An hour later, with breakfast burnt and us both sexually satisfied, we pulled up to the nearest diner for food and coffee.

"I can't believe your burnt our breakfast," he chided playfully as my eyes widened and then narrowed as I had the errant thought that I could only put out one flame at a time... and Edward's flame happened to have been the more enticing of the two.

"Well… I can't believe you fucked me over the poor woman's kitchen table. I just hope to God that the salt and pepper shakers weren't antiques," I laughed as a waitress pawed over Edward when she took our order.

I rolled my eyes playfully as he flirted shamelessly with her and gave her our order.

"You're lucky I'm not the jealous sort," I laughed.

"Shame really, I could do with angry jealous sex," he chuckled a little too loudly as the waitress walked past our table. We heard her shoes squeak on the floor and she stumbled, luckily not dropping the plates that she had.

"You are so rude," I laughed, "it's a good job I love you." I smiled softly as his eyes widened slightly.

We didn't make a point of romanticizing our love. I heard him say it to me the other night and I wanted to say it back. I knew he loved me and I loved him. That's all that we needed.

Our food was delivered a little while later, by another waitress this time, and she scared the ever living shit out of me.

Trust me, Barbie had _nothing_ on her.

When we had finished eating, and of course palming each other's cocks under the table, we made our way back to the truck to start our day.

**EPOV **

"Never again!" I gasped as I clutched a stitch in my side.

We had been walking for what felt like hours and I was breaking out in a sweat that wasn't sex induced, so I was not happy.

On the plus side, Jasper had the most beautiful smile on his face as we reached the top of the treeless hill.

"Wow," I gasped again as I looked out to the view.

"It beats city life, doesn't it," he smiled at me as he pulled the backpack off and set it down on the stony ground.

"Shit, just a bit, Jasper. How did you know about this place?" I asked as I saw the small winding river running through the valley below us.

"I had a job not too long ago on some land just to the north and one day I went to have a look at the land to see if it told me anything," he mused as he started to unpack some provisions.

"Told you anything?" I snorted as I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Mhmm, you can tell a lot by the land if you look," he smiled back as he kissed me gently.

"Well, I don't know if I can learn anything from it, but it is a beautiful view, Jasper, so thank-you for bringing me here today," I said as I kissed him back.

See, not everything we shared was wacky or funny. We had our moments, and we would have many, many more, I would make sure of it.

_**~(*)~**_

Despite my trying, we were totally innocent on the top of the hill. I'd nuzzled his ear from behind as I let my fingers toy with his waistband. I'd toyed with _my_ waistband, tugging my shorts down to expose my V and run my fingers along it.

I thought that one was working when he smiled and knelt in front of me. But all he did was lay a soft kiss on my abs, just below my belly button, before standing up and taking my hand as he led me back to the trail.

I pouted all the way back down to the bottom and even that didn't work.

Although, I thought I had him when I yanked him off the trail at one point and pushed him against a tree. My tongue was down his throat and my hand was weaving its way into his pants when we heard it.

_I went hiking with Joe Spivy_

_He developed poison ivy_

_You remember Leonard Skinner_

_He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner._

Being sung in a loud off key round robin by a group of teenage hikers. You know we hopped back out on the trail and joined in on that shit!

By then Jasper wanted to get frisky, he really did, as much as I did, but we continued to meet several people on the way back down, including children, and neither of us wanted to scar the little kiddies.

That didn't stop me when we got back to the little cabin though.

Oh hell no.

I took him in the bath, which proved funny because it was tiny, but hey, we were both _very_ tenacious, and then he had me on the back deck just after we finished dinner as we watched the sunset.

We couldn't keep our hands off of each other and shockingly, we hadn't used any toys yet either. We had all the time in the world for that. For now, we just wanted to explore and get to know each other's bodies without any enhancements, piercings excluded.

I heard his phone chirp inside the cabin and reluctantly let him out of my arms as he got up to investigate. He came back a minute later, the smile that had brightened his face all weekend, nowhere to be found.

"Edward, I just had a text from work. I need to go into the office first thing on Tuesday morning," Jasper said, void of any emotion and it set the alarm bells ringing. I knew what he did for a job.

"Where do they want you to go?" I asked, keeping my voice level.

"Athens."

**Oh come on, just picture it, Jasper in a toga…. hehehe**

**Ready for more tomorrow?**

**On another note, if you're up for a lot of kink, canon, non-canon, f/f slash, slash threesomes, foursomes etc…. How about you check a new story by me, TrueEnglishRose. It's called Lights Camera Interaction and can be found if you look under our fave authors, go on, give it a go Hehehe**

**Until tomorrow! **

**TrueEnglishRose & Texasbella**

**xXx**


	21. Chapter 21

**Good morning lovely readers! Oh you are so good to us! All your lovely reviews yesterday had us laughing so hard! hehehe.  
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**Let's get on with it, shall we?  
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><p><strong>EPOV <strong>

Jasper refused to let his news from work affect the rest of the time that we had at the cabin, but I still couldn't shake the mood I was in, and by the time we got to bed, he'd had enough of me.

"Edward, it's for a few days, that's all," he chastised. "Their site manager got food poisoning and there has to be some management there because they're shoring up the sides of the dig. I have to go," he said in a pleading voice as he kissed against the frown on my lips.

"But I feel as though I've just gotten you and now you're going out of the country. Can't they send anyone else?" I whined petulantly as he pulled me into his arms.

I knew that I was acting like a spoilt brat at Christmas, but I didn't care.

"They can't send anyone else, they don't _have_ anyone else, Edward," he chuckled against my lips as I pursed them and refused to kiss him back, "and besides, think of all the hot phone sex we could have over the course of those days," he chuckled as I let my lips relax just a hint.

"That does have a nice appeal to it, but I still don't like the idea of you going," I pouted one last time before I fully relaxed and then kissed him hard.

"I'm going to miss seeing you in a toga." I smiled against his lips as he laughed.

"I will not be wearing a toga, Edward. Just jeans and a shirt." He smirked.

"Damn shame, togas seem like they have easy access points." I chuckled.

"You want me to have easy access points in Athens while you'll be here?" It was his turn to pout.

"Hell no! No one gets to touch what is mine, but it would be good for those phone calls that you mentioned." I smiled.

"Very good point indeed, Mr. Cullen," he replied and at the mention of my name on his lips, our discussion was over and the sex started... again.

But in the back of my mind, I was forming a plan.

**JPOV**

I was aching.

Half was because Edward liked to try some really awkward positions and the other half was because on Wednesday, I would be flying out to Athens until Saturday.

I could cope with the positions because they were funny as hell and it was good to laugh during sex, but Athens was another matter.

I saw his point very clearly. After everything that we had been through, we were finally together and this popping up right now was not a good thing.

I did ask Edward to come with me, but he had orders turning up that he couldn't change and shutting the shop for nearly a week wasn't good business, especially after the days he'd already been closed down during our 'separation'.

By the following morning we were both sulking and I hated it.

"Webcams, phones, text messages, we can do it all you know. We can really have some fun with this," I said half-heartedly as I dished up breakfast onto our plates.

"I know, but I like waking up next to you," he pouted again and he was lucky that I didn't swipe everything off of the table and have my way with him again.

"True, but you have to remember that we're not living together, so we wouldn't always be waking up next to each other and with us both working, we wouldn't exactly be spending majority of the day together either," I tried again to soften the blow of our upcoming time apart.

He came over and took the spoon from my hand and dropped it on the counter, before grabbing my hand and holding it against his ink as he gingerly placed his hand over my ink. "Why not?'

"Why not what?" I asked, not sure where he was going with this.

"Why aren't we living together? Well, making plans to live together, that is," he said sincerely.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe because we've just finally officially gotten together..." I was cut off by his fingers pressing against my lips as his other hand pressed into my chest, causing a brief stinging.

"I think this ink on our chests speaks loud and clear about what our future entails, don't you?" His voice had deepened, become husky and once again, I couldn't resist him.

Another breakfast was forgotten as we feasted on each other, accidentally breaking one of the breakfast stools in the process.

Don't ask.

I'm just glad my ankle didn't break when it got twisted in the legs.

**EPOV**

"But I don't want to go home," Jasper pouted petulantly as I pulled up to his home and killed the engine.

"I know, but I won't be long. I just need to check on a few things at the store and then I'll be back, I promise. And when I do get back, hopefully your new bed would have been delivered and we can have a little fun checking out the density of the mattress," I chuckled as I picked up his hand and kissed the back of it.

"I'm hard again, in fact, I think you might have slipped something into my coffee this morning," he smirked at me as I winked.

"You never know, Jasper, you never know," I wiggled my eyebrows, making him laugh. "Right, are you sure it's okay to borrow your truck? I wouldn't ask, but I have no idea where my brother, or my own car, is," I playfully growled out as I thought about Emmett just driving off with my car.

Bastard.

"Of course it is, and it also gives you an excuse to come back." It was his turn to wiggle his brows, but as I went to kiss him, he pulled away.

"If I kiss you now, I will want to fuck you now, and you have work to do and I have to pack," he whined and I had to fight not to spill the beans to alleviate his discomfort.

Instead, I kissed him briefly, but firmly, and stepped away. With the strength of an ox, I turned and walked back to the truck and drove the relatively short distance back to The Lion's Den. I couldn't believe he'd been _that_ close all this time.

Thankfully, my weekend kid, Barb, had made it in and had been here to receive the shipments, even if he hadn't inventoried and stocked the merchandise.

Now, I thought that when I hired Barb, his name suited his personality. He was a complete emo and I had respect for his ink and metal, but he was a quiet kid. Very quiet. It wasn't until I asked him his last name and he told me it was Dwyer, that I almost pissed myself laughing on the spot.

_Barb Dwyer._

_BarbD Wyre_

_Barbed Wire._

He just shrugged and said that since he had to live with a fucked up girl's name, thanks to his parent's sense of humor, he'd play the part and make his personality fit his name.

Chuckling to myself, I grabbed the box cutter and opened each box, doing a quick dig through each one to confirm the packing slips. I typed up, and printed out, instructions for Barb, then took a deep breath and moved to the next step in my plan. Emmett.

It took several minutes of deep rimming, ass kissing compliments and pleading to get Emmett to agree. But, by the time we hung up, he had agreed to cover the shop for the next three weeks.

It was only going to cost me a grand worth of products and free babysitting for life, if and when he and Rosalie procreated.

It was totally fucking worth it.

My next call was to my contact for high end erotic jewelry. I described exactly what I wanted, and the size I needed them in, and he promised it would be ready to be picked up in the morning.

That left the call to the airlines and we were set. I Googled the remaining information I needed and walked out of The Den, with fucking pogo sticks strapped to the bottom of my shoes. Figuratively people.

I arrived back at his place less than ten minutes later. He opened the door, operatic strains that I vaguely recognized drifting from behind him, dressed in my favorite outfit... nothing.

_Night-time sharpens, heightens each sensation ... _

_Darkness stirs and wakes imagination ... _

_Silently the senses abandon their defenses ... _

I was on my knees as I shoved the door closed behind me before he could say 'hello.' My lips, and then my tongue, wrapped around him tightly, forcing him to buck against my face. I gave him a gentle bite and he bucked again. With each pass of my lips over his cock, he thickened and swelled in my mouth. I continued my attack on his length, his scent and taste affecting me like a cat that has found the mother load of catnip.

_Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams! _

_Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before! _

_Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar! _

_And you'll live as you've never lived before .._.

Knowing he was close, I pulled off and stood up. "I need to feel you, love. Please, for the love of Ron Jeremy, fuck me now!" I begged with no shame.

"Ron Jeremy, huh?" he said as he grinned sexily at me and I nodded desperately. "He's got shit on you, love. Please..."

"As you wish, buttercup," he growled as he hooked my left leg over his right arm. His slick head was pressing against my ass and I was beginning to open to him when he stopped.

"Is this what you want, Edward? My thick," _he pressed his lips to mine briefly,_ "hard," _his tongue flicked against my lips and they parted in response,_ "throbbing cock," _he rocked forward, that bulging head breaching my outer ring,_ "buried, oh. so. deep inside you?" With each word he pressed forward, sinking deeper into my ass until I finally felt his balls smushing against my ass.

_Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world! _

_Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before! _

_Let your soul _

_Take you where you long to be! _

_Only then can you belong to me ... _

"Oh fucking hell, Jasper!" I cried out as he withdrew slowly, so excruciatingly slowly. I just wanted him to fuck the ever loving hell out of me as my back pressed against the front door and he wanted to tease me.

_Payback was going to be delicious hell._

"Yeah, babe?" He grinned dangerously at me.

"Fuck me. I so need you to throttle my ass with your thick cock!" I barely got the words out before he was slamming back into me, yanking himself almost out and then thrusting forward as my body erupted in electrical surges of energy. My fingers and toes went numb as he pummeled me. My eyes rolled back, his lips dropped open and the dirtiest words I'd ever heard from him, spewed forth as his hand found its way around my throbbing member.

He jerked me in an uncontrolled manner as we rocked against each other, each desperate for our own pleasure, but not caring about it as we strived to satisfy the other.

_Floating, falling, sweet intoxication! _

_Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation! _

_Let the dream begin, _

_let your darker side give in to the power of _

_the music that I write - the power of the music of the night ... _

My swollen cock bulged and throbbed in his hand just before gooey, white globs began shooting from the gaping eye that split my purple head.

I dropped my head forward, licking my lips each time my spunk hit them as he started jack hammering me and then abruptly stilled as my ass stretched impossibly tightly against his swelling cock that then pulsed as my ass filled.

_You alone can make my song take flight - _

_help me make the music of the night ... _

My heart was racing, my vision was blurry, but as his lips sought mine, everything came into focus.

He slipped out of me, carefully lowering my leg before taking my hand. Silently, as the song came to an end, he led me to his shower where we worshiped each other with only the touch of our hands and the look of adoration in our eyes.

Of course, the thought that I was pretty sure Andrew Lloyd Weber did not have this particular scene in mind when he wrote those lyrics crossed through my head... but I kept it to myself and just enjoyed my man.

My love.

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><p><strong>Altogether now... Awwwwwwww.<strong>

**I bet you didn't think we'd use a song like that! hehe. But it was perfect, don't you think?**

**Until tomorrow beautiful ones :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**One more to go *wails and rocks in a corner*  
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**BUT! Please please please (!) Read the extremely important AN at the bottom! hehehe  
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><p><strong>JPOV<strong>

I was miserable.

I was even more miserable than when I had been with Maggie, and _that _was fucking saying something.

It was the night before I had to go away for a few days and I hated the fucking clock.

It kept on ticking away, second by second, telling me how much time I had left with Edward before my plane would take off.

I should have been more grown up about it, knowing that it was only for a few days and that I could cope with that, but I couldn't.

Since the second I had walked into his shop, he had owned me, body, heart and soul.

"Go to sleep," he groaned in my ear sleepily as I stared up at the ceiling.

Our first official sleepover in my new bed, in my own house and I was still awake, despite the amazing sex we'd had against my front door. _Hell, the way his bar had felt wrapping around my dick... shit, now I was getting hard again._

"Okay, enough. Tell me what's wrong or I'll fuck it out of you," he rolled over onto his stomach and propped himself up onto his elbows.

"And that's supposed to make me tell you? I'd prefer to keep my mouth shut and deal with the consequences," I laughed as he rolled his eyes.

He was so damn beautiful, even with just the street light across his face.

"Okay, so how about I _won't _fuck you until you tell me?" He smirked as he scooted closer to me and ran his tongue over my nipple, getting it to harden expertly.

"Damn," I hissed as his teeth grazed it gently.

"Hmm? Gonna tell me?" You couldn't miss the playfulness in his voice.

"I don't want to go. For the first time in my life I want to quit my job and stay in bed all day and I know I can't do that." I frowned as his face became serious.

"Of course you can quit. You can come and help me run the store. I'm sure we'd have plenty of fun trying out the new stock," he winked as he deposited a kiss just under my belly button.

"Be serious, Edward. You'd have no stock left and spend all your profits on Anal Eaze cream," I joked, but in reality, I kinda liked the idea of being around him all of the time.

"Well, it's something to think about," he smiled as his mouth latched around my now aching cock.

Damn, the man had mad skills.

After round two, I finally passed out, snuggled in Edward's arms.

**EPOV**

As comfortable as I was when I woke up, I knew I needed to get going. Today was going to be a big day... huge... and I needed to get it started just right. Couldn't have my man telling me 'no' because it wasn't special enough.

I slipped Jasper's arm off my waist, quickly tucking my warm pillow under it to replace me. _As if I could be replaced by a mere pillow._

I grabbed my things, found a note pad to leave him a quick note in case he woke up, and was out the door. I was finding I rather liked driving his truck.

I fumbled through his tapes, yes tapes, needed to upgrade him to a CD player pronto... and shook my head at the amount of 'old school' stuff. Where was Linkin Park and Tool? I found one that had promise and popped it in, turned it up and raced off to my meeting with Mr. Brandon.

_You rocked my world, you know you did_

_And everything I own I give (You rocked my world)_

_The rarest love who'd think I'd find_

_Someone like you to call mine (You rocked my world)_

As usual, I found that Mr. Brandon had gone above and beyond. When I arrived at his jewelry store, he had put together a selection for me to choose from. I'd thought I'd wanted a single diamond, but when I saw the channel set diamonds framed in black platinum, I knew that was the one and I couldn't wait to put it on Jasper.

I paid him, grinned like a fool as he congratulated me and practically skipped back out to the truck. Next, I drove over to the small family owned diner that had been around since I was a kid, Alice's Diner, and picked up two cups of their southern pecan iced coffee along with two servings of their charlotte russe cake. Cake for breakfast _is_ okay when it's ladyfingers and fruit.

When I explained to Charlie, the owner's daughter, what I was up to, she insisted I also take a couple of the fresh red roses she'd brought in from her garden that morning. In thanks, I insisted she bring her fiancé', Jacob, around to the store for some free shopping.

The cleaners were on my way back to Jasper's apartment and I pulled in. They had two of my suits, one black, one pinstripe, which I'd been lazy and hadn't picked up since taking them in after Emmett's wedding last year. I was hoping that one of them would fit Jasper since we were fairly close in size.

All that was left was to get back to Jasper and the start of our future.

**JPOV**

The body I was snuggled against was too soft, and my eyes flew open in panic that the last weeks had all been a dream. The confusion continued as I found myself alone in bed, until I saw the note leaning against the clock.

I was just coming out of the bathroom when the front door opened and Edward came in, his arms full of... stuff.

'What the hell, Edward? You have a sudden urge to run errands or something?" I joked with him as I hurried over to help take some of the stuff. When I saw the bag from Alice's, my stomach growled loudly.

"Patience, love," he said, pecking my lips and moving to the couch to lay his dry cleaning over it. "All will be revealed in time. First, let me feed you," he said suggestively and my dick jumped.

Viagra sperm I tell ya.

"Edward, as much as I'd like nothing more than to have a leisurely breakfast with you, I've got to get ready... my plane leaves in four hours," I said sadly.

"No it doesn't."

"It doesn't?'

"Nope." He was grinning at me as he took a drink of his coffee.

"Care to explain?" I asked, having a feeling that he was playing with me.

"Sure," he grabbed my hand and led me to the table, "right after we eat."

We actually behaved and ate... our cake.

My belly sated, I looked up at him expectantly. "Well?"

His laugh was magical and I swooned a little at the way his eyes shined... like diamond eyes.

_The story is just beginning  
>I say goodbye to my weakness, so long to the regrets<br>And now I see the world through diamond eyes_

Yes, Shinedown tumbled in my mind at the thought.

He rose from his chair and extended his hand towards me. "Come along, my impatient one," he crooned at me. I followed him back to the bedroom where he had me stop in the center of the open space.

"I need you to trust me, Jasper." I nodded, feeling my heart rate beginning to pick up as he prowled around me, divesting me of my boxers I'd pulled on when I woke.

"Your flight isn't leaving in a few hours, because _our_ flight is leaving tonight," he said as he kissed across my shoulder blades.

"You're coming with me?" I asked excitedly and he snickered.

"Over and over if I have anything to say about it," he replied cheekily. I heard a slithering sound and felt something cool and smooth against my back. Edward came around the front of me, a red satin sash in his hands.

"Um, whatcha gonna do with that, babe?" I asked, my voice thick.

"I want you to focus on my voice, my words, for the next few minutes," he started as the red material was placed over my eyes, "so I'm going to ensure you do just that."

Once he'd tied the scarf behind my head, his lips trailed heatedly down my neck as he took my hand and led me to the bed. I waited patiently until he guided me to sit between his legs, pulling my back against his chest as one arm snaked around my stomach and the other wrapped around the top of my head.

"Jasper," I let him turn my head towards him and delighted in the warm air against my ear as he went on. "I know we've only just met. But in the short time I've known you, I have run the gauntlet of emotions that only could come from the heart. This may be too soon, but I don't think it is, because of what you did for me." His hand traced my ink tenderly.

"I love you, Jasper. I unequivocally love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side." His voice was beginning to crack with emotion and before he said the next words, I knew what they were going to be and had my answer ready.

"Marry me, Jasper. Say you'll be my husband, my partner, for forever."

"As if I could say no, Edward," I whispered reverently, unable to get my voice any louder as the feeling of pure unadulterated love washed over us.

He inhaled sharply, squeezing me briefly, before he slipped out from behind me, whispering 'thank you' over and over. I listened as he moved around and grinned when I felt him kneel between my spread thighs.

"Will you wear my ring, love?" he asked softly as his fingers stroked my inner thigh and I nodded rapidly.

"With honor, Edward." I waited for him to take my left hand to slide the ring in place, instead, he surprised me when I felt his mouth begin to engulf my dick. Confused, I untied the sash and looked down at him.

Something hard was in his mouth and he was using his tongue to work it over me as I slid deeper and further into his mouth.

"Oh fuck, Edward," I panted when he swallowed around my tip and then backed off with a proud smile, revealing the diamond cock ring he'd left behind.

"Oh wow. That, that is so fucking sexy, babe," I laughed and reached down to touch it, groaning when my hand came in contact with my now swollen, and trapped, dick.

Of course, we had to take action to deflate my dick... possibly the best two hours we'd spent together so far.

After a quick shower, I briefly wondered if there would be a way to keep my ring on at all times without being rock hard.

Not that I minded, but it would get a bit distracting after a while.

We both dried off quickly, but as I went to grab a tee from my drawer, Edward stopped me by holding up one of the bags that he'd brought in from the dry cleaners.

I took it slowly, confused as to why he was holding it out for me, but when I unzipped it, my jaw hit the ground.

A suit.

With a rose in the buttonhole.

"Today?" I gasped as I looked at him in awe.

"Today," he smirked.

* * *

><p><strong><em>"TB?"<em>**

**"Yes True?"**

_**"The boys were reading over the reviews, and they like the one from ubuhall..."**_

**"Which one's that True?" *goes to read through the reviews with a smirk***

_**"The one where she asked if they could ask questions at the end for us to answer."**_

**"Really?"**

_**"Yeah, but the boys want to answer instead, so they want to set up a meeting at the shop with the readers."**_

**"That sounds dangerous, True." *shakes head***

_**"I know, I know, but I think we can keep the boys safe from their prying hands." *inserts giggle***_

**"I wasn't talking about the boys, I was talking about the readers, have you seen their shop recently? It's like a porn explosion!"**

_**"Okay, so how about we go in there and supervise while they have this little meeting?"**_

**"Oh I don't know, you know what happened the last time you went in there, I had to carry you out!"**

_**"I know, but I had to take one for the team and try out some stuff before the boys did!"**_

**"No, you just wanted to be greedy, any way, if you think if you can control yourself, I think we should do it... though there's really no telling if the boys will answer with words... or actions."**

***woop woop***

**"Happy?"**

_**"Amazingly so!"**_

* * *

><p><strong>So, texasbella and TrueEnglishRose are issuing an invitation for their readers to submit any and ALL questions to Edward and Jasper. <strong>

**Don't be shy. Questions, outtake scenes you'd like to see... hit us up and we'll see what we can do to ease the pain of no more Boys till the end of June...**

**Oh, and don't worry about bringing a bottle, unless it's lube. *sniggers***


	23. Chapter 23

**Let's get on with it... we've got some Boys anxious to get married! (And don't forget to check the blog later on because JA Mash did a couple of spectacular manips for us for this chapter!)**

**EPOV**

We didn't even bother with driving ourselves to the courthouse.

We grabbed our bags and took a cab, knowing we were headed straight to the airport afterwards, enjoying each other in the back of it until the driver told us to stop.

She was a pretty young thing, but I think we may have distracted her somewhat.

I didn't care though, it was our wedding day.

And we could do what the hell we liked.

"Get that smirk off your face, Edward, it's a long flight and I don't want you to combust over the Atlantic," Jasper laughed as we pulled up to the courthouse.

"Oh you have got to be shitting me!" Jasper cried out through hysterics as I looked out of the window.

"Holy shit," I gasped out loudly and even the cab driver joined in as we looked to the doors of the courthouse.

There was Emmett, in a bridesmaid outfit, blonde wig with makeup and matching shoes. He even had a tiara resting in the top of the wig.

"Damn..." _Was he actually wearing a bra with stuffing in it?_ "My _brother _has _boobs_," I hissed as Jasper grabbed his side, he was laughing so hard.

"Is he a relative?" the driver asked through her giggles as she got out of the cab to get our bags.

"I don't know whether to laugh at him or kill him," Jasper said as I smirked and watched Emmett as he started waving at us with a large bouquet of roses in his hand.

"That… _man_, is my brother," I chuckled as we got out of the cab and took our bags from the driver.

I went to pay her, but she waved us off.

"Call it a wedding gift, and a thank-you for the laughs that oaf just gave me," she smiled kindly as she got back into the cab.

Even with the door shut, we could still hear her laughing as she drove off.

"Someone had to be a spokesperson and see you two off in fashion," Emmett said when we reached him as he grinned and gave us a twirl, nearly keeling over in his high heels.

"Really Emmett, a bridesmaid?" Jasper was finding it hard to keep a straight face, causing it to go almost red. Trust me, I was finding this shit funny as hell too; I had just come to expect the unexpected with him.

"No, _matron of honor,_ I'm a married… person," he stuttered.

"Well, I can hardly call you a married _man_ with you in a dress, Bugs." I couldn't help it; I hugged him fiercely through my laughs, and then got a little serious.

"I appreciate all your help, man," I said as I pulled away from him.

"So, who's ready for a little 'I do' moment?" he asked as he started to skip, yes, I said skip, up the steps of the courthouse.

"He was dropped as a baby. We didn't think it did too much damage because he bounced, but I think this is a delayed reaction," I said to a passerby as he stared at us.

He gave us a strange look as we laughed harder, linked hands and did the only thing we could. We skipped after Emmett.

We soon calmed down when the enormity of what we were doing hit home.

We signed the relevant paperwork, paid the fees and waited our turn. A clerk came out and asked if we had any musical request for the ceremony and we couldn't come up with anything on the spot, so we told him to just surprise us.

I was turning into a nervous wreck.

Not because of what we were doing, I was totally on board with that, but I had never lived with anyone but my family.

I would have to share things. Ask for his opinion. Everything would be split down the middle. _Hmmm... split..._

Again, I was totally on board for that, but it would be one hell of an adjustment.

One that I was looking forward to.

"Mr. Cullen and Mr. Whitlock, please," a man in a suit asked as he came out of the far end door.

"This is us," I said with a beaming smile to Jasper.

Emmett jumped up, and staggered again in his shoes, and we all walked over to the man.

"I swear I had nothing to do with it," I laughed at the look on his face as he took in Emmett's appearance.

"Whatever takes his fancy I suppose, but I've seen it all, so it doesn't bother me," he said kindly as he held the door open for us.

"I can handle the shoes, but it's the thong that's killing me," Emmett griped as he walked through. We all just stood there and glared at him as he continued to wobble on his feet.

Just as we got situated and were waiting for the Justice of the Peace, the doors flew open and in walked Rose, looking absolutely stunning in a pink gown that matched Emmett's.

"You lot are such idiots, two witnesses, you need two and why the hell are you getting this jerk to witness anyway?" she huffed as she walked with pure perfection towards us, hitching her thumb over her shoulder at my brother.

"Emmett, there was a reason God gave you a dick and not a vagina," she hissed as she stood next to Jasper, who had stood up to welcome her. "No offense to either one of you," she elaborated as she turned to Jasper and I with a smile.

"Hi, Rose, none taken," he said, even though he hadn't even met her yet.

"Hi Jasper, nice to_ finally _meet you. Edward is a selfish prick and kept you all to himself," she whispered quietly, but loud enough for me to hear as she planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Nice to see you, too," Emmett grumbled as he tried to take his wife's hand.

"Nah-ah, I am not your wife while you're in that get-up." She glared at him and it made us all laugh, even the Justice of the Peace, who we hadn't even noticed had walked into the room.

"How about we get you tied?" he asked as we all nodded.

He welcomed us and went over a few things before it was time to say our vows. As we all took our places, the intensity of the atmosphere lightened up as Elton John's voice suddenly boomed out, filling the space around us.

_Spring is here, the sky is blue_

_Birds will sing as if they knew_

_Today's the day, we'll say I do_

_And we'll never be lonely any more_

"Simeon_**, **_turn that down!" shouted the Justice of the Peace as he looked at us apologetically and we just laughed.

_Because we're going to the chapel_

_And we're gonna to get married_

_Going to the chapel_

_And we're gonna get married_

_Gee I really love you_

_And we're gonna get married_

_Going to the chapel of love_

Simeon found the volume control and the song faded into the background as we proceeded.

_Bells will ring, the sun will shine_

_I will be hers, and she'll be mine_

_We'll love until the end of time_

_And we'll never be lonely any more_

"If you would like to face each other and hold hands," he smiled as we did as he said.

I gasped as I saw the intensity of love in Jasper's eyes.

"I love you," I whispered gently, making him smile wider.

"Now, Mr. Cullen, I have a card here of your chosen vows," he held out the card and I smiled as I read and re-read them silently, then finally aloud.

"I, Edward Anthony Cullen, ask you, Jasper Marion Whitlock, to be my husband, as my friend and my love. On this day I affirm the relationship we have enjoyed, looking to the future to deepen and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together we will dream, will stumble and restore each other, we will share all things, serving each other and our fellow humanity. I will cherish and respect you, comfort and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as we both shall live, both freed and bound by our love." I choked up at the end, but I didn't care.

All I cared about was that Jasper was standing in front of me, smiling gently and gripping my hands.

"Thank-you, Edward. That was lovely. Now it's your turn Mr. Whitlock," the man said as he showed Jasper the same card.

He gave a little cough to clear his throat before he started reciting the vows.

"I, Jasper Marion Whitlock, ask you, Edward Anthony Cullen, to be my husband, as my friend and my love. On this day I affirm the relationship we have enjoyed, looking to the future to deepen and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together we will dream, will stumble and restore each other, we will share all things, serving each other and our fellow humanity. I will cherish and respect you, comfort and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as we both shall live, both freed and bound by our love," his gentle voice carried through the room and by the end, you could hear a pin drop.

The Justice of the Peace smiled warmly at us as Rose gave him our rings which I had gotten from Mr. Brandon this morning as well. He laid them on his book before looking at the pair of us.

"Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings. The wedding ring is a symbol of the vows taken here today…a circle of wholeness perfect in form. The unending circle of a ring is a sign of fidelity, the pledged faithfulness of a couple to each other. These rings mark the beginning of an unending journey together, filled with wonder and surprises, laughter and tears, celebration and joy. May these rings glow in the warmth and happiness of you both today." He smiled as he handed out the book and we each took each other's rings.

Ever so slowly, we slid the platinum rings on and I was hit by the strong emotions of our connection.

"There may be times filled with happiness, sorrow, tears or laughter, whatever it may be, remember love has given you wings; your journey begins today; Edward and Jasper, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, remember the love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make your marriage a glorious union, and it is by love that your marriage will endure.

Edward and Jasper, as you have consented together in lawful wedlock and thereto have pledged your faith to each other, and have declared the same by joining hands and the giving and receiving of rings, an exchanged your first gifts as a married couple, and by the powers vested in me as a Justice of the Peace for the State of Washington, I pronounce you are now married! If you wish to seal this marriage with a kiss, you may now do so." He chuckled as I pulled Jasper to me and kissed him…. Hard.

~(*)~

**JPOV**

"I cannot believe your middle name is Marion," Emmett laughed yet again as we sipped champagne in one of the bars at the airport.

"Oh shut up, Emmett _Engelbert _Cullen," Edward laughed as I tossed him over a packet of peanuts.

"_Engelbert_, really?" I laughed harder than I had before.

"Uh-huh, mom had a thing for a singer, _Engelbert _Humperdinck, so he got called that. I suppose it was better than mom's favorite song by him. If Emmett was a girl, they were going to call him _Delilah_," Edward laughed as Emmett scowled at him.

We all had a good laugh at Emmett's expense, but we had to go through security, so we calmed down and said goodbye to them.

Three weeks. Three glorious weeks in the sun, sand and sex with Edward and I couldn't bloody wait to be honest.

Okay, so we'd have to go through the hell of getting through the airport and also a thirteen hour flight.

The airport I could deal with, but a thirteen hour flight without touching, palming or fucking Edward was not something I was looking forward to, not one bit.

But hey, this was our honeymoon, well, it would be once my business was taken care of, so it was every man for himself and if we could get in a little lovin' time, we would.

I'd make bloody sure of it.

In the short time that we'd officially been together, a day hadn't gone by when either one of us hadn't pleasured the other, and I wasn't going to let an airplane stop that.

**~The End~**

**(Until Greece) hehehe**

**Without getting soppy on your arses, yes I said arses hehe, I just wanted to let you know how it has been a blast to write this and for you to give us your reactions. I can't even tell you how I came up with the idea, where it started or where I wanted it finished, it was just an idea. So thank-you from the bottom of my heart for following us and the boys on the journey so far.  
><strong>

**Another huge thanks goes to Texasbella. This is when I do get soppy lol. I know I had to fight you almost for you to join me on this, but I truly mean it when I say that there is no way I could have done this without you. From your drunk writing, kick ass music, drool worthy sex and much more, it's all been so amazing. On our journey you have gone from my beta to a wonderful friend who has been there at all times for me, despite having your own shit to deal with and you are truly an amazing friend to have. Saying thank-you just doesn't seem to be enough, but I mean it all the same.  
><strong>

**And Jess! Words fail me as I think about the blog, the pictures, your skills, everything you do is simply breathtaking. There is no way that this story would be where it is today if you hadn't helped us out with our boys. Both TB and I would be lost without you. Thank-you so much! Love ya bb :D  
><strong>

**So, with the soppy shit over, I'll see if TB wants to say a few words...  
><strong>

**And now, we come to the end. It's been a crazy fun ride, and if the reviews are anything to go by, ya'll have thought so too. We can't say thank you enough to everyone who has reviewed, alerted, pimped out the story and finally, nominated our Boys in the Wordsmith Awards (remember voting opens May 17th). We got great response on the whole Q&A/ outtake scenes concept and are still accepting suggestions. We've got the first outtake, "The Stool" already written and will probably post that next week. There won't be any set posting schedule, just as we can get them written, we'll get them posted, so if you don't have us on alert yet, please do so... wouldn't want you to miss any of the hilarity that is sure to cum... er, come.**

**To True... what more can I say than ditto babe! Oh... and bacon is NOT eaten with a knife and fork... it's just not. LMAO.**

**JA... again, ditto on True's words, you helped us bring this story to life in so many ways.**

**To the readers... we love you and we'll see you soon!**


	24. Outtake 1  The Stool

**Outtake Scene #1: **The Stool from chapter 20 (Jasper told you NOT to ask, but you did... so, here ya go!)

**JPOV **

_"I think this ink on our chests speaks loud and clear about what our future entails, don't you?" His voice had deepened, become husky and once again, I couldn't resist him._

"Don't I?" I quipped back as I licked my lips and lunged. He wasn't prepared for my action, so he stumbled back against the breakfast stool in front of the island. "I'm the one with the ink just barely scabbed over, I can still feel the needle pulsing in and out of me..."

"That little needle is nothing compared to what I can pulse in and out of you, Jasper," he panted against my lips and my dick, which was already hard, got even harder.

"Yes please, and thank you!" I screamed as he grabbed the knife I'd been cutting fruit up with, and cut my boxers from my body, making me giggle like a little girl, before he spun me around and pushed me over the stool and dropped to his knees behind me.

I jerked, my head hitting the stool, when I felt something cold press against my opening but before I could ask what it was, his tongue was probing me, taking away the coldness. Just as I'd relaxed and started pressing back against his face, his tongue disappeared and the cold was sliding against me, inside me, once again.

And Edward was giggling.

I twisted my head around to see what he was doing, my jaw dropping open as I saw him pull away a piece of pineapple before he plunged his tongue back into me, licking and slurping up all the juice he'd just squished out onto me.

I sniggered, promptly being cut off and changing to a guttural moan when he pushed his tongue in deep.

"More, Edward, need more..." I begged and he stood up, pulling his own boxers off to free his dick. He helped me straighten up, gave me a pineapple flavored kiss and then spun me around again.

"Step up on the rungs and hold onto the back, love," he instructed and I followed. When he pushed into me, I could breathe easier. I needed to be connected with him like this. There was just no way around it. I was only whole when we did this. When we were actually able to crawl inside each other.

He took a couple of slow test pumps. My arms on the back of the chair had me at an angle that didn't allow for maximum penetration, so I moved my hands to the edge of the seat and grabbed tightly, my ass thrusting further out... and he went deeper.

And then I just held on for the ride of a lifetime.

As active as we'd been, I was well stretched and it was nothing for him to really get a good pounding going. Fucking fantastic is what it felt like. My nipples were tingling and he was dragging his pierced head over my prostate with each thrust and pull as the piercings at the base of his dick stroked my outer ring with his movement.

It was greedy of me, I know, but I wanted more... and this is where I made the mistake and shit got funny.

I stupidly released one edge of the seat to take my dick in hand.

He was so lost in his fucking of me that he didn't notice the stool wobble and start to go off balance. Neither did I, for that matter, as the feel of my dick in my hand as he ground into me was too fucking good. I was a pre-pubescent teen who had discovered for the first time that a dick was good for more than just taking a piss.

I stroked.

He pumped.

The stool wobbled and my foot slipped between the rungs.

The whole lot went tumbling to the ground as we heard wood break amongst our cries of ecstasy as he filled my ass and I shot my spunk into the air.

Apparently, in going down, one of us had knocked the fruit tray off the counter, and we were sat amidst wood, cum and fruit.

Edward picked up a grape, popped it into his mouth and grinned as I shook my head and laughed. "That was fun."

**A/N: Happy Hump Day all you beautiful readers! You've given us some great questions to ask the boys but only a couple of "outtakes" have been requested... feel free to hit us up for more and we'll see what we can do!**

**xoxo.**

**TrueEnglishRose and texasbella**


	25. Outtake 2 Jasper's Second Piercing

**Surprise! Happy hump day readers!**

**twi-hard-twilight-addict asked us if there would be any more ink or piercings in the future and once we saw that question, well, we just had to give you this! Hehe.**

**Remember: This is a future take, so this has happened AFTER they have come back from their honeymoon :)**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

He was ready.

He wanted to do this.

But it turned into him looking like a dog that was just about to have his balls chopped off at the vet's.

Okay, seriously, we'd been talking about it for ages. It started off harmlessly enough. _I _thought that it would be cool to get matching bands in ink under our wedding rings. He liked the idea.

Then _he_ mentioned about getting piercings and matching jewelry. That was cool with me.

Then he kept asking about how it felt, to do the fucking with cock piercings.

I went into a full and very detailed explanation about how it felt and showed him a little, _okay a lot_, and not only what I felt but what he would feel.

He got the hint, obviously.

So anyway, here we were, weeks later and he was pacing up and down the street outside Bella's _Ink & Bars._

If I didn't find him so damn adorable, I'd laugh.

"Jasper, you don't have to do this, I promise!" I fought hard to keep in the chuckle that was brewing.

His face was now green.

I shouldn't have found it cruel, but I couldn't help it. Mainly because this was all his idea.

"I want to do this, more than anything, but, it's my manhood!" He let out a noise that was between a whine and a whimper as he cradled his dick in his hands.

"And what a fine piece of manhood it is," I crooned as I shifted my ass so that it wouldn't go dead on me and shimmied up the hood of the truck. "Manhood that I thoroughly enjoyed swallowing down this morning. I can't wait till you've got steel in it, steel that is going to feel so incredible when you push into my ass... for you and for me. Come here," I said gently as I held out my hands to him. He took them slowly and over his shoulder I saw Bella smiling at us.

Oh yeah, I bet she was finding this funny.

I wasn't in a much better state when I had had my first one done. Okay, so I was nearly sick, but what do you expect when I was facing what I was.

"_Hold still," Bella giggled as I flailed about on her bed, my jeans around my ankles._

"_No way, Bella, absolutely not, get it away from me!"_

"_But I have to learn somewhere," she pouted her sickly little pout that I fell for every stinking time._

"_No." I was a man, I was firm._

"_Pleasssssse, Edward," she made the pout stronger and I caved._

"_I need vodka and ice, STAT," I growled out with a huff for added effect._

"_I have the ice already," she grinned, but I shook my head._

"_I need ice for drink..."_

_A few minutes later, after she'd raided Charlie's liquor cabinet, she handed me my drink and got me to lie down on her tiny twin bed._

"_If you even think about quitting your course after this, I'm going to hunt you down," I said a little too politely as she rummaged around in her little box of tricks, "and return the every stick you give me."_

"_I won't quit, I promise," she grinned again and I softened slightly._

_After months of arguments and debates, she finally backed down and let me pay for her to go to college to study piercing and ink, but what she didn't know was that Charlie and I had seen a rundown store that would be perfect for her first little enterprise when she graduated in a couple of months._

_Charlie didn't have much in the way of money, but between the pair of us, we bought it and were in the middle of getting it all ready and kitted out for her as a graduation present._

_And I was currently lying on her bed, waiting to get my cock pierced. Her first test subject outside of the classroom._

_I was pretty much screwed._

"_Edward, stop getting it to twitch," she mumbled as she looked in her bag once more and…_

"_HOLY SHIT ON A STICK! Not a hope in hell if you think you're coming near me with that!" I cried out as I scurried up the bed._

_The needle was fucking huge!_

_Like knitting needle huge!_

"_Don't be such a baby, now get back here and stop your cock from twitching, it's putting me off."_

"_It's not twitching, it's fucking shaking because it's scared and your clit would be scared too if it had a needle that big coming near it," I bit back._

_She let out a soft giggle as she stood up by the side of the bed, undid her jeans and dropped them and her panties._

"_No way!" I cried out as I actually sat up, pulled her towards me by the hips and took in what I saw._

"_Oh hun, he's gonna whoop your ass if he ever sees that!" I chuckled._

_In a beautiful calligraphy style font, were the words _'my daddy will kill you'_ right over her pussy. I'm not talking about just below her belly button, oh no, I mean right above her clit._

"_If it scares any men away, then I know they wouldn't have the balls to deal with me anyway," she giggled as she pushed me back down on the bed and then got her clothes sorted out._

_A few moments later, with me taking in huge gulps of Vodka and air in equal measures, she did it._

_Heat radiated up and down my body as the pain hit._

"_Fuck, shit, cunt, bollocks!" I cried out as she pulled out the needle and instantly put through a small ring._

"_Aww, you big baby, would you like me to kiss it better?"_

"_Bitch."_

I smirked as the memory faded and I returned my attention to my whimpering husband. "Jasper, you really don't need to do this," I said gently as I pulled him into my arms, but he shook his head.

"No, I do, but I know it's going to hurt and that's worse than the unexpected, right? I'm going to walk in there knowing it's going to hurt and I'm going to go in there anyway. What stupid person does that?" he asked and instantly paled before adding, "Not that you are in any way stupid sweetheart."

"Hey, I was the same and if you want a laugh, I'll let Bella explain to you what I went through," I chuckled as I guided him back slightly so I could slide off of the hood.

~(*)~

**JPOV**

Bella was sweet, with wicked tendencies, served up with a side of bitch.

Seriously, she was sweet and kind, but she had a quick mouth and loved to put Edward in his place, acting more like his wife than a friend. She was definitely more feisty with him here than when I'd first come by myself all those months ago.

"Quit slapping my hand away!" Edward whined as he reached for my hand again, only for it to be slapped yet again.

"I need his one-eyed anaconda to be soft and everytime you touch him, it twitches," she glared at him as he stuck his tongue out at her. "You don't want me to mess up and cause erectile damage to him do you?"

I didn't know if they were flirting or acting like brother and sister, but it was fun to watch... until she added those last words. The banter had certainly been helping me take my mind off of what she was going to do to me and the pain I was just about to go through.

"One-eyed anaconda, that's a new one," Edward chuckled as he pushed her away and grabbed my hand anyways.

"Oh yeah, I've been reading up on them, for research," she let out a little giggle as Edward rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fill me in," I smiled as Edward chuckled.

"When Bella went through school, she knew what she wanted to do as a job, but felt uncomfortable being around penises without feeling awkward, so we both came up with a growing list of cock and pussy names. Every time she felt uncomfortable, she would start reciting to herself the strange and funny names," he giggled like a schoolgirl as Bella glared at him.

"It wasn't just me that was uncomfortable, Edward. I distinctly remember you pleading with me to 'date' you in school because vaginas looked strange and wrinkly. Let me tell you something, Jasper, Edward, as in your husband… he was a nerd and a wimp in school. He had these thick black rimmed glasses, a side parting and pants hiked up to his armpits. It wasn't until the last year when I'd had enough of him looking like a Clark Kent wannabe that he finally had the girls chasing him and _he _came running to _me_. Obviously I knew that he preferred a thick cock over a wrinkled pussy because of the amount of gay porn we swapped, so I agreed to pretend to date him until we graduated," she laughed loudly as Edward shrank back into the small stool that he was perched on.

"You were a geek?" I purred softly as he gave me a nervous grin and I couldn't stop myself from picturing what he would look like in thick framed glasses and smartly dressed... clothes with lots of buttons that would slowly need to be undone...

"Jasper!"

_Slap._

"What the hell was that for, Bella? My dick, really?" I argued back as I now tried to cover my shriveling dick. That shit hurt ya know!

"No getting hard unless I can join in," she growled playfully as she eyed my cock.

Edward laughed this time as I blanched.

After what we had done on our honeymoon, I would have no problem letting Bella watch. Maybe, some day, even join in a little, but not yet. We were still in our honeymoon phase and I wasn't ready to share Edward with anyone at the moment.

"Are you ready?" Bella asked with a smirk as she made a dramatic show of putting on her surgical gloves with a loud snap.

I gulped.

"No," I said quietly.

"Tough," she replied happily.

I rested my head back and close my eyes, waiting for the pain to start.

"Is it strange to see a woman's hands all over your husband's cock, Edward?" I heard Bella's voice as she started to touch me gently.

I heard a faint growl before a bit of a stretching and something cool, like metal, then... PAIN!

"…_cum gun, heat-seeking moisture missile, meter long king kong dong, pink torpedo, purple-headed yogurt flinger…"_

"I feel sick," I moaned out as my head pounded.

"Hey, welcome back, baby," I heard Edward's voice as he stroked my hair.

"Hey, hunk, you awake now?" Bella's voice giggled and then she continued, "The pussy ones are scarier… minge, sausage wallet, vertical smile…"

"I get it, Bella, but please, I feel sick enough as it is," I moaned again as my stomach churned.

"Yeah, he's been scarred enough by an Amazon Rain Forest," Edward laughed and if I had the strength, I'd have hit him.

"Oh please don't tell me she never shaved! Oh, Jasper, you really need to be educated better. I can show you any time you guys want me to."

Even with my eyes shut I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Let me heal first, please?" I chuckled a little.

"Talking about healing, Edward knows how to keep it all clean and stuff, so I don't need to lecture you on it, but you _do _have to let it heal before you can do any extracurricular activities… so no sex for at least six weeks."

"WHAT?"

"_WHAT!" _I screeched as I gave over to my stomach and shared my lunch with the she devil from Hades.

* * *

><p><strong>Hehe, I know, we're cruel… but you love us :)<strong>

**So… we still need more questions for our Q&A session with the boys and of course more ideas for outtakes and future takes.**

**Until next time,**

**TB &TER **

**xXx**


	26. Outtake 3 Never Squat With Your Spurs On

**Outtake #3 Never Squat with Your Spurs On**

So... the Boys WON! In the Wordsmith Awards, Edward walked away with Best Edward (along with JA Mash's E from Fracture... they tied!) and the story got Best Non Canon...What can we say, but THANK YOU! You, the readers, have made this whole adventure so much more and we are sincerely humbled by this news. In that vein, we've decided to put together this little outtake to express our gratitude... and of course, ya'll, in one form or another, have asked for this.

**Tracey asked:** Do they have any 'scene' fantasies they plan to act out? If so, are any of us allowed to join in?

**twi-hard-twilight-addict asked a couple that we're blending:** Fantasy you've had of Jasper/Edward that they have made come to life and one you would love to make come to life. Kinkiest thing you've ever done and a kinky thing you want to do.

**WitchyVampireGirl asked & suggested for the win:** Hmm outtake- ohhh a role play? Ohh their version of Brokeback? Ohh Jasper in spurs riding Edward.. UNGH.. yea... *sighs*

_**Ya'll got yer spurs and giddy ups ready? Good, let's get 'er done! **_

_**P.S. This one is post honeymoon... pre piercing.**_

**JPOV**

We'd been back from Greece a little over a week and unfortunately, had barely been able to spend any time together. Emmett had made a disaster of the store... none of the receipts matched up, he had a dozen cases of tennis balls sat in the backroom and no packing slip for Edward to figure out how to send them back. Neither one of us had been able to figure out how the hell he'd ordered so many either.

And that was just the back office of the store.

The front, well, it looked like there had been a Black Friday sale and the place had been picked over something fierce... everything was a huge mess and it was taking Edward late into the night as he tried to clean the place back up.

Me, on the other hand, I'd been busy with trying to tie up loose ends. Working out my two week notice, which included training my replacement, getting some stocks sold off so I could buy into the business and be full partners with Edward... and the last two days... packing my apartment so I could move in with Edward... we were married after all... there was no way we were going to live in two different places.

Bottom line, by the time we had returned to his place each night we were dirty, sore and beat. Too tired to do much more than shower and get in bed to snuggle to sleep. I suppose after our three week fuck fest, taking a week off shouldn't have been so bad, but come on... this was us... we didn't like to wait!

My phone chirped with an incoming message. _** Don't be late... I can't wait another minute to take you for a ride loverboy! xoxo E **_

I grinned.

We had agreed that at 4:00 sharp, we were both walking away from whatever we were doing and that tonight was officially date night.

I read his message and glanced down at the items I was currently packing and started grinning wider... and hardening... as a brilliant idea came to mind.

_**Wouldn't miss it for the world... and I'm definitely looking forward to that ride! See ya soon. Love you, J**_

I sent the message as my hands stroked the smooth worn leather of the saddle I'd earned back in high school. Right next to it were my leather chaps, my snakeskin hat, and my riding boots... complete with spurs.

It was only 3:00, but I was calling it quits for the day.

I had a scene to set up.

**EPOV**

_Must not kill Emmett. Must not kill Emmett. I had a honeymoon because of Emmett. Must not kill him._

This mantra was on repeat in my head as I dealt with the mess my precious store had become. If I didn't know better, I'd think he'd let two dozen five year old pervs loose in here and not made them clean up before they went home.

I was in the middle of putting the breast play area, _you know... clamps, bands, pasties, that kind of thing,_ back together when the store phone rang and I spun to jog over to answer it. Halfway there, I hit a slick spot on the floor and was pretty sure I looked like some reject from an Adam Sandler movie as my arms flailed in circles while I fought to keep my balance and still move forward.

"The Lion's Den," I panted into the receiver having barely reached the counter still upright. Ten minutes later I got off the call. Something had finally gone right. The people at Wilson just happened to call to make sure the order of tennis balls had arrived on time and were satisfactory. I quickly explained how my assistant had mis-ordered while I was on vacation and while I was sure they were great balls, I couldn't sell them in a sex toy shop. The lady had been a bit flustered and before she could get going, I cut her off saying that he thought he was ordering ben wa balls.

Within two minutes the order was cancelled and a pick up arranged for Monday morning.

I went to the back to grab the cleaning supplies and headed back to where I'd slipped. I found the nearly empty bottle of lube under the shelf edge, its top broken. I just shook my head as I pulled out my phone and shot a text off to my man. If I didn't get some relief with him soon, I was going to kill Emmett.

**JPOV**

I knew we were supposed to go to dinner and work our way into the physical part of our 'date,' but I had a hunch that with what I had planned, Edward would have no problems holding off on the food. Experience had taught me that if I'd tried to have it going when he got home, it would've just ended up burnt anyways. So I did the next best thing.

I'd swung by the party store on the way home and picked up some cheap cowboy decorations and had transformed the combined kitchen and dining area into a saloon of sorts. I had a basket of peanuts on the counter and a beer poured into an ice cold mug, complete with a frothy top when I hit play on the iPod and ducked behind the counter to wait for him.

He was due here any minute.

The sounds of _Big and Rich_ were filling the small space when the door opened and a very bedraggled looking Edward walked in. At first he seemed confused as his eyes roamed over the cheesy decorations, until they got to me. He straightened up, licked his lips and as his eyes darkened, he moved forward.

I knew from where he was standing, he could only see that I was shirtless and in my cowboy hat. I couldn't wait for him to see the rest of the outfit.

"Howdy pardner! You look a might weary tonight, how about a tall cold one?" I drawled out at him, fighting not to laugh at how ridiculous I sounded, as I nodded my head towards the beer.

The corner of his mouth twitched as he stepped up to the bar and lifted the mug. He tilted it back and drained about a third of it before lowering it back to the counter and very seductively licked the foam from his upper lip. _Yeah, my little cowboy wasn't so little after that stunt._

"Thankya kindly," he drawled back in an accent even worse than mine. At least he was willing to play along!

"Fancy a finger or two," his eyebrows shot up and I laughed, "of whiskey?" I finished.

"Two fingers please," he replied saucily with a wink.

I nodded once and turned around. I stepped away from the counter, towards the booze cabinet and knew by the sharp hiss of his inhale when he spotted the rest of the costume. Or should I say the lack of the rest of the costume. All I had on were the chaps and the boots, so he was getting a good view of my ass and as soon as I turned back around, which I did with the Crown in my hand, he got a great view of my dick, standing proud and tall.

The handful of peanuts he was about to pop into his mouth, clattered to the countertop as his mouth dropped open. "Fuck."

I put the Crown down. "You got it cowboy," I crooned and began a bow legged swagger out and around the counter. My dick bobbed against my stomach as I moved. My spurs made a rhythmic, almost tinkle sound with each step.

Once I was stood in front of him, we stayed there, frozen as he looked me up and down and then dropped to his knees. He looked up at me, smiling as he whispered 'so god damn sexy' and then took me in.

It had only been days, but it'd felt like months. My dick had missed this... so much. Because of that, I let him lavish me with his talented tongue, groaning when he ran his tongue piercing along the underside of my dick with just enough pressure for it to be tortuous bliss, for a few minutes. As much as I liked him sucking me off, his mouth was not where I wanted to cum tonight. Oh no, I had bigger plans for my cowboy.

**EPOV**

The sight of him in his chaps, just, no words. The smooth leather framing his engorged cock, shaping around his sexy ass... had me ready to blow in my jeans. Then he'd started that damn swagger and I'd heard the spurs.

It took me so long to get on my knees in front of him because he was just fucking gorgeous and I'd briefly had trouble believing that he was really mine, that this wasn't some kind of demented pornographic dream I was having.

He had just showered, I could tell by the clean scent of him, so I had to work my tongue under and around his balls to really taste him. I couldn't believe he had done this. I couldn't have loved him more for doing it. As I worked him over and his breathing picked up, his natural scent flowed stronger and I began sucking him in earnest, taking him down until my nose was buried in his neatly trimmed stubble. I wanted him to fuck my mouth, ride my face... feed me his seed.

But he pulled out, the loud pop sounding like a BB gun, and took a step back away from me, shaking his head. I would've pouted if the smile on his face and the sparkle in his blue eyes hadn't been so... _naughty_.

He crooked his finger at me and made a clicking sound. It took me a minute, but I realized it was a sound you'd make at a horse. I playfully neighed back at him and he laughed.

"That's a good boy, Mr. Ed, you want some sugar, you wanna a treat, boy?" he said and I nodded and shook my head, neighing again. _Hell, I'd always thought I was hung like a horse... why not play the part?_

I dropped to my hands and knees and 'trotted' over to him. He rubbed and petted my hair, his nails digging into my scalp feeling delicious as he twisted his hips slowly side to side, letting his leaking dick bop off my cheeks until I caught him and sucked him down again.

He grunted and pumped in and out of my mouth a few times while I fought to undo my jeans and get out of them. Kind of a feat to accomplish with your mouth full. I didn't release him until I needed to get my shirt off and that time he moved away, telling me to get up on the ottoman while he grabbed a couple of things.

I climbed up excitedly, knowing that this put me at just the right height for a good ass reaming. I stretched my back and wiggled my rear until he came back. Whatever he'd brought, he set down behind me so I couldn't see. I barked out a laugh when he came around the front with a pair of blinders in his hand.

"What the hell are you doing with those?" I asked. He just shot me a crooked smile and replied, "Making you a horse."

This was weirder than anything I'd ever done... and trust me, I'd done some weird shit in my time. But I could care less... we were laughing, we were having fun and most of all of we were just letting go with each other.

He slipped the blinders on my head, much to both of our amusement. My laughing stopped though, when his tongue suddenly pushed into my ass. My man could rim like no other and for the next ten, fifteen minutes, he did just that. He licked, he sucked, and he pumped his tongue in and out. He swirled it in and around, his teeth nipped at the sensitive flesh around my opening... all while I whimpered and groaned and begged for more... by neighing of course.

**JPOV**

I loved how into this he was getting. I'd fantasized a time or two about doing some kind of role play with him, knowing he'd be up for anything, but nothing had ever come to mind until I'd find my old 4H stuff. Damn if he wasn't playing along perfectly.

I wrapped up my rim job and popped open the lube to take him to the next level... I couldn't wait much longer. Where I normally would've enjoyed stretching him with my fingers, feeling his body relax and open to me, prepare for my dick to fill him, I wanted to move this along.

I drizzled a generous amount of the lube on his ass, rubbing it in before I grabbed a large butt plug, greased it up and pushed it in him. It would just be for a few minutes while I got everything else situated. He moaned softly and arched his ass up towards me so I playfully smacked him which made him jerk and groan.

I grabbed the next toy, our 'Anal Invader' and moved back in front of him so he could watch me put it on... so he would know what I was enduring while I made love to him. He eyed me hungrily as I lubed up my own cock and slid the latex caging down my shaft. When it was time for the vibrating plug part of the toy to go in, I turned around and bent over in front of him, handing him the lube and the plug. Moments later it was sitting snugly inside me. He turned it on and I shivered from the feeling.

I started to squat down so I could kiss him and flew back up with a shriek. Never squat with your spurs on! It hurts!

Once we stopped laughing and he'd kissed the two red spots I now had on my backside, I went to add the last bit of my surprise.

He tried to turn his head and look when I laid the small blanket over his back, but because of the blinders, he couldn't see. "What the fuck?" he said with a nervous laugh as he felt the weight of the saddle on his back.

I popped him again and replied, "I told you I was making you a horse!" I wasn't actually going to sit IN the saddle of course, I just wanted to see how it looked. It was surprisingly hot.

I leaned forward and kissed his shoulder as I wrapped my arms under his waist to do up the straps. Once the saddle was secure, I took my position behind him. I pulled the plug out and quickly replaced it with my dick... both of us crying out at the sensation. Though I think he whinnied.

It took me a second to get my breath back, but as his ass started clenching and gripping at me, I began sliding in and out of him. I steadied myself by grabbing the back curve of the saddle with my right hand as my left hand went under him to stroke him. It was a bit awkward and was hindering how much I could move, so I pulled him to his knees and instructed him to stroke himself as I gripped the saddle with both hands. Holding on like this, I was able to take long deep strokes in and out of his tight passage.

He was snorting, neighing and whinnying... fully playing his part. I think I even heard him mumbling the Mr. Ed song as he fought his orgasm.

Big and Rich were singing about saving a horse and riding a cowboy... check.

And I was yelling 'Yeehaw, ride 'em cowboy' as I rode Edward for all I was worth.

He came a few minutes before me, his now sticky free hands coming behind him to hold my thighs as he pushed back into me, grinding against me until I couldn't hold back any longer and I filled his ass in long ropey spurts.

We were both sweaty and panting and still connected when the front door flew open and Emmett barged in yelling, "I'm pregnant!"

"Emmett!" we both screamed at the same time. "Gonna kill you!" I shouted as Edward's hand snapped out and grabbed a tennis ball that happened to be on the couch next to us. With uncanny precision he launched it at Emmett's head as he hollered, "Get the fuck out!"

Emmett dodged the ball and started laughing. "That's the kinkiest shit I've seen... go bro! We'll talk later," he called out as he ran back out the door, slamming it behind him.

A/N: Well now... you never know WHEN that silly Emmett is going to show up! LOL. Hope ya'll enjoyed... and for those of you that donated to Fandom4Autism, the compilations went out yesterday and we REALLY hope you're enjoying the start of their honeymoon! Till next time... thanks so much!

texasbella and TrueEnglishRose


	27. A plea for help

***Sniffs***

**We're sorry that this isn't a chapter or an outtake :(**

**As you might know, FFN is enforcing their 'no sex, adult situations' policy, which means that this story cannot continue on here :(**

**We have moved the story over to The Writer's Coffee Shop, including the outtakes etc… for you to read over there, but we do need to ask you something…**

**All the way along, you have been by our side and your reviews have been the main thing that keeps us going. **

**We love your words, jokes, name calling (Maggot ring a bell?)**

**We love your ideas, your questions, well basically, we love everything about you :)**

**Either I or Texasbella are ones to beg, plead and grovel for reviews, but we are asking that today.**

**We have 929 reviews for this story and we would love to take them with us and sadly we can't, but YOU can….**

**If you can spare five minutes, please leave us reviews over at TWCS for the chapters, hell, copy and paste the ones from here if you like, but it would be great for new and old readers alike to read them when we post Toysper Goes To Greece :) **

**It will be hard explaining certain things in the new chapters when the ideas have come from you and your reviews and they wouldn't understand where they came from.  
><strong>

**As a huge thank-you, TB and I will be more than happy to give you another outtake/future take before we start posting TGTG.**

**And talking of TGTG (we're going to lose the story over here anyway, so what the hell hehe):**

"Jesus Christ, Jasper," I groaned as his nose hit my pubic bone, taking me all the way in, down his throat.

_Now_ I was in heaven.

"Jasper, please, fuck me," I moaned, making him let go of me.

"My pleasure," he chuckled as he kissed a slow path up my chest until he was hovering above me and his fingers were stretching my tight hole.

"Now, Jasper," I growled as I pulled him forcefully down to kiss him.

Ever so slowly he slid into me, taking his sweet ass time.

"Like this?" he asked as he bucked his hips into me, sending a shiver of cool pleasure through my body.

"No, harder," I whimpered as he pulled on one of my nipple bars.

_Damn, this man knew how to play my body._

"Harder, like this?" he thrust into me harder, causing my head to fall back deeply into the sand.

"Yes, like that," I cried out as he fell on top of my body and started to ply my skin with wet kisses.

I raised my legs higher, desperate for him to go deeper, harder and he didn't disappoint.

"How hard?" he grunted as he carried on thrusting, harder and harder.

"As hard as you can, I want to _feel _what you've done to me later." I grinned as he pulled up from me and brought my legs up onto his shoulders.

"Fuck!" I cried out as he pumped even harder into me as I grabbed my cock, desperate to come with him.

"Nearly," he whimpered hoarsely as his hips lost their rhythm.

And then we came.

In a mass of sweaty limbs, and loud words.

**There is NO cockblocking at all in the new story! **

**Stow your pom poms, ladies, we need to get Boys and Their Toys sorted out first lol.**

**All the chapters are now up on TWCS and our username is: ****TexasRoseFanfiction****, so please, search it out, leave your awesome reviews and we will give you a kick ass hot as fuck outtake!**

**What do you say? **

**Gonna join us over there?**

**Hopefully we're see you soon :)**

**xxx**


	28. Sequel

Hello all you lovelies!

This is just a quick reminder that it is now June 30th... which means...

Toysper Goes To Greece is now live!

But not here, cause FF blows. If you want to see what the boys are going to encounter while in Greece, you'll need to come on over to TWCS to follow the sequel.

Same penname... TexasRoseFanfiction... we look forward to seeing ya'll over there!

xoxo

texasbella and TrueEnglishRose


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